Community› The Bump Month Clubs› December 2015 Moms
December 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Traveling at 38 weeks pregnant... need opinions

kit9452kit9452 member
in December 2015 Moms
A close friend is getting married at the end of November, exactly 2 weeks before my due date. The downside is that it is a 3 hour drive from my hospital. My ob said he can't make me do anything, but he advised me against traveling more than an hour away after 36 weeks.
I am torn on what to do... I don't want to miss her wedding, but I also don't want to risk delivering at an unfamiliar hospital away from family.
What would you do?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Traveling at 38 weeks pregnant... need opinions

  • Court11152325Court11152325 member
    I personally wouldn't go, but if you do make sure to take your medical records with you.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • rewarereware member
    edited September 2015
    I wouldn't go if it were a flight, but a 3 hr drive sounds reasonable, as long as you're planning to go with your husband, so if you start feeling your first contractions he will drive you back immediately. Sure take your records with you and make sure you guys keep a full tank of gas and research the local hospitals, but my understanding is that we'll all do at least several hours of at-home labour almost without exception.

    Maybe most would advise you to play it safe, but I'm in the same boat with a friend who is like a sister to me, only her wedding is a 10 hour flight away when I'll be 34.5 weeks. I was torn but obviously I can't go. Still it feels awful and makes me really sympathetic to your situation. Best of luck either way you decide!
    Report Reply
  • jenbstevensjenbstevens member
    I would go. Most women (especially first time moms, which I'm guessing you are since you didn't mention another kid) are in labor for way longer than three hours from their water breaking or first contractions. That won't be a fun car ride, but you'd make it back in time unless your labor is exceptionally short. I'm hoping my best friend can hop on a plane and make it here from the east coast before the baby is born lol.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • jjmacejjmace member
    I personally would not go as well. Your friend will understand.

    Many airlines would not allow you to fly that far along in your pregnancy without an authorization from your doctor.

    If you have to attend driving would be the best option as you have the flexibility to return home as needed.

    Right now you may feel up to it, but at 38 weeks you may be feeling much more uncomfortable.
    Report Reply
  • kit9452kit9452 member
    Thanks for your input, ladies. As of right now I will plan to go, but if I really don't feel comfortable with it as the time nears I can always change my mind. I wish I wasn't such a worrier.
    Report Reply
  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    Maybe you could schedule an appointment for the day before leaving and see if you have progressed any? It's not always reliable because a woman can walk around for a long time 1 or 2 cm dilated and not go into labor. But if you're well effaced and thinned, then labor is likely imminent.
    I would consider going, myself but decisions are always easier when you're just a spectator. Good luck in decided what to do.
    Report Reply
  • discohikerdiscohiker member
    Make sure you wear compression socks for the car ride and take a break and move around during the drive.  With my first child, at 38 weeks I still had a month until I actually delivered.  The pp was right, most 1st time moms labor for quite a while.  Unless your friend is getting married in the sticks, they have hospitals there with facilities that deliver babies all the time. 
    I also travel for work and fly up until 36 weeks and drive up to 3 hours away until 39.  You'll know better what you feel like doing at that point anyways.  Right now you are no where near the potential discomfort that you might feel at 38 weeks.
    "There is more to us than we know. Perhaps, if we are made to see it just once, for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less." - Kurt Hahn, Founder of Outward Bound

    image

    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • JmdavinJmdavin member
    Aside from the chance of possibly going into labor (Side note: i know everyone is different but my sister (FTM) just went into labor 3 weeks early and had a VERY fast labor, so definitely does happen) I wouldn't go simply because of the stress it would put on my body.

    At 38 weeks you could "go" at any time, and I think you'd want to minimize any unnecessary stress/anxiety and start mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc preparing for labor and birth. 3 hours drive isn't THAT bad but I personally think being in a car that long would be very uncomfortable and just the stress of going to a wedding being so pregnant is definitely not something I'd be down to do.

    I think your friend would understand if you decided not to attend. number one thing to remember is to put YOU and BABY first and don't do anything that you feel would put uneccessary stress just because you may feel bad for not going.

