Sibling age difference worries?

Alexandra0223 · September 2015

Hello ladies!

I am still very early in this pregnancy (due at the end of May), but it has me thinking about the age difference between my kiddos. My son is 2.5 now, so will be almost 3.5 when this LO comes. While I am thrilled with the pregnancy (we have been TTC for a year) I am worried about such a large age gap. Both DH and I are the oldest of 2, with a 2 year difference between us and our siblings.

SO tell me about your age gaps with your kids or you and your siblings!

josie12367 · September 2015

There will be a six year gap between my two.....I don't think yours is that far apart actually. My sister and I are 2.5 years apart, and we are extremely close, and my brother and I are 6 years apart. My brother and I are close now, but we had a hard time growing up just because we were so much a like, now we are closer, and get along great. I think your kiddos will do fine

Alexandra0223 · September 2015

josie12367 said:

There will be a six year gap between my two.....I don't think yours is that far apart actually. My sister and I are 2.5 years apart, and we are extremely close, and my brother and I are 6 years apart. My brother and I are close now, but we had a hard time growing up just because we were so much a like, now we are closer, and get along great. I think your kiddos will do fine

Thanks mama! I am the last one of my local mom friends to have #2.

emma+karen · September 2015

Our kiddos are about the same age! My son will be 3 in February; I'm due at the end of May, as well! Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm the oldest of three; my brother and sister are 4.5 years apart and they have always been extremely close. They just have similar personalities. I think it really has a lot more to do with that, and less to do with age. My sister and I are 6.5 years apart, and we aren't as close, but we have NOTHING in common.

Alexandra0223 · September 2015

emma+karen said:

Our kiddos are about the same age! My son will be 3 in February; I'm due at the end of May, as well! Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm the oldest of three; my brother and sister are 4.5 years apart and they have always been extremely close. They just have similar personalities. I think it really has a lot more to do with that, and less to do with age. My sister and I are 6.5 years apart, and we aren't as close, but we have NOTHING in common.

Yay! You can sympathize with the toddler drama!

Latina211508 · September 2015

I honestly don't think that's a large age gap at all. My first two are exactly 2 years apart, my second and third are 19 months, my third and fourth will be 3 years 3 months apart. Even though I wanted my last two to be closer in age it would have been impossible since my husband was deployed. But my children get along very well. We will see how my youngest two do. My brother and I are 6 years apart and have never got along. We always thought it was the age gap but we just have different mentalities lol. While my husband is the eldest of four and they all get along so well. 26, 22, 15 and youngest is almost 9. It really just depends on your children.

saladflambe · September 2015

That is a tiny age gap.

I'm 8 years older than my oldest brother, 12 years older than the next one, 13 years older than the youngest.

Love 'em all, feel like I still got to grow up with my oldest brother.

mcvgal · September 2015

Yeah that doesn't seem that far apart to me either. I am 10 years older than my brother and he's one of my best friends.

countrygrl5533 · September 2015

My DD will be 4 when the baby gets here. Old enough to be helpful!

I was concerned at first because they really won't play well together like if they were closer in age. But now we will do high school one at a time, college one at a time, etc. So it actually will be better (at least financially) in the long run.

dsmith211 · September 2015

My sister and I were 6 years apart. We weren't that close bc of that early on, but now we're absolute best friends. I really wouldn't worry about 3.5 years. That doesn't seem too large of a gap to me.

cortney626 · September 2015

There will be 8 years between my kids so I don't think 3.5 years is that big of a gap. I'm 3.5 years older than my brother (4 years in school, so we were never in high school together). Sure we fought at times growing up but I was always "big sister" and took care of him. We're very close now.

Jenly17 · September 2015

My DD will be just over 2.5 yrs when LO arrives. My siblings and I are 4 years apart. There were times growing up that we didn't get along very well, but now we are each others best friends. It was nice for my parents too, because as one would leave for college, the other 2 were just starting high school. It lessened the sting as the nest emptied.

MrsO11/24/2006 · September 2015

My DD and DS are 25 mths apart and to be honest it was really rough in the beginning but now they are super close and play together. That being said the difference b/w these kids will be 6.5 years and 4.5 years a little more than I wanted b/c I am 7 years and 4.5 years younger than my siblings and I wasn't very close to them growing up but we thought we were done after my DD and DS and this was a suprirse baby but we are now so excited!!! My DD will be such a big help now and they are both very independent so I am thinking this will be an easier transition than it was when I brought DS home.

vampirina · September 2015

I'm two years younger than my brother and 8 years younger than my sister. I fought equally with both of them growing up, played with both of them on vacations and whatnot and now am still equally close to both of them as adults.

