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December 2015 Moms
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Weird to have baby shower/ housewarming party ?

lauren812laurenlauren812lauren member
in December 2015 Moms
My husband and I just bought a new house and honestly I don't have a lot of people to invite to my baby shower, lots of family/friends don't live in the area. Is it weird if we combine the two (housewarming we were going to do anyway just for fun) and make it super casual or does it look funny and like we're fishing for gifts? That way my husbands friends and wives could come too, instead of the typical "women only" thing at baby showers. Opinions?
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Re: Weird to have baby shower/ housewarming party ?

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  • RSB1982RSB1982 member
    I think its all about how you present the idea to your guests.  What will the invite say?  Some of the guests may be a bit confused, like should they buy a housewarming gift and baby gift or just one of the two?  I don't think its a terrible idea, and I can definitely empathize with your situation since we too live a good ways from family/friends.  In general, throwing your own shower gets bad reviews from the Bump based on what I've seen around here and its not something I would do.  But in a laid back friend circle, I see no problem with it.    
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  • ammnam14ammnam14 member
    I'd much rather do this than attend two different events. I like the idea of Huggies and chuggies that a pp mentioned. If it will be accepted in your social circle I say go for it! :)
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  • yankeebabemeyankeebabeme member
    We just bought our first house as well. I would decide if you would rather have house items or baby items. Men are going to a nearby bar during shower and anyone who wants to come over after is invited. We wanted that part to have a more casual feel.
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  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    Agree that it depends on how you frame it. I'd personally feel less comfortable buying baby stuff for a "stranger" than I would a housewarming gift.

    A housewarming gift can be a bit more generic: bottle of wine, homemade goods, etc., while a baby shower gift requires a little more thought and is usually pricier.
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    It's a matter of perspective honestly. How would you present it and are you doing any sort of registry or is it just a diaper party? 
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  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    People register for housewarming gifts? Mind blown.
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  • MyCousinVinnyMyCousinVinny member
    lauren812lauren said:
    My husband and I just bought a new house and honestly I don't have a lot of people to invite to my baby shower, lots of family/friends don't live in the area. Is it weird if we combine the two (housewarming we were going to do anyway just for fun) and make it super casual or does it look funny and like we're fishing for gifts? That way my husbands friends and wives could come too, instead of the typical "women only" thing at baby showers. Opinions?
    To answer your question, yes it's weird and yes it would look like you're fishing for gifts (using your own words).
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    satindawl83 said:
    People register for housewarming gifts? Mind blown.
    I have learned that there is a registry for everything. So I figured I'd ask OP before making an assumption.
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    MyCousinVinny said:
    lauren812lauren said:
    My husband and I just bought a new house and honestly I don't have a lot of people to invite to my baby shower, lots of family/friends don't live in the area. Is it weird if we combine the two (housewarming we were going to do anyway just for fun) and make it super casual or does it look funny and like we're fishing for gifts? That way my husbands friends and wives could come too, instead of the typical "women only" thing at baby showers. Opinions?
    To answer your question, yes it's weird and yes it would look like you're fishing for gifts (using your own words).
    Isn't that a matter of perspective though? If she had the events separately, wouldn't that also look like she is fishing for gifts? Are you suggesting she does one and not the other? What alternative solution do you suggest? 
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  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    edited September 2015
    ChiccoBeanz said:


    satindawl83 said:

    People register for housewarming gifts? Mind blown.

    I have learned that there is a registry for everything. So I figured I'd ask OP before making an assumption.

    -----

    Idk how I feel about that. Just because you can register for something, doesn't mean you should. Retailer are in the business of making money any way they can.

    When I think housewarming, I think small gifts like a wine or a gift basket unless it's a really close friend. Even then it would be a houseware that I'd think they'd like.

