Community› The Bump Message Boards› 3rd Trimester
3rd Trimester
New Discussion

28 weeks and pain all over

rph2010rph2010 member
in 3rd Trimester
Hi mommies,
So I was doing quite well in my pregnancy up until 25 weeks. Since then there have been a few challenges here and there, but this week it seems like my body is just breaking down on me. Literally everything hurts! I have multiple aches and pains and by the time I finally get home from work I'm done. Just now I almost screamed out loud getting into bed from all the aches. On top of everything, I caught a cold and have been coughing like crazy and that just seems to make everything even worse. Just need some support. I know I have to get through this eventually but right now all I can think is wtf did I get pregnant? I was so much happier and healthier before. I really hope this baby is worth it. Has anyone else felt this way?
Report Reply to Post

Re: 28 weeks and pain all over

  • Loading the player...
  • eamarateamarat member
    izsmz101 said:

    First off, she is here for support. Not you telling her what she should and shouldn't say. She is asking if anybody has ever felt this way and it's very obvious you never have so there is no possible way you can relate to her feelings and emotions at this time and to berate them is the most unsupportive thing you could possibly do. Secondly, there are women out there who are in constant pain during pregnancy and depression creeps in. You basically told her to stop whining and get over it. Yes pregnancy is a miracle but sometimes miracles can make us second guess ourselves, our bodies, and our decisions in life. So please, stay off support forums unless you are actually going to support those going through a rougher time than you. 

    "You basically told her to stop whining and get over it."

    Actually, they didn't. They both answered her question and gave advice, she asked if anyone else has felt this way they said "no" that they haven't, it's a vaild answer.

    We all understand the aches and pains and just anticipating for the EDD to come around by a certain point (some women more than others) but most of us here are sensitive to the fact that we shouldn't say things aloud like "is my baby worth it" when there are so many women on here (and elsewhere) that struggle to get a LO to stick.

    So, no. They were not wrong, you were wrong for telling them to keep their "unsupportive" answers to themselves when they were only answering a question that they had a right to be a little offended by.

    Had OP said "ugh, everything sucks. Who's ready for their due date to be here" she would have gotten a completely different reaction and many rounds of support.


    To OP: so yeah, early on in the pregnancy I was in a very bad headspace and was considering not having him. He wasn't planned, I wasn't ready, my DH and I had only been married a month, I didn't want kids right now, blah blah. But I came to the realization that he's mine and I am so very lucky to have this chance. I get aches and random pains and my feet won't fit in my favorite shoes and my body has a broken thermostat but it's temporary and it's for my kid. So it is worth it. Does that mean I am not done? Hell no. Bring on November.

    Though I do ask if you begin to feel like there just isn't any hope in this or continue to feel like maybe baby won't be worth it, please look into some sort of counseling as you could be suffering from depression without even knowing it. And there's never any shame in getting the help you need.
    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    rph2010 said:
    Hi mommies, So I was doing quite well in my pregnancy up until 25 weeks. Since then there have been a few challenges here and there, but this week it seems like my body is just breaking down on me. Literally everything hurts! I have multiple aches and pains and by the time I finally get home from work I'm done. Just now I almost screamed out loud getting into bed from all the aches. On top of everything, I caught a cold and have been coughing like crazy and that just seems to make everything even worse. Just need some support. I know I have to get through this eventually but right now all I can think is wtf did I get pregnant? I was so much happier and healthier before. I really hope this baby is worth it. Has anyone else felt this way?
    Yes, its common. Post partum is worse. I literally have felt like I'm falling apart since DD was born. Hang in there.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    izsmz101 said:
    First off, she is here for support. Not you telling her what she should and shouldn't say. She is asking if anybody has ever felt this way and it's very obvious you never have so there is no possible way you can relate to her feelings and emotions at this time and to berate them is the most unsupportive thing you could possibly do. Secondly, there are women out there who are in constant pain during pregnancy and depression creeps in. You basically told her to stop whining and get over it. Yes pregnancy is a miracle but sometimes miracles can make us second guess ourselves, our bodies, and our decisions in life. So please, stay off support forums unless you are actually going to support those going through a rougher time than you. 

    izsmz101 : Wow yikes. Hold on there. I didn't see anyone telling her to get over it. I saw them relating that this experience is common. These forums are for entertainment-- full stop. The support we end up getting is a by-product of getting to know ladies very well over the course of TTGP, pregnancy and parenting. However, the primary objective is entertainment. Its really really disrespectful to tell any poster what to do or where to post. I mean, shoot, I'm not even pregnant and I post where I want on the tri-boards. Are you going to tell me that because I'm not currently pregnant that I don't have valuable information to offer?

    I have lower lumbar fractures and a documented pain condition. Pain is like my BFF since I was 15. I support folks that support others. There is no need to finger-wag at adults. C'mon now, if you want to build a supportive, respectful community this is not the way to do it. Please reconsider your tone.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member

    To answer OP in more depth: I haven't had the thought of "hope this baby is worth it". That type of sentiment can be a very sensitive one for those lurking (public community, remember?). Its ok that you have this thought because your feelings are just as legitimate. Its just that those wishing for a baby feel like they could never say a thing like that. Its ok. These folks aren't in the same place as you, but their feelings are valid.

    So, third trimester is really really rough head into the finish line. I've been there twice. I had thoughts of "omg I'm so done and I want this baby out!" at 41 weeks gestation. I was huge, in pain and feeling like an emotional wreck. I feel for you. If you feel like you are questioning parenthood in a serious way-- PP are right that it could be a sign of antenatal depression and if the thoughts are persistent, its wise to tell your OB. They can watch you for Post-Partum Depression (PPD). I'm not saying this to guilt trip you or otherwise paint your passing thought (if its passing) as a horrible thing. Its just that pressing, intrusive thoughts can really be a bane on you with a newborn (later).

