Would you change anything?

47923ang · September 2015

If you could go back to the day your LO was born and change anything about what you've done, what would it be?

47923ang · September 2015

I feel pretty good about how we've done things here, and I feel like some of the choices we made randomly really worked out well now.

But a minor thing---I was a little crazy for a week or so, and I was convinced that:
1) my little babies would NEVER grow
2) that it would NEVER get warmer
3) that my babies would ALWAYS dirty 10 outfits per day each.

So I sent my mom and MIL out to buy ALL the preemie long sleeved sleepers they could find. And I washed most of them. And they did wear many of them, but I could've gotten by with half (or less) of what I sent them to buy.

It seemed logical at the time.

rrcameron21 · September 2015

I would have had LO take a pumped bottle once a day so he was used to it.

I would've started him out in the crib.

I would've got newborn pictures done. (I couldn't really avoid this one though because I got really sick and had to cancel them.)

I really enjoyed working through my mistakes as a FTM though. I've learned so much and it's making me such a better mom.

klkonwi · September 2015

I would of asked for/demanded a csection. :-?
I wouldn't of let so many visitors come the first week.
I would of stopped cleaning my house and snuggled more (newborn snuggles are like no other)
Otherwise nothing. :x

virginiaunicorn11 · September 2015

I'd take pain meds in the first week or two PP so I could enjoy things better.

I'd spend a little money making myself more comfortable sooner - body pillow (in second trimester), exercise ball, nursing bras, larger nursing tanks for the first few weeks of engorgement.

I'd use a nipple shield sooner and not let things get so bad with the boobs.

Next time I know to hire a doula (or make sure someone around me actually speaks English!), but it made for a good story this time around.

All this said, I feel very happy and lucky with how things went as a FTM

Sammy K · September 2015

I would have changed my diet sooner. But being a STM, I made all of my "mistakes" with DS.

ChardeeMacDennis · September 2015

I would've eaten a nice big dinner before heading to the hospital. Other than that, like @Sammy K I made all of my mistakes the first time.

HoosOnFirst · September 2015

At the hospital: I would have said no when the hospital asked if they could change over the computer system in my room mid-labor (real thing that happened). I would have asked for a new night nurse.

Once home: I would have started use of a nipple shield and pump earlier. I would have made my OB see me when I had a blood clot instead of him making me wait another week to discover I had a partially retained placenta.

So yeah basically next time I will know to be a stronger advocate for myself!

And I DEFINITELY would have napped more!

janat1717 · September 2015

I'd have gotten an IBCLC out to the house sooner and use a different doula....oh and yes, napped more!!

queequeg09256 · September 2015

Also would of demanded a csection, and a new nurse. I should have flipped out at dh at the very beginning and started using a nipple shield sooner. Probably should have told more friends they can't come visit. Should have done more walks with lo and the pup. Also should have made many more freezer meals that I enjoy instead of stuff for dh.

katyqv · September 2015

Asked for more help instead of trying to do everything myself, always. I'm such a control freak. Also, I wish we would have taken newborn pics of LO. She was 2 weeks early and it was such a whirlwind of a time that I seriously didn't even think about it. If there's a next time, I'll know to plan ahead and book a photographer in advance.

upandbelow · September 2015

I would have told my MIL that she needed to wait a couple of weeks before visiting, and had just my mom up during the first week or two.

lwhrmomma · September 2015

I would have tried a lot harder to nurse my son in the NICU. He was there for 10 days and we only met with a lactation consultant twice, briefly both times. I pumped and we bottle fed him there and I figured we would just magically switch to nursing at home. We tried so hard, but it was just too late by then- he was used to a bottle, had a bad latch, and didn't transfer efficiently. I EP now and am okay with it and am thrilled that I supply enough and don't need to supplement, but I wish we could nurse 100% of the time. I do nurse him in the middle of the night, fortunately- it is comforting for both him and I, but it just doesn't work for him all day long.

aliciaspinnet · September 2015

I would insist on being examined sooner (the midwives kept insisting I wasn't in active labour and didn't do a VE for 12 hours, by which time I'd gone from 2 to 7cm) therefore getting pain relief sooner.

I'd have asked for more help in hospital, and let people know how crappy I felt rather than trying to tough it out.

I'd have taken my time trying to get the latch right rather than rushing through in an attempt to get some sleep- would have saved myself weeks of nipple pain!

dancegurl1118 · September 2015

I would've not ok'ed breaking my water and labored on my own. I would've stopped freaking out that I wasn't progressing fast enough. I would've stopped counting down the days til I went back.

KonaCoffeeBean · September 2015

Less visitors for sure right after the birth. Also, I would've been less concerned about my husband getting sleep in the early days.

beckyk9109 · September 2015

So many things...