    OP: I guess I'm picturing you inviting your neighbors since you mentioned not having family and friends in the area and in that case, I would say no for the joint idea. If their close friends of your husband, then the joint idea may work. I just personally wouldn't register.
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    @satindawl83 I've never had a housewarming party personally, but I understand your sentiments.
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  • hplunkett2883hplunkett2883 member
    edited September 2015
    ChiccoBeanz said:


    MyCousinVinny said:


    lauren812lauren said:

    My husband and I just bought a new house and honestly I don't have a lot of people to invite to my baby shower, lots of family/friends don't live in the area. Is it weird if we combine the two (housewarming we were going to do anyway just for fun) and make it super casual or does it look funny and like we're fishing for gifts? That way my husbands friends and wives could come too, instead of the typical "women only" thing at baby showers. Opinions?

    To answer your question, yes it's weird and yes it would look like you're fishing for gifts (using your own words).

    Isn't that a matter of perspective though? If she had the events separately, wouldn't that also look like she is fishing for gifts? Are you suggesting she does one and not the other? What alternative solution do you suggest? 

    ***QUOTE FAIL***

    I'm curious to know this as well? Or do you also not throw your own house warming party? How would someone go about doing both that would be etiquette squad approved? If someone were willing to host and combine both for her is that still gift grabby? How would it be different if they were separate?
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  • lauren812laurenlauren812lauren member
    The Huggies and Chuggies idea is so cute! I have a regular baby registry, so that's not a problem. My mom is technically the one throwing the shower for me, but since we don't have enough people to come to a regular shower at say, a restaurant, we thought maybe just do this all in one shot so it's not an awkward time with 11 people at my shower.
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  • stephaniearthursstephaniearthurs member
    lauren812lauren said:

    The Huggies and Chuggies idea is so cute! I have a regular baby registry, so that's not a problem. My mom is technically the one throwing the shower for me, but since we don't have enough people to come to a regular shower at say, a restaurant, we thought maybe just do this all in one shot so it's not an awkward time with 11 people at my shower.

    Although I think combining the two is fine and could be a lot of fun, I just wanted to say that I had 10 people at my shower (including myself) and we had a blast.

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  • hplunkett2883hplunkett2883 member
    MyCousinVinny said:

    To begin with, a housewarming party isn't a gift giving event, although many people do choose to bring one. Its purpose is to welcome friends and loved ones into your new home, provide them food and beverage, and have them 'warm' your new home with well wishes and congratulations.

    Since a baby shower is a gift giving event, to combine the two parties into one would sort of make both a gift giving party and possibly give guests the impression that they should bring two gifts for two separate celebrations.

    Of course, no one has to bring a housewarming gift but if they didn't plan to for just that alone, now they might feel obligated to do so.

    Plus, combining the two would mean she's hosting her own baby shower, which is an etiquette no-no.

    I think, in my opinion, that if OP wants to host a housewarming party, she should go for it. If people are aware that they may not see her again prior to her having the baby, they may opt to bring a gift for her/the baby.

    Thank you. That makes sense.
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    @mycousinvinny thanks for the response and the clarity.
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  • kmkaull2kmkaull2 member
    I agree with PP. You can host your own housewarming party but not your own baby shower. I would not combine.
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  • CmagnoCmagno member
    Would you do shower games and open baby gifts? That would feel a bit weird to me if I was attending a house warming. I don't think it's gift grabby but might end up overwhelming and confusing for you.

    I'd do a small shower with your friends (small showers are the best!) and enjoy a laid back house warming separately.
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  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    I agree that 11 is plenty for a stand alone shower!
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  • lovearoolovearoo member
    Dude. So let me get this straight. You want to combine the 2 events so you have more people correct? 11 people is PLENTY. Exactly how many gifts are you wanting?? And yes, baby shower and housewarming are very different events so people would feel like they need to bring 2 gifts. You hoping for 30-40 housewarming and baby shower gifts?? If not, don't combine.
    In short, yes it's tacky and gift grabby. 11 people is plenty and way more than I had at my bridal shower.... [-(
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    To clarify, when I mentioned combining them as not a big deal, that was only if it would be the same people for both events, anyway. Not two entirely separate set of people coming to one thing. That would be weird.