    I see PP's response as simply looking out for you from one pregnant woman to another.


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • urby87urby87 member
    edited September 2015
    We were lucky enough to conceive without issue (actually a bit earlier than we planned because we thought it would take a few months), and I have always been convinced that it will be 100 percent worth it in the end.  Pregnancy is hard.  I knew that going into the game.  In the early months, when I could barely eat and all I wanted to do was sleep...  Worth it.  Second tri headaches...  Worth it.  Six weeks to go, feeling achey and heartburn-y and having body image issues...  Still worth it.
    Report Reply
  • chloeclobochloeclobo member
    I had a really bad cold and it made EVERYTHING seem so much worse I was emotional tired achy and scared that I was going to feel that down and depressed for the next 11 weeks of pregnancy! But since I've been feeling better I've slept better and my mind is in a much better place. No one understands unless they have felt that way and you can't see how you'll ever feel good again but you really will. When baby is here all those feelings will be a distant memory anyway. Good luck xx
    Report Reply
  • modanz1modanz1 member
    I hit a rough patch around 28 weeks too. Everything hurt and I couldn't see how I was going to handle it for another 12 weeks.  Here I am at almost 34 weeks and the pain hasn't gotten any worse.  I actually figured out some ways to make it better.   No, I never wondered if the baby was worth it.  I was told I could never conceive, so no amount of pain would have made me wonder that...I just feel too blessed.  I can't say I haven't complained about it though, mostly to my husband or making a joke about feeling like I've been donkey kicked in the crotch.  Pregnancy sucks for a lot of people (physically), others love it...you just have to play the cards you are dealt.
    YCSWU 



    Report Reply
  • thegingeravengerthegingeravenger member
    izsmz101 said:

    First off, she is here for support. Not you telling her what she should and shouldn't say. She is asking if anybody has ever felt this way and it's very obvious you never have so there is no possible way you can relate to her feelings and emotions at this time and to berate them is the most unsupportive thing you could possibly do. Secondly, there are women out there who are in constant pain during pregnancy and depression creeps in. You basically told her to stop whining and get over it. Yes pregnancy is a miracle but sometimes miracles can make us second guess ourselves, our bodies, and our decisions in life. So please, stay off support forums unless you are actually going to support those going through a rougher time than you. 

    Lord forbid I point out that OP said something thoughtless that could really hurt someone. I wasn't being condescending, I was trying to be helpful to the members of our community on here that have experienced loss. I didn't say she shouldn't feel this way, but what happens if anyone says something hurtful like this and one of the people nearby (like a friend) happens to have had a recent miscarriage that they kept private? There's a way to talk about body parts hurting and depression getting worse (which as a heads up I am experiencing myself so shame on you for assuming otherwise) without saying something hurtful to others.

    OP, since I didn't mention it in my first post - I can hardly wait until my body is my own again. My depression and body issues have gotten worse in recent weeks, my body is falling apart due to previous injuries, my libido is shot, and I can hardly sleep to just name a few things I'm going through. I worry about being a bad mother constantly, but I don't doubt for one second that this journey is worth it. That is what I was trying to get across.
    LFAF October Siggy Challenge                                                                       

    image                                               
    image

    **YCSWU October Siggy Challenge**
    image
    Report Reply
  • flasflas member
    I've been in extreme pain since 16 weeks and even though this is my 3rd pregnancy and it wasn't planned I have never once thought "I hope this baby is worth it". More like I can't wait for November to get here. Those are some pretty big shoes that baby has to fill making sure that they were worth it.
    Report Reply
  • kittyberetkittyberet member
    As someone who has had a bumpy road to conception, 3 years TTC including 2 losses I have never once thought "this kid better be worth it". I'm pregnant with twins and I have a toddler (things got easier on our TTC journey). You are sure to be disappointed if you expect things to get easier once they are in the outside, that's really when thing go a little sideways, and toddlers are kind of jerks honestly.

    Have I thought ouch my crotch this sucks, wish I could have a beer, Is it November yet etc. absolutely. Carrying twins is not easy, nor was the almost 11 pound child before that but it was worth it. I'd advice you to do some soul searching and get a realistic idea of what parenting is like so you are prepared for what is to come (as much as you can prepare for being hit by a Mack truck). I think you need to get your IRL support system up and running right now.
    Report Reply
  • lalg28lalg28 member
    This may sound crazy but there is actually something called viral arthritis. You mentioned a cold and all over pain, it's possible whatever virus you had triggered some arthritis symptoms.
    Report Reply
  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    I have thought several times "it's a good thing my baby will be worth it". I've never wondered if he would be, I know my son will be worth a million pregnancies and births, I don't doubt it.
    I also can't wait until December when he is on the outside and I hopefully won't be so achy or have such awful heartburn. I'm also planning on my first night out post pregnancy in March. Until then, I will be happy to endure all the aches and pains, the bladder and vag kicks until my little man is here hopefully full term and healthy.
    Report Reply
  • kabnpaujkabnpauj member
    It took me a long time to get pregnant, and even though I was dead sick in my 1st trimester, and now at 36w with insomnia, peeing 10+ time a night, hip pain, I know it'll all be worth it in the end. I tell myself this is temporary for a baby that will make me happy forever. As sick as I was, I never thought that this baby better be worth it.
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"