Heartbroken...any veteran IVF gals have hope when your first cycle all embryos PGD tested abnormal?

2legbaby · September 2015

Monday my husband and I received the devastating news that our four frozen embryos were all chromosomally abnormal. My poor husband took the call as I was at work, but from what our RE told him, she feels that doing another IVF cycle we will have the same results, that there is either something wrong with his sperm or my eggs...she is already talking egg and sperm donors and I don't know that we want to go there. We have our WTF meeting with her next week, but I was hoping someone out there has had a similar situation and maybe can give some hope that there are some good eggs in there and we just didn't have enough #s to start with. Or that maybe it would be waste of time/risks/money to do another IVF cycle in this situation?

Thank you all for being there and to my September IVF group for so much support....I couldn't bear to post this sad news there where there is so much excitement and happy news.

LCK0830 · September 2015

I'm so sorry for the news. I hope someone who has been in a similar situation can give you more information. Hugs!

jnissa · September 2015

I am not a doctor, but I think that your RE is being honest about the most likely case scenario. That said, THAT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT MEAN THAT IVF CAN'T WORK FOR YOU. What's equally unlikely is that nowhere, never would encounter a sperm+egg combo that is viable. This is totaly a personal decision about how much money and emotional capital you are willing to invest to try to get to that point.

I know everybody on this board hates when doctors rush to IVF or rush to donor genetic scenarios, but the doctor's first job is to be honest with you about what the most likely scenario for success is. That said, at the end of the day, you're the customer. If you want to to more IVF and see if you can catch a lucky egg, then you should do that.

asmith0115 · September 2015

I was in your boat. My doctor basically fired me from IVF using my own eggs, after 2 failed IVF attempts and 1 natural pregnancy resulting in a chemical miscarriage, all due to genetic abnormalities. I got a second opinion that confirmed it. Then I went through a grieving process. Now, looking back, it's a blessing to get the news straight, instead of spending time, money and emotion on a path that won't work. I just got my BFP with a donor egg and my husband's sperm. We couldn't be happier. Best of luck to you on your journey.

2legbaby · September 2015

Thank you for your support @LCK8030 and for your advice and honesty @jnissa and @asmith0115

@asmith0115- can I ask how they new if the problem was with your eggs or DH sperm? I know egg donation can be very costly and wonder if there is a way they can tell what end the problem is from? I am still in the numb phase right now, it's been really hard to wrap my head around it....so crazy to already have to go through so much to try and conceive to then find out it may not be in our cards, but I agree that I would rather have the doctors honest opinion then to be given false hope.

HBamama2B · September 2015

Oh, @2legbaby , I am crying for you. I'm so sorry for your lost cycle. I think it's worth looking into options for improving egg quality and identifying where the root cause may be (sperm or egg). At the very least this will give you information on what type of donation to seek if necessary. I know women have improved egg quality and I agree w/ all opinions above that there may be a good one, but finding it may be prohibitive.

A family member of mine tried 5 IVF cycles (she was allergic to estrogen!) before moving to donor eggs and conceiving twin girls. She was much happier with the donor cycle and loves the outcome. I've talked to her about it just in case we end up with similar news at some point. Either way--a heart wrenching day for you and I'm glad we can be here to buoy you as you work through it! Que creepy internet hugs.

peregrinefalconx · September 2015

I'm so sorry. What a let down

to say the least. Have they tested your husband's sperm?? I would kind of assume so and your AMH (can be indicative of egg quality). I don't have experience, as they would not have been able to get any eggs out of me. Wouldn't even try. I was personally offended when DE was first introduced to me. But I am so glad, and was relieved, to not being fighting a losing battle anymore, once I gave in. Just had my first transfer.

That being said, you have gotten some great advice here. From somebody who didn't want to listen to the docs, and tried to improve her egg quality for a couple of years, I've heard it can be done. After ruling out your husband's sperm, you may be better informed about your next step.

In the end, and after grieving, I am totally on board with DE and pray it works. I have a money back guarrantee on mine, so no baby, or I change my mind, I get all my money back. Can't say that for these other expensive procedures.

asmith0115 · September 2015

@2legbaby My AMH level was low when we first started the process, so we were advised then to either move quickly with IVF or consider a donor. I was 39 at the time. My husband's sperm was also checked. On my first IVF, only 3 eggs were retrieved. 1 made blasts. I miscarried at 7 weeks, did a DNC and the results were due to abnormalities. My second IVF only resulted in 1 egg retrieved, we did genetic testing prior to transfer...abnormal. Then I got pregnant naturally and suffered a chemical pregnancy. When I went in for the third time, my FSH was through the roof (50). I'm 41 and these levels are common in women in their 50's! Hence, being fired from IVF, and now preggers with Egg Donation.

2legbaby · September 2015

thanks for the info on donor egg experience @HBamama2B- also I gladly accept internet hugs and hope all goes well with your ER and transfer!!!!

thank you @peregrinefalconx and @asmith0115, my AMH level was actually good at 4 and my FSH at the high end of normal but not high, my husband has had several semen analyses and was karyotyped for a y chromosome problem and everything was good- don't know if they do other testing or not....I really appreciate the honest feed back from everyone and glad to know that after the grief and shock that other options like DE are available....so glad to have women who really understand on here for feedback!

chaine1 · September 2015

@2legbaby, what leads your doctor to think you have quality problems (apart from the 4 abnormals)? It seems quite a leap, in my experience for a doctor to suggest going straight to donor eggs after one failed round of IVF w/PGS. You're playing a genetic lottery, and sometimes you get a ticket without any of the matching numbers.

At 37, with your blood work (but now knowing anything more), I would definitely be getting a second opinion before jumping to donor eggs. But that's me.

2legbaby · September 2015

thanks @chaine1, I have been doing some reading (damn Google!) and there can also be a lot of false positives (embryos that test abnormal that are in fact normal or that would have "reverted" back to normal) and that for someone with very few embryos this can result in no normals....we still have to meet with our RE, but I feel that emotionally and financially we can try another cycle, if we get the same results then we can move onto other options, I have been looking at snowflake adoption and it really seems to be something we would consider....

I do worry that since REs have to publish their numbers of success/failure for each fresh or frozen transfer if they discourage couples who may want to try again as it impacts their success rates...I am hoping our RE is not like this but plan on being blunt and making sure that is not factored into her decision.

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Heartbroken...any veteran IVF gals have hope when your first cycle all embryos PGD tested abnormal?

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