I had a terrible labor with my twins. I progressed so quickly and lost so much blood that I passed out right after they were delivered and needed an adrenaline shot. The next day the docs insisted on a blood transfusion which I was stubborn about and declined until day 3 of my stay (I was in rough shape). Definitely should've accepted it sooner as I really don't remember the delivery or anything from the hospital, I was so weak.

I also would've like newborn pics, but with the twins arriving 5 weeks early we were more worried about getting them the attention they needed and getting myself back up to par.

And I would've tried harder to breastfeed. They were so tiny (4lbs7oz and 5lbs14oz) I was just so worried about them eating that pumping and supplementing seemed easier.

It was such a whirlwind trying to care for preemies and not being prepared for their arrival. I know for next time, expect the unexpected!

thay33 · September 2015

I would have asked for another nurse... The nurse I had was so mean and rude (not typically the type of nurse I pictured seeing when woman were in labor) I didn't know you could request another until a friend had informed me. I also would have tried harder with BF... after a 21 hour labor & giving birth at 1am I was really really tired and the nurses would come in with my son asking me if i was sure I wanted to breast feed because "a tired mom isn't a good mom" so I would always say fine & let them formula feed my child most of the time, which I feel caused problems with me producing milk

.

ETA: I also had a fever while giving birth and also after so I really wasn't too well

ksimo6 · September 2015

I would have hidden my beer so as to avoid the lecture from the crabby old nurse. It was my anniversary! I wanted a beer!

bethanne09 · September 2015

I would have gotten the c section earlier, becore LOs heartrate dropped.
I would have insisted the check his biliruben levels that night instead letting "all csecs have some jaundice" be an answer.
I would have taken more pictures.
I would let people visit more instead of letting myself feel depressed. They couldn't hold babe, but they could have lifted my spirits some.

I would thank DH more frequently. He did so much while we were in the hospital for six loonnggg days. He only left when I made him and he brought back treats (or got his mom to) to force me to eat every day. He deserves a million more thank yous.

mindaa · September 2015

Not dismissed DH and left for the hospital a little earlier. I labored for less than an hour there, and while I hadn't wanted to spend a lot of time at the hospital, that was cutting it a little too close! Also would have asked for more help with breastfeeding that first night

mlindzz · September 2015

I would have been less socially appropriate with the nurse who greeted me in triage. She wasn't listening to me when I said the baby was coming (he was born roughly an hour later), and I was far to nice about it.

I wouldn't have rushed home from the hospital & I would have taken more of the PP meds they had prescribed me so I could have been more comfortable.

cbrtncanadian · September 2015

I feel like humans always have something we are wishing was different... There are many things that could have been better including the following but overall I'm thankful for everything that happened just the way it did. If it hadn't gone this way maybe it would be worse and maybe I wouldn't have the same outcome - my amazing little man who has absolutely all of my heart. I may not have been motivated to prove them wrong either and persevere!

For the sake of playing along:

- would have requested a new nurse post delivery she stressed me out and made me feel like she was right. She wasn't right because it wasn't working for us but she said things like "I'm only a nurse you don't have to listen to me and I've consulted the lactation consultant and she agrees with me and my recommendation."

- I would have said to said lactation consultant that the plan isn't working for us and I would like some alternatives instead of saying sure everything is great!

delujm0 · September 2015

I would have left for the hospital at least an hour earlier. I waited until contractions were 3-4 minutes apart bc I figured I'd be more comfortable at home. But my triage nurses were idiots and wouldn't admit me until almost 3 hours after I got there...and I wanted the epidural so bad. I was already 6cm with contraactions 1-2 minutes apart by the time I got it.

ElRuby · September 2015

I wouldn't have let my mom and sister leave before the birth since she came quicker than anyone (including the nurses) thought .... I really wanted a picture of her in the veil because that would have been so cool to show her one day!

I would have paid better attention to my cracked nipples so I didn't end up with an infection and a 3 day hospital stay for mastitis.

I may have pumped more because my supply is turning to dust and I am still on the fence about how i feel about that... Somewhat liberated to be on the brink of having my body back but sad that I can't feed her fully without formula.

cheriep3 · September 2015

I would have told the charge nurse that checked me when we were admitted to get out. She was by far the worst nurse I've ever had and when she checked me, it was worse than labor.
And I would tell everyone to leave way before I started pushing. I was so sick of the room being full of people but I felt rude asking them to leave. Next time, just my mom and DH.