    Anyways, just my two cents on personal preference. You and DH will figure out what feels best and most comfortable for you and babe. Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • Daphneh28Daphneh28 member
    It definetly depends on how you are feeling. One of my best friends just had her baby last Thursday at 38 + 2 and towards the end she could barely go to her mom's house for lunch much less a wedding. She is an FTM as am I and she is my mentor now lol!!! But based on her experience you may be willing to go but so drained physically that it would be best for you to be trying to rest as much as possible those last few days before baby. Your friend will understand
    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
    Report Reply
  • tralalablahtralalablah member
    I had my first come early at 38 weeks, so I personally wouldn't chance it this go around. I was expecting to be late, like most FTMs, but nature had other plans. I don't plan on doing any traveling after 36 weeks this time, but it's because of my previous experience. I was in labor for nearly a day, so I could have made it back, but that would have been a terrible car ride.
    Report Reply
  • BostonBaby1BostonBaby1 member
    redfallon said:


    tralalablah said:

    I had my first come early at 38 weeks, so I personally wouldn't chance it this go around. I was expecting to be late, like most FTMs, but nature had other plans. I don't plan on doing any traveling after 36 weeks this time, but it's because of my previous experience. I was in labor for nearly a day, so I could have made it back, but that would have been a terrible car ride.

    No kidding! PPs have said that labor can take a while, but who the hell wants to do that in a car on the Interstate (or elsewhere) where you have to sit there and not move around??? Or there could be major traffic or backed up due to an accident and you're just sitting there. Your dashboard would have dents in it before you got to where you needed to go. Heck, you may bust out the car window.


    Also... It does not always take a long time. I know a mom who figured that she had plenty of time but was already dilated to 10 when she arrived (maybe 45 minutes in traffic.) She got up into labor and delivery but was not able to get an epidural for a 10+ lb baby.
    Report Reply
  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    I wouldn't do it. Plus, if it's a good friend, she'll understand and from the brides perspective, I'm sure she doesn't want you to go into labor during her wedding!

    If you do RSVP yes, make sure you let her know that's it's a tentative yes so she can plan accordingly. When each wedding guest costs $100-$200 a head, two no shows can be a little annoying.
    Report Reply
  • kit9452kit9452 member
    I appreciate the honest feedback. In the back of my mind I KNOW the right thing to do is to not go, but then my conscience has a way of making me feel guilty about it. I was making myself feel like I was being selfish for not wanting to go because "it's only 3 hours away" and I would "only be 38 weeks".
    The more I read what you all are saying, the more ridiculous I feel for even thinking I was being selfish...
    Report Reply
  • MrsBwIVFMrsBwIVF member
    edited September 2015
    Don't feel ridiculous! I think lots of women would debate it even for a few minutes.
    But just think of it this way- how guilty would you feel if you went into labor and something happened on the 3 hour drive home?
    Giving birth in a car seems dreadful and is ridiculously dangerous.
    I agree with PPs that your friend will understand.
    ***Trying to conceive since 9/12- m/c 2/13 from natural conception.
    IVF success 10/14 with m/c 11/14. FET success 4/15***

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • JulieK79JulieK79 member
    I had my LO at exactly 38 weeks last time around. Once I figured out I was in labor, I personally wouldn't have wanted to be 3 hours away just because I probably would've been thinking, "I hope nothing too much happens in the next 3 hours."

    Could you tell your friend that you'll be a last minute decision and decide how you're feeling as the date gets closer? If a close friend of mine was in your situation and I was getting married I'd understand and would be fine having you tell me last minute one way or another.
    Report Reply
  • LMJLLMJL member
    I'm also in the stay at home camp, for all the reasons PPs have mentioned. If she really is a good friend, she'll understand. Also, b/c my mom had labor under 2 hours for all her kids. (It happens!) I'm not going farther than 30 mins from my hospital by 38 weeks!
    Report Reply
  • juliestevejuliesteve member
    I'd stay put, to be honest. Coming from someone who has been on bed rest all summer and missed out on a heck of a lot, it sucks, but not worth the risk.
    Also, with my DD (she was my first), from the time my water broke to the time I delivered her was less than 2 hours. No time for an epidural. It bugs me when I read FTM labour for hours or days and baby is almost always overdue! Its just not true! Babies come when they're ready. DD arrived at 39+6, right on time and very fast.
    Report Reply
  • RSB1982RSB1982 member
    I asked my OB about travel at 35 weeks (going home for Thanksgiving) and she seemed optimistic about it. She said they would examine me beforehand and if all looked good I could travel - our hometown is 7+ hours away. We will just need to stop a ton so that I can walk around and prevent blood clots. And I'm sure I'll need to pee all the time anyway. She herself flew at 36 weeks, we would most likely be driving. Maybe there is a big difference between 35 and 38 weeks at that stage of pregnancy, I don't know, I'm a FTM. I would just give your friend a heads up that you may need to cancel. I'm sure she'll understand.
    Report Reply
  • matika88matika88 member
    I have to drive 3 hours away for final exams at 38 weeks. My doc said it should be fine, as long as there's a hospital nearby just in case. He will check me right before I go just to be sure it's ok. If I didn't have to leave though, I probably wouldn't.
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Rynney1979Rynney1979 member
    I don't envy your decision. Personally, I wouldn't do it for the reasons already mentioned. The big one for me is the possibility of laboring in a car. The level of misery would be way too high to justify the risk for me. And DH needs to focus on driving in that situation, not my discomfort. Your friend will definitely understand, especially if you're close. This is just the beginning of the choices and sacrifices we all get to make once we have kids. Skype or Instagram for photos could soften the blow of not being there in person.
    Report Reply
  • elbouelbou member

