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All advice welcomE

borntorun17borntorun17 member
in Postpartum Depression
I'm a first time mom with a nine week old colicky baby. He cries all the time. Like if he's not sleeping (which he hardly does during the day) or eating, he's crying.
Nothing I do calms him down and I've tried everything I could think of. I failed miserably at breast-feeding in more ways than one and feel like a terrible human being that I have to feed my child formula. Because of course the first question people ask when I meet your baby is "are you breast-feeding"?

I cry every single day
A few times I have found myself screaming at the top of my lungs why won't he just stop crying.
I look forward to the few times when I can get away from him if I have a doctors appointment.

I love him so much but I feel like I can't help him. I think he'd be better off to daycare at this point because maybe someone there could calm him down. A lot of times I feel like my child hates me.

I try to vocalize these things to my husband but he brushes them off and tries to tell me I'm a good mother. But when I sit here for the last hour trying to rock a screaming baby I can't really believe it.

Does anybody have any suggestions as to who I can contact to get some help and possibly some medication. I denied postpartum at my OB follow up and my general practitioner as I was still trying not to believe it.
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Re: All advice welcomE

  • maelily15maelily15 member
    It's great that you recognize that you need help. My best advice would be to go back to the doctor and be honest with them about how you're feeling. They'll be able to work out a few solutions for you. I'm personally on Zoloft and in therapy, 6 times a month.
    There also might be a non profit in your area that will help take care of LO if you just need a break and are at wits end. Ours is called crisis nursery. Just know you're not alone.
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  • borntorun17borntorun17 member
    edited July 2015
    @meghanjodino which doctor? The I OBGYN or my regular family doctor? Or should I find a psychiatrist
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  • maelily15maelily15 member
    Either one. Your family doctor would have more of your health history but your OB is specifically trained in PPD. A lot of psychiatrists around here won't see you unless you're in therapy at their practice (may be different in your area), and you might have to do a little research to find out who will take your insurance for psychiatric services.
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  • VTomanVToman member
    I recognize myself in a lot of what you've said, and I am so sorry you are going thru this. I feel this way a lot, and my baby doesn't cry as much as your LO.  I am going to speak to my OB about how I'm feeling, as it seems like a good place to start. I'm sure your OB will have suggestions.  Good luck to you!
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  • FunnyGal18FunnyGal18 member
    There's nothing wrong with ff. You are doing the best you can. My oldest was colicky so I tried like 5 different formulas until I found d the right one.

    Have you tried gripe water for the gas? For now, I would put him in the swing or bouncer bc laying down flat creates more pressure on his stomach.

    I have a 5 month old now and researched the hell out of formula ingredients. The formula that I tried with my first had changed bc they got bought out by a different company. The formula immediately had him screaming in pain. Pm me if you want to try what I am using right now.
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  • Ssundberg09Ssundberg09 member
    First about formula feeding DONT FEEL BAD/ASHAMED ABOUT FORMULA FEEDING! Your child is getting fed that's all that is important! Many children are ff and grow up to be smart, wonderful and happy kids! I struggled emotionally with breastfeeding as well and I had to remind myself that first and foremost my baby needs a happy mommy to take care of him. If I was stressed he would be too.
    For crying: I rock a bye with music on, let him play on his playmat with his mobile, give him a warm bath. They say when babies cry check diaper, feed them and hold them. If those are all satisfied sometimes babies just cry. Just need to keep trying different things until you figure out what he likes.
    For you: please speak to your provider. I had such bad anxiety and was prescribed Zoloft. Do know that it takes time (2-3 weeks) before the medication can take effect. But eventually it will get better. Be open and honest with your provider so they can adjust you meds as needed. Also you need to take some mommy time. Even if it's just an hour, give the baby to your partner and go take a walk or a bubble bath or a nap. Whatever makes you happy. Regroup and come back fresh to try again.
    I hope this helps and you and your LO start to have more happy times!
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  • Anne MommyAnne Mommy member
    I saw my primary doctor for PPD only because it was cheaper than my OB. I'm also on zoloft and it makes a huge difference. FWIW, with DS1, the lactation consultant told me the only bad mom is one who doesn't feed her child. Formula is there for a reason. Your baby will be just fine with formula. 
    Babies have no other way to communicate besides crying. When my baby cries all the time, I think about that. He can't say Mom, my tummy hurts or Mom I'm tired. 
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