KaLikeAWind · September 2015

The only thing I can think of right now is to have swallowed my pride and supplemented with formula without getting all bent out of shape and depressed about it. So much weight loss. Thinking back to how he looked and how much weight he lost hurts my heart.
I'm sad I can't feed him fully (like @ElRuby ) but now that I've accepted I just don't make enough its much easier on me, mentally and emotionally. I also (like @ElRuby ) worry about drying up and am not sure how I feel about that. Will just have to see what happens and go from there.

virginiaunicorn11 · September 2015

I would have waited several more hours before going to the hospital. I would have gone to bed earlier that whole week of my due date.

That said, as pp said, I have no regrets and I'm happy with how it all turned out. this is more like a "note to self, now you know" for next time.

HayesRN13 · September 2015

mellymar said:
The only thing I can think of right now is to have swallowed my pride and supplemented with formula without getting all bent out of shape and depressed about it. So much weight loss. Thinking back to how he looked and how much weight he lost hurts my heart.
I'm sad I can't feed him fully (like @ElRuby ) but now that I've accepted I just don't make enough its much easier on me, mentally and emotionally. I also (like @ElRuby ) worry about drying up and am not sure how I feel about that. Will just have to see what happens and go from there.

Don't worry about that, you do what you can and that means your LO is getting breastmilk you should feel great about it. Even if you were exclusively Bfing something else would be on your mind to make you feel guilty, so is motherhood. Our LO's are forever guilt ninjas... And let me just tell you FTM's, I used to think "I won't worry so much or have so much guilt the older (she, my dd) gets" she's twelve and all the same feelings, just different circumstances

ahh motherhood

btm013 · September 2015

- I would have asked for a new nurse when I initially got to the hospital. Thank god for shift changes.
- I would have asked for the epidural earlier. Eight hours on pitocin and only progressing 1/2cm was no way to live. Needless to say I ended with a csection at that rate!
- I would have started pumping immediately in conjunction with BF. I wonder if that would have helped with my very low supply. I ended up exclusively pumping to make sure he was getting enough.
- I would have stopped torturing myself mentally and physically over my low supply. I tried everything under the sun to get my supply up and I should have just accepted that it wasn't meant to be. I continued to pump for 3.5 months before calling it quits. I'm happy he was able to get some of my milk but it's sooooo nice not being tied to the pump anymore!!

KarasTwin · September 2015

I would have insisted on more bonding time for me, LO, and DH before allowing guests instead of feeling guilty that people were waiting.

I would have asked people to leave the room so I could rest and try nursing more the first day instead of just letting multiple people tell me he needed to eat and then continue to stay for hours.

7425cait · September 2015

I don't feel like there is anything I could really chane with labor, but the breast feeding was horrendous. Like @alcrimmins I would have been more patient trying to get her to latch instead of only worrying about her getting the milk any way she had to. I would have maybe tried a nipple shield. I would have insisted to the 3 LCs that something was really wrong instead of letting them tell me she was just having trouble latching. I also would have maybe started a bottle at night sooner to take some of the pain and stress off of me.

mjschenk · September 2015

I would have called the doctor earlier in the day because I was clearly feeling sick and was chalking it up to just being pregnant. Plus I knew I was going in to be induced that evening. But apparently we both had an infection and it turned out ok but I still feel bad I put myself through a whole day of feeling like crap.

aj1327 · September 2015

Many of mine have already been said but...

would have said no to so many visitors when we got home.

I'd like to say I'd go straight to the crib, but really I would probably buy a cosleeper that attaches to the bed.

I would accept more help from family. And I'd take more naps!

Nruiz29 · September 2015

klkonwi said:
I would of asked for/demanded a csection. :-?
I wouldn't of let so many visitors come the first week.
I would of stopped cleaning my house and snuggled more (newborn snuggles are like no other)
Otherwise nothing. :x

Same... I still regret not demanding a C-Section!!!

theletlers · September 2015

I would have said no to the second dose of Nubain. I was induced and had one dose in the middle of the night to ease the back labor and I chose to not have an epidural but my nurse said it would still be hours until my LO was born. It was within the hour!
I also would have spoke UO sooner and demanded getting to hold my son sooner. I only held him a few seconds right after he was born and then not again until he was 4 days old. It was so hard to watch him in the isolette crying and not pick him up and hold him.

valeriemarie24 · September 2015

I think the only thing I would have changed was holding off a little longer on getting an epidural. I asked for it pretty much as soon as I got to the hospital, and I feel like I missed out on some of the experience. It made me so drowsy (or maybe I was already just sleep deprived) and I slept through most of the contractions and dilation and only really started to feel anything when it came time to push. But I feel like I missed out on so much of the experience doing it that way. It might sound like a weird thing to say since most people wished they would have asked for it sooner.

Would you change anything?

Re: Would you change anything?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards