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Baby shower bluesss with second preg.

TangelyyTangelyy member
in January 2016 Moms
Soo! My bf convinced me that we wouldn't need a baby shower with our second. I agreed since my family helped us so so much with our first. We were so greatful. He feels baby showers are for hand outs and ok I get it gifts gifts gifts! Buut I see it as a celebration just like anything else in life. But he disagreed he said anyone who is going to help us will help - baby shower, no baby shower. And now I have 3 more months to go I wish I wouldn't have said anything to my family about not having one. I would like a little celebration.
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Re: Baby shower bluesss with second preg.

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  • Leah6120Leah6120 member
    You guys could always throw some sort of themed cookout yourselves for friends and family to celebrate this little one and specify no gifts. I agree that a second shower is kindof unnecessary especially if it's the same gender but I also understand your desire to celebrate this little one too. Maybe that could be a good compromise for your bf?
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  • mamaksweezmamaksweez member
    I'm with you OP, I'd love to have a shower for this baby to celebrate, but I know it's super tacky so we are doing a Sip and See after baby is born.
    My dd is only 15mo old so we have to buy a second crib, etc. and this one's a boy so we have to buy basically everything again anyway, but us not buying gender neutral stuff and planning to have kids close together doesn't mean other people should have to buy us stuff. (And like @UptownPearl said people who would buy us things will with or without a shower.)
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  • BarrettJ89BarrettJ89 member
    mamaksweez said:


    My dd is only 15mo old so we have to buy a second crib, etc. and this one's a boy so we have to buy basically everything again anyway, but us not buying gender neutral stuff and planning to have kids close together doesn't mean other people should have to buy us stuff. (And like @UptownPearl said people who would buy us things will with or without a shower.)

    We're in a similar boat. My son is only 9 months old. Everyone was extremely gracious with the gift giving and I couldn't possibly expect anyone to give us more. Of course, now we're having a girl and have to buy everything all over again.
    We went ahead and did a couple of registries (which got me really excited about baby), but more to keep track of what we need, to get the free goodie bags and coupons/completion codes, and to give out specifically if someone asks...

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  • QueenCarlissaQueenCarlissa member
    I agree with the bf on the fact they will help if they want to baby shower or not.
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  • saraawlbrsaraawlbr member
    This is exactly why I registered mainly for gender neutral items. Aside from clothes of course. I would never dream of having a second shower for my second baby as it definitely comes across as a gift grab. A sip and see would be a good compromise. DH and I did a gender reveal with just our families a few weeks ago - our first baby - and family came with small gifts despite being told this was a party we wanted to throw for them to celebrate a new family member. If people want to give, they will. Regardless of "no gift" instructions.

    Congrats on your new little one!!

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  • LljbeanLljbean member
    edited September 2015
    image
    Me:28 DH:35
    Married: 7.23.11
    DD:10.17.12
    EDD #2!:1.17.16 







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  • TangelyyTangelyy member
    Thanks ladies, I feel a much better now about it.
    The "sip and see" sounds like a plan. We did that for our dd four years back with close family members.
    No one really held her she was sleeping most of the time or nursing lol
    I actually wanted to throw my own shower so I can decorate and do all these things but my bf said save it all for the first bday party lol

    Luckily we had some neutral items like the high chair and the stroller and of course we gave our car seat to babies r us. Lol Babygirl did not want to show us during the ultra sound visits so she was a nice little surprise! And planning my registry was not fun at all. So now I get to buy all boy things. Which seems to be soooo hard!! But I'll still set up a registry to receive the discounts at the end.
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  • TangelyyTangelyy member
    My mom did host my "sip and see" it was her idea. She was a very excited new grandmother. :)
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  • kelseyg002kelseyg002 member
    Oh just do a diaper party. That's what my family does for the consecutive kids. Just bring diapers or wipes and enjoy family and BBQ. My SIL is having a family bonfire with drinks/food/and smores for the guests since it will be fall time. No big decor or different gifts(or even invitations ) just call or fb family and say hey.
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  • MyCousinVinnyMyCousinVinny member
    edited September 2015
    kelseyg002 said:
    Oh just do a diaper party. That's what my family does for the consecutive kids. Just bring diapers or wipes and enjoy family and BBQ. My SIL is having a family bonfire with drinks/food/and smores for the guests since it will be fall time. No big decor or different gifts(or even invitations ) just call or fb family and say hey.
    To the bolded...

    imageimage
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  • Krisdee123Krisdee123 member
    image
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  • MyCousinVinnyMyCousinVinny member
    Diaper parties are rude.  