    Jamie


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  • lauren812laurenlauren812lauren member
    Relaxxxxx, it was just a thought! Like I said, my mother is technically throwing the shower(s) for me, and I'm sorry for not mentioning this until now but my husband and I were absolutely going to tell people to not bring a housewarming gift, just please come to see and enjoy our new home. I'm not concerned about how many gifts I get at all! I just want everyone to have a fun time
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  • lauren812laurenlauren812lauren member
    And no, I was not planning on games or anything like that, no opening presents either. My cousin had a bridal shower where everyone was asked to bring their gifts unwrapped and they just had them on a table so everyone could ooh and ahh when they had a chance to look at them, so that the rest of the time could be spent just hanging around and eating and socializing. That's kind of the laid back vibe I wanted to go for.
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    So I'm confused. Would this joint event be for one group of people or are you joining events to have more than 11 people? I thought you didn't know to many people so you didn't want to have two separate events. Idk your circle, so maybe this is acceptable, but I think you should leave your shower to your mom and you can do your own house warming event separately. Now it just seems confusing with a lot going on.
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  • Lolo427Lolo427 member
    edited September 2015
    *dirty lurker from N15 here* Well, this is a self made conundrum. At the end of the day combining these two events just for the sake of more people is pretty odd. I had a whopping 11 people at my family baby shower including my husband,dad, and FIL and it was fine; If anything, I appreciated how low key and quiet it was. If the initial concern was being gift grabby then when boiled down I absolutely would not go this route. You're inviting people who really have no sake in being there just for a numbers value. The party bluntly summarized: ' Hey we're having a house warming party, but don't worry about a gift because we're so excited to share this with you bbbuttttttt we're also celebrating our baby and here's the registry for that. Not sure if we're close enough for you to have a stake in our new child, but some people here do and are just so you know.So you probably want to buy us something so you don't feel like a jerk face. You know what too, don't even worry about wrapping it because we're not going to delegate time to individually acknowledge those who contributed to said new baby.' No matter how you wrap it on an invite, when handing it to acquaintances, co workers, or male friends who would bring SOs, this is what it is. Food for thought...

    edit:tired.
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  • lauren812laurenlauren812lauren member
    edited September 2015
    Yikes, y'all! Thanks for the support, but can't we all just tone down how fiesty we get? We are al experiencing something so wonderful and miraculous with our pregnancies! Let's just try and have a relaxing convo with some insight for a fellow expecting mother... I know we are all stressed but try and have some fun!
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  • lakesideknitterlakesideknitter member
    lauren812lauren said:

    Yikes, y'all! Thanks for the support, but can't we all just tone down how fiesty we get? We are al experiencing something so wonderful and miraculous with our pregnancies! Let's just try and have a relaxing convo with some insight for a fellow expecting mother... I know we are all stressed but try and have some fun!

    Unfortunately, you don't get to dictate how people respond when you ask for opinions on the internet. Honestly, everyone stayed very civil on this thread.
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  • JulybirdJulybird member
    I am actually doing this myself! We are about to start planning it. It's a "hey we're having a baby and would love for you to come celebrate with us in our new place ". Very relaxed, co-ed, only close friends and family, no games, no presents expected, especially house warming gifts. So obviously I think your idea is great!
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    lauren812lauren said:
    Yikes, y'all! Thanks for the support, but can't we all just tone down how fiesty we get? We are al experiencing something so wonderful and miraculous with our pregnancies! Let's just try and have a relaxing convo with some insight for a fellow expecting mother... I know we are all stressed but try and have some fun!
    Huh? Who is fiesty? Unless someone said this was "tacky" or that you and your circle were "Tacky" or something like that, I'd say this thread was pretty tame. I strongly suggest not taking these written words with tone. That can lead to your being offended and that may not have been the poster's intent. Hopefully that helps de-escalate whatever you felt was escalating... but you got a good amount of varying opinions. Good luck!
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