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December 2015 Moms
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STMs: Doulas - Unnecessary Splurge or Must-Have?

satindawl83satindawl83 member
in December 2015 Moms
I'm a FTM and strongly considering a doula because of all the horror stories I hear about doctors wanting to do anything to get the baby out before tee time. This may be just media fodder, but I'm worried that the doc may try to talk me into something I don't want to do, in the essence of getting things done quickly.

When I mention this to most people, explain that doulas are for emotional support and patient advocacy, they say that a doctor can't make you do anything you don't want to do, and that my husband will be there . But if that's the case, why do women hire doulas? I think I'm a pretty strong-willed woman, but does that go down the drain in the delivery room? I would hate to think I'm paying $1,000 just for someone to provide emotional support.

Would love to hear feedback from those who have hired doulas in he past or know someone who has.
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Re: STMs: Doulas - Unnecessary Splurge or Must-Have?

  • spottedgingerspottedginger member
    My SIL had a doula for each of her two births. She didn't do it because she was scared of doctors and tee times (which is a bit dramatic), but to support her in birth. Both she and my brother have said that it is the best money they ever spent. She did encourage me to interview several doulas to make sure that personalities mesh and that the doula is one who will support whatever decisions you and your husband make rather than arriving with her vision of what should happen and imposing it.
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  • ACarter0914ACarter0914 member
    Yes Doula! They are an amazing resource. I had one with my first and plan on it this time around
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  • HoldmommaHoldmomma member
    I had a wonderful L&D nurse who stayed in my room with me through the whole birth. She coached my husband helping him know what kinds of things would be helpful to me throughout the stages of labor, and checked with me many times to be sure they were respectful of my birth plan. She was also my defensive line when guests wanted to visit me and I wasn't up to having visitors yet. Because most of what she did was the norm in this hospital I didn't feel like I needed a doula.

    FWIW- the maternity wing in my hospital was extremely busy the day I gave birth. I found out after the fact there were 12 births that night and they had to call in another OB. Even so, I never felt rushed.
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  • kaitykinskaitykins member
    Doulas have been shown to reduce the risk of c-section significantly. They offer emotional support and advocacy in that they can help explain things. They don't make choices for you. They do have a lot of ideas and wisdom about helping labor progress and keeping mama comfortable. I am a FTM too but have family that are doulas. (Unfortunately not in my state). I really value what they bring to the table.
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  • Mags128Mags128 member
    I think it all depends on the person. I really like our diaper genie and baby bathtub and will be using again. We actually ended up with 3 strollers. The one that came with the car seat, a cheap umbrella and a nice jogging stroller. Umbrella is nice when we know there won't be a lot of space and the jogging is great because it works better on rough surfaces.

    Something I really didn't use was the bumbo. DDs legs were chubby so by the time she could sit in it her legs didn't fit. We used it once.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker}
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  • missphilmissphil member
    Great info here- i will add that a doula will also guide your SO to feel included and proactive in your labor. They will pretty much take care of business so you can focus on you. She will kick people out of the room for you, massage you, get you food and drinks, and remind everyone of your birth plan. Depending on the doula, she may also help with breastfeeding and see your baby a few weeks after birth. She might also labor with you at home so you don't have to go to the hospital right away.

    Doulas are also a huge resource of information. She may help you find birthing classes, a pediatrician, a placenta encapsulator, etc etc.
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    edited September 2015
    Unnecesary.

    Jamie


    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers


     Lilypie First Birthday tickers

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  • RLY725RLY725 member
    My hospital has a volunteer doula service and I am really excited about it! With my daughters delivery everything happened so fast that it would have been nice to have someone to advocate for me because even though the nurses knew what I wanted they went more on protocol and were quick to call doctors in to intervine.
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  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    Thanks for the perspectives, ladies. I'm still on the fence and definitely have some more food for thought.

    @Holdmomma, your comment got me thinking. I'm giving birth at a stand-alone women's hospital which specializes in childbirth, so I may have the support I'm looking for built in.

    But on the other hand they also have a higher than average c-section rate, which they attribute to the number of high risks birth they handle, but still make me a bit nervous.