3.5 years really isn't a big gap at all, For me that would be perfect!

Since my sister was so much older she sometimes had to serve a "baby sitting" role, but it wasn't that frequent. She had TONS of advice to offer when i was going into high school, college, entering the workforce, because she had done it all well before me This really cemented our adult relationship. It's pretty obvious that I basically grew up wanting to be my big sister (and i still kinda do). We're very similar in nearly every way.

My brother and I were tight when we were kids, but weren't so close once we hit middle school. We just had such different personalities that our closeness in age didn't really mean close at heart. We're close now, as a adults, but we didn't really connect for most of our adolescent years.

AppleRidge · September 2015

Ours will be 5 years apart. I have my worries, for sure. DS is so used to being a spoiled only child. But he loves bossing people around, so I'm sure he'll take to the big brother role eventually. And I'm psyched there won't be overlap in daycare, teenagehood or college.

jdrdnr · September 2015

My oldest 10 and middle son7 are 3 years almost to the day. Then my daughter just turned 1! And Prego again. We will have over 11 year difference:)

Jesse835235 · September 2015

My brother and I have a 3.5 year age difference, but were 4 grades apart in school. Honestly, I think it was perfect. We weren't in high school at the same time, etc. We got along great, obviously with sibling fights along the way, and are great friends to this day.

daphne814 · September 2015

My daughter will be 5.5 and my son will be 4 when this LO is born. I was 3 years older than my brother and we fought like crazy growing up but get along fine now.

I think they'll get into a groove no matter what their age difference is, and their relationship will constantly change over the years.

2.red.heads · September 2015

My kids are 3 1/2 yeas apart and they are buddies most of the time. My son is older and my daughter is younger. They also do their own thing and play separately. I'm the oldest of 4. We're all close because .... we're just that way I guess! Personality is a biggie.

It was great when my daughter was a newborn and my son could speak clearly, get himself into his car seat, was potty trained.....all good - helpful - things!

kbrands7 · September 2015

Like others, I think personality has more to do with closeness than age. I'm very close with both my sister (my twin) and brother who is 5 yrs younger. My husband is extremely close with his younger sister who is only 1 year younger, but is also close with his two youngest siblings who are 10+ years younger.
DS will be 2 years older than this baby. We hoped to keep their ages close so that we wouldn't feel like we were starting all over again. DH has been referring to it as "ripping the bandaid off at each stage."

bambee786 · September 2015

I'm in the same boat! Mine will be just under 3.5 yrs apart. I've been worried about it too. My sis and I are 3.5 apart and my bro and I are 4.5 apart. Growing up they were definetly closer but we all played together. Since college my sister and I have been bffs so it worked out nice. Also helped to only have one kid in college initially!

mariaalene · September 2015

My cousins (girls) were 3 years apart and they never got along and never played together and never had anything in common (till they went to college now they party together). It upset my aunt a lot bc she wanted them to be bffs. On the other side I knew a set of brothers who were 4.5 years apart and they were best friends and always played together. Maybe it's a gender thing... Or just random. My sister and I are 10 mo apart. We were like twins, until middle school and high school. Then it was more like competition for friends bc we were in the same grade. We had to go to separate schools it was so bad

lalala2004 · September 2015

My brother and I are 3 years and 3 months apart and have always gotten along really well and are still friends to this day.

I think it has more to do with personality and common interest than age as PP have mentioned.

Spylon · September 2015

I agree with what everyone has said. It has more to do with personality than age. There's a 7 year difference between me and my older sister, and we're very close. 5 year difference between me and my younger sister, and that relationship has been a struggle. But we're getting there.

Bookhousegirl · September 2015

I agree with all that's been said about it being a personality issue more than anything else. My brother and I are 20 months apart and we were not very close growing up. As adults we are much closer because we get along really well with each other's spouses and we're at the same stage in life (both got married around the same time and his son and my son are only 4 months apart). I'm 8 years older than my younger brother and we were super close when he was little and now we're more distant just given the different places we are in, so I guess what I'm saying is closeness is not determined solely on age.

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