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September 2015 Moms
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Feeling so alone.. need support and love

sokomosokomo member
in September 2015 Moms
My baby girl was born last Monday (Sept. 14), and I love her to pieces but I'm struggling to cope with everything. My mom was supposed to come stay with me the first week but she keeps flaking on me and postponing. I'm a FTM and am just feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I've only been out of the house once since the baby was born. Tried going on a short walk around the neighborhood and felt so stressed out the entire time - everything was so loud and bright. Is this normal? Is it normal to want to cry all the time? 

I'm just so disappointed that my mother hasn't stepped up to help me. I feel like things are never going to get better... I'm sad and lonely.

Any advice? 

Thanks xo
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Re: Feeling so alone.. need support and love

  • LoveLee85LoveLee85 member
    I'm so sorry you are having a rough time! I took baby boy to Target at two weeks old and had a mini freak out before we left, thinking about: what if he sobs the whole time?! Poops at the store?! What if I'm driving and he needs me in the back seat?! (I have been in the back next to him and DH drives us everywhere) ugh. I finally just made myself go and everything was great! He slept the whole time. I'm sure emotions everywhere are normal but if your feeling depressed, I would let your doctor know. Mine is more of random panic/anxiety for a few moments. I'm sorry about your mother. Shame on her.

    I'm just trying to do everything in little trips here and there. Good luck and relax!
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  • SarahEmmons330SarahEmmons330 member
    If you are feeling more down than normal you should definitely talk to your dr - they are there to help! Also look into a moms group like MOPS or something similar to get out of the house and get some adult interaction!

    Good luck!
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  • myfingerhurtsmyfingerhurts member
    It get's better! I was extremely weepy the first two weeks, and as a FTM everything was terrifying. I actually wept to my husband that I needed a bubble to put our baby in, but everything has slowly gotten easier.

    Talking to our pediatrician was what helped me the most -- I just made a long list of every question I had (from reflux to taking him out in public) and she was very patient and made me feel so much better. I'm sure your OB would also be super helpful, esp if you think it might be more than the baby blues.

    It sucks your mom isn't stepping up, but you are awesome and capable! You can do this, even though it is scary AF. The nurses when I was at the hospital told me its important to remember that our babies are stronger than they seem. So I also try to remind myself that as well.
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  • sokomosokomo member
    Thank you all so much for the encouragement. It means a lot :)
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  • apetkusapetkus member
    Hang in there! Everything is so new and overwhelming, what you're feeling is totally natural. I feel like I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. One second things are great, the next I'm sobbing into my DH's shoulder. My LO is 5 days old and it's just so hard to know that you're doing everything right. And having people around to "help" can make it even more confusing. But just know, we're all feeling the same way, and just try to soak in the good moments and know that you got this! And maybe try finding a support group on facebook. And stay away from google!
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  • visualcircusvisualcircus member
    ::Hugs:: I'm sorry you are going through this and it is hurtful to have someone you think you can count on not follow through. Can you reach out to other friends and family to drop you a meal, give you a phone call, or help around with things around the house? Sending happy thoughts your way and I'm thinking and praying for you.  
    DS1 - 8-10-2015 LO2 - EDD 4-30-2017
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    I was an emotional wreck my first week! Being sleep-deprived didn't help. My hormones were so out of whack that I would cry at the drop of the hat ... happy tears and overwhelmed tears. It's hard!!! Don't give up; it does get better. I remember feeling so alone, even though I had my husband home to help. No one understands quite what you're going through at the time ... breastfeeding is tough, dealing with your hormones is exhausting, and not getting any sleep makes it even more difficult. I promise it gets better! My little guy is 3.5 weeks now and has been sleeping for 4 hour chunks at night; that has helped my sanity! My hormones are much better and while I still have my days, I feel SO much better than I did the first few weeks.

    I agree with pp ... do what you can for yourself when baby is sleeping. Nap ... take a shower ... go for a walk with baby in the stroller! Feel human again. And a tip: Don't overwhelm yourself with too many visitors right away. We've had visitors or appointments every single day except two since our baby was born. It was exhausting trying to keep the house clean, trying to look presentable, trying to work around baby's feeding schedule, etc., just to have visitors. My husband didn't get it because he welcomed the social interaction, but for me it was so inconvenient! Some days I just want to stay in my PJs, and it's impossible to develop any sort of routine when you're constantly having people stop over. When my husband goes back to work next week, I'm taking a week off from people and visitors and just hanging with baby and dog!
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