    Decisions decisions.
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  • HoldmommaHoldmomma member
    @satindawl83 Mine too had a higher than average c-section rate which surprised me since they are known as the "crunchy/granola" maternity hospital in the area. They attributed it to the fact that they have a NICU so handle more high risk births.
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  • terimcmackinterimcmackin member
    I am a FTM and I have a doula. Mind you, she is doing it volunteer because I am only her 3rd and she wants the experience. She also happens to be a friend. I take comfort that she can manage the people in and out of my room and allow hubby and I to just be instead of him running all the errands and such. I am also not a shy person and would allow anyone doing training to be in the room with me. I think the education and experience are important. We have met a couple times and she asks me questions about my plan that I had never considered. I found it very helpful :). It is your choice of course.
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  • NycbkNycbk member
    My friend LOVED her doula!!! She said she not only helped with the whole birthing process but also came over when she was having trouble with breast feeding and really helped her through the whole process. I am using a midwives so I feel they will be able to be a big advocate for me but my hospital does have a day of doula service that is $100. After speaking about it with my friend she doesn't think I will need it since i will have midwives. But you may want to check with your hospital to see if they already have a doula service they work with. And if not try to get one that will help with the breast feeding if you need it. She said it was a lifesaver! Good luck. xo
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  • LMJLLMJL member
    If I had more $ I'd probably get a doula, but as it is, I think I'd rather spend that $ on Cord blood banking,(if we choose to, still on the fence there,) or something else for baby. I will have my Mom in the room as well as my husband. She was a nurse & had 7 children herself, so not a doula, but pretty experienced with birth. She will know my wishes & advocate for them, but I also trust her to be able to tell me when I need to let go of them & get the section. I was worried about this as well. I'll get a section if I need on, but I don't want one just b/c it's convenient. I don't exactly trust all of the OBs at my practice. I also am strong willed, but when I can panic when I need to make decisions in a pinch, plus I'll be in pain, or drugged & I LOVE my husband, but sometimes he can be very unhelpful at making decisions. It's often, "whatever you want to do babe. It's up to you." Which is very sweet & progressive male of him, but sometimes I need to explain to him that I can't make this decision alone, he needs to help me & I don't know that I'll be able to do that in labor. :) I also think my mom will be good at keeping me calm & occupied, as well as the comforting things, like pillows & ice chips, massages, etc.

    Maybe you have an option like this that you hadn't considered? A mom or relative, or a friend who's been there & done that & could be another support person?
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  • maiatenemaiatene member
    I think it depends on your doctor and your hospital. I didn't have one but my doctor was super supportive of me and my preferences. We spoke about everything pregnancy and birth related so I knew where she stood from the beginning, and vice versa. I think if your relationship with your doctor is good and you educated yourself with the various aspects of pregnancy/the birthing process you should be ok. It also depends on where you are delivering and their policies - I was at a teaching hospital that had a low c-section rate so I felt i was in good hands.

    However, to your point some hospitals and doctors are very pro-intervention but I think you would know that before you made it to the delivery room and probably change practices. Getting a doula at that point may not be advantageous because the doctor is set in their ways and really don't care who says what in the heat of the moment.

    Also keep in mind some hospitals may not allow doulas in the room so be sure of your hospital/birthing centers policy.

    Keep researching so you could be confident in your decision :-)
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  • WallisimpsonWallisimpson member
    I'm all for a shorter labour and fewer complications and signed up my doula a few months ago! She has already saved us almost the equivalent of her fee in advice. I'm also feeling positive and excited about labour which is great as I am a worrier - and it is thanks to her. So major thumbs up from me!
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  • vanmostudiovanmostudio member
    I got a doula pretty much for the sole purpose of giving my hubby support haha! I knew he'd get freaked out and have lots of questions, and that he wouldn't trust me to answer them truthfully. It turned out my epidural didn't work, so she ended up massaging my back for about five hours straight, and doing pressure point work on me that was amazingly helpful. I'm not sure that I will do it for this birth, but I think it is a pretty cool asset to have for your first one if you can afford it. Of course it is a luxury, not a necessity.
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  • KimlovescatsKimlovescats member
    In Minnesota, they are covered by the public plans for insurance (i.e. Medicaid and MinnesotaCare). They would not be covered if they were not shown to be of benefit and also help keep costs lower for birth, and have less unnecessary interventions.


    I signed up for one and have our first meeting on Saturday. The place I went through I mentioned I would need someone who doesn't have xmas time plans as I am due around then and sure enough, I got a match. 
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  • GalLauraGalLaura member
    I don't think a doula is necessary. I had an emergency c section with my first. At no point did I feel that I was being forced into it. The reason a natural birth usually moves into a c section is if there are complications, the baby is distressed or something is on track with you. The best advice I can give is be open during labor. The baby is in charge here. It will help you accept whatever type of birth you have.
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  • grkgdss00grkgdss00 member
    I would love a doula, but finding it VERY hard to find one around my due date of 12/28. Most are out of town or have family committments for the holidays. Sucks!
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  • laurabwalkerlaurabwalker member
    I don't necessarily think of a doula as an advocate, but more as a person who is soley focused on you and helping you get through the birth, having different ideas and things (such as tens machines) for pain relief. Your partner is also focused on you of course, but it is a big moment for them as well. The nurse, midwife and/or Dr is focused on safely delivering baby, and making sure you are also healthy. This is all just my personal opinion! I have a doula and am happy to know I'll have some extra support. My mom would be good as well but I think I would like her for after the birth for support (and not have her exhausted from the birth).
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