    I have actually been in this situation before (however it was my third kid, so I had a better idea of what to expect) and I decided to go.

    The destination was my dad's surprise 70th birthday party (a big deal, as I don't remember him ever having a party before) combined with Easter. In my case, it was only 2 hours away, but it was also only 4 days before my due date. I REALLY didn't want to miss it, so I spoke with my midwife (who looked pretty surprised) and discussed what to do if I went into labour there (it was close to my hometown, so I was familiar with the hospitals in the area, and I looked up all the hospitals along the way) what to bring with me (car-seat for baby, hospital bag for both of us, and my medical binder) and after checking me, she okay'd it.

    I am so, SO glad we had that conversation, and had a plan in place because we got a call very early the day before my dad's party that my husband's grandmother was in the hospital. She was on life support, and they were just waiting for family to come and say their good-byes before they pulled the plug. My hubby was away, and said I didn't need to come, but I felt it was important to be there, so I ended up driving myself, my 2 older kids, and my SIL (who was in no state to drive) 2 hours away (the opposite direction of my parents) to say goodbye to MH's Gigi. 

    All in all, I spent a total of 8 hours in the car that weekend, and another 4 the weekend afterwards for the visitation and funeral. I wouldn't say it was a comfortable trip, but it wasn't really that much worse than a regular drive of that distance.

    My suggestion would be to make your decision at the last minute. If you go, bring your hospital bag, baby's car seat, and medical records. Looking up the hospitals near the route you are taking would be helpful too, even if you don't like the idea of delivering at an unfamiliar one. It will likely be better than labouring (and possibly delivering!) in the car as PP's have mentioned. It is definitely possible you'll feel up to it, but I don't think anyone will fault you if you don't. Good luck with your decision!


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Report Reply
  • thisblessedmessthisblessedmess member
    Late to this but wanted to add: I missed my grandma's funeral at 38 weeks with it being a 4-hour drive. If you decide to skip it, per your doctor's advice, do not let anyone make you feel guilty when your baby is - most likely - not born that day. (That includes you, too - no self-imposed guilt allowed!). You'll never know if that much traveling (or an accident) could have triggered labor if you HAD gone.
    Report Reply
  • grkgdss00grkgdss00 member
    If you feel OK, I would go. That's an important day for your friend and i'd want to be there to witness it. Try to get checked before you leave, and research hospitals near by and make sure they are in your insurance network just in case.
    Report Reply
  • minceys4minceys4 member
    I just asked at my last appointment about going to my family's for thanksgiving 3 hours away since I will be 37 weeks with my third. My doctor actually started laughing and said not unless you want to deliver there and pay an out of network deductible. She then proceeded to tell me that she could check me an hour before I left and tell me that I'm not dilated at all then 1 hour later I could be 10. So I guess I will be spending thanksgiving at home. Sorry so long I just personally wouldn't chance it but you need to way the pros and cons and decide if it's worth it for you.
    Report Reply
  • GalLauraGalLaura member
    If my doctor recommended me not going, I wouldn't got. I know it's hard to miss but the babies health and your health are more important. The reality is once the baby is born there will be things you can't go to from time to time.
    Report Reply
  • redfallonredfallon member
    I am not going to Thanksgiving or Christmas with my family this year because they are 6 hours away from here. My EDD is 12/22. I may make a trip next month, though. Most docs will tell you not to go more than one hour away from home.

    Jamie


    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers


     Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"