    Tis so.
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  • MyCousinVinnyMyCousinVinny member
    OP, would you be open to hosting a BBQ at your home?  That could be a great way to get together with family and friends if you're just wanting to have a party.  
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  • apinkpelicanapinkpelican member
    @ntyravgsp hahaha love Kelly
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  • mg137mg137 member
    edited September 2015
    Now that I'm getting bigger, I'm kinda missing the baby shower thing from last time. I loved being doted on, having everyone touch and smile at my tummy, and opening adorably wrapped gift boxes containing even more adorable gifts. But, alas, much like sweet 16s, bridal showers, and funerals, there are some occasions for which we only get party and one showering of gifts. Friends and family simply aren't responsible for sitting through obnoxious games, gushing about how cute we are, and intricately wrapping expensive baby gifts more than once.

    ETA: gifts at a funeral? I think my analogy fell a little short.
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  • andreachristine81andreachristine81 member
    I am in my thirties and most of my girlfriends have two kids... Not one of my close friends has had a second baby shower... I personally find it to be super tacky.
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  • EastoncjrEastoncjr member
    My sister is going to do a little sprinkle for me closer to my due date since this ones a girl and our first was a boy but just something super low key. Our family is in for any excuse to hang out and eat food lol.
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  • 023507023507 member
    I am hoping to have a shower. My son is 9 and I am expecting twins.. I hate showers though. I feel like I am asking for things and that is something I do not do.. Ask for anything. I also think 2nd showers are tacky but in this case I think it may be acceptable and if someone wants to take it to task then so be it. I frankly don't have the energy to fight it!
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  • Beverlykuykendall22Beverlykuykendall22 member
    edited September 2015
    You should tell a family member or friends that you would like a baby shower. Do not let your Bf's pride get in the way! He can't decide that for you. (if this is y'all's 2nd child, why is he only your Bf ? Shouldn't he put a ring on it?)
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  • SOON2BMRSPORTERSOON2BMRSPORTER member
    Why are diaper parties rude? I think they are such an amazing idea....just curious...
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  • Knottie1452445632Knottie1452445632 member
    edited September 2015
    Hi i say go for it. I am British and live in the UK (thought I'd clear that one up lol) so .. The American "traditions" on this one are only just coming over to the UK. And it appears in the UK that baby showers have been interpreted here for any baby (whether 1st or 12th) but it's way less about getting gifts and more about celebrating the pregnancy and having fun and games for the mum to be. And you know what ... I like this stance. Baby showers in the UK weren't about when I had my 1st two. When we had our 3rd MIL insisted on throwing us one and after a while I reluctantly agreed but put conditions on it (no gift - I was just too embarrassed by the "you should by me a gift" thing) and it had to be low key. Bless her she stuck to my wishes. But most the guest didn't listen and bought small gifts of clothes and baby toys but nothing major. I was grateful (although embarrassed) for the presents for baby and had a good time. But all the gifts were the only gifts I got for baby from each of them, what I mean is there was no other gift after baby was born too - which is a good thing. So they were just giving baby their gift early.

    This time round I've asked MIL if I im having another shower. Since it was so much fun. She jumped at the idea. But again I will be having the same conditions of no gifts etc. I love the idea of having some fun time to take stock of this pregnancy and what better way to celebrate than with friends tea and cake. :) Yum Yum.
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  • bspletzerbspletzer member
    I had decided not to have a second baby shower since i will be having another girl but when i told my family they were really upset and have decided to plan one anyways. There are 5 years between my girls so its not like it was just a little while ago. I saved everything so our shower will be very small i told my mothers only close family and maybe a few friends. And no big presents just small things or diapers. So i agree they are tracky for the second but sometimes when u have a pushy family like mine it will happen with or without ne! Lol
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  • MrsReese28MrsReese28 member
    My sister in law had a second shower even though her son was only just 2 when her daughter will be born. Her attitude was literally "But it's a girl and I need more stuff." It was an over-the-top extravagant experience. It created so much resentment that I seriously think it has damaged some of her friendships long-term. However if you want to do something low key then that would be easier to swallow and you can even state "no gifts."  The bottom line is that people will get you something if they want to.
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  • korinodkorinod member
    Second shower is a Serious faux pas!
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