Doubts

Philsssss · September 2015

So I've been having doubts about my pregnancy is this normal. I'm 3 months pregnant and confused

mojomama6 · September 2015

With my second child, I had some pretty serious doubts about my pregnancy right up until she was born. With my fourth, every time I thought about telling my mother I was pregnant, I wished I believed in abortion.
Parenthood can be a pretty terrifying thing. I think some level of fear and doubt can certainly be normal. I adore my girls now, and I can't imagine not having them.

AshleyM1985 · September 2015

What exactly are you confused about? Pregnancy can be scary and with the change in hormones it can be a lot of other things too.

Mallory15 · September 2015

you're an amazing person for being able to admit/write those things for others to read... I feel similarly and for the life of me, can't figure out why... i think it's because I don't want anything to negatively affect my kids now and our routine... I know this will affect it and we'll adjust, it's just scary right now to think... especially since things are already affected since I suck at life because i'm so tired and nauseous- haven't been much of a fun mommy lately!

sarahufl · September 2015

Doubts about being pregnant? Having a family? What are your doubts?

Frankly, I think it is really normal to doubt the decision to have children at least a little bit. It's a HUGE change and a HUGE decision to make. This baby was very much planned, but there are still days when I wonder what we are getting ourselves into.

If you think your thoughts aren't normal, maybe try discussing them with someone (a therapist? your family?). But don't feel bad if you are doubting your decision.

nbaba · September 2015

I'm in a similar boat. I have a 17 month old and a 3 year old and the baby is due when my youngest turns 2! I'm so scared to be the one caring by myself for three kids until daddy comes home from work lol I'm doubtful of my own skills worried about the pregnancy constantly and worried about the disruption of well established routines. I think it's normal to be scared/doubtful. That's what I will keep telling myself anyway lol

RoseShadow873 · September 2015

I'm definitely having doubts about deciding to get pregnant. I know I am not helping overpopulation and I feel bad bringing another person into such a horrible, stupid world. How will my child be happy? I feel like I can't be happy in such a miserable world.

raemonae · September 2015

I have a three year old and a six year old an I am questioning myself also

AnnikaD20 · September 2015

I think everyone who takes parenthood seriously has some of those "oh crap, what am I getting myself into?" moments. Being 100% responsible for another human being is no small thing, and will change your life forever (mainly in good ways, but in some sucky ways too.)

pinottoparenthood · September 2015

@roseshadow873 I'm sorry you feel that way... I am not trying to overstep, but it sounds to me like you are depressed. Have you considered talking to your doctor about your feelings? Yes, there is always some doubt, and the world CAN be cruel, but I don't think your feelings are 100% normal and maybe you can find some relief to help you feel better.

To the OP, some doubts and fears are normal. Your life is going to change dramatically! But it's a wonderful thing.

kerri0925 · September 2015

We have a happy healthy 7 year old. This baby was a welcomed surprise, but I feel like I have NO idea what Im doing this time around. I think maybe it's because the first time I was just blissfully naive, and this time I'm much more educated and that is becoming VERY overwhelming.

Philsssss · September 2015

I have been told to get an abortion plenty of times and told to keep my baby pleanty of times i dont know what to do.

Philsssss · September 2015

sarahufl said:
Doubts about being pregnant? Having a family? What are your doubts?

Frankly, I think it is really normal to doubt the decision to have children at least a little bit. It's a HUGE change and a HUGE decision to make. This baby was very much planned, but there are still days when I wonder what we are getting ourselves into.

If you think your thoughts aren't normal, maybe try discussing them with someone (a therapist? your family?). But don't feel bad if you are doubting your decision.

Family members of both sides are telling me to get an abortion and then some are saying to keep the baby. I don't want to harm this little person they already mean the absolute world to me and their dad. I am completely overwhelmed with confusion and worry.

sarahufl · September 2015

Philsssss said:

Doubts about being pregnant? Having a family? What are your doubts?

Frankly, I think it is really normal to doubt the decision to have children at least a little bit. It's a HUGE change and a HUGE decision to make. This baby was very much planned, but there are still days when I wonder what we are getting ourselves into.

If you think your thoughts aren't normal, maybe try discussing them with someone (a therapist? your family?). But don't feel bad if you are doubting your decision.
Family members of both sides are telling me to get an abortion and then some are saying to keep the baby. I don't want to harm this little person they already mean the absolute world to me and their dad. I am completely overwhelmed with confusion and worry.

Can I ask you more about your station in life? Are you young? Old? Married? Single?

I am at the point in my life that I cannot fathom anyone telling me to abort a pregnancy. H and I are also both Catholic, so that isn't likely to come up in our families anyway but if someone in my family even suggested that, I would stop speaking to them. Why do they want you to abort the pregnancy?

SisterMaryNapalm · September 2015

Are you confused because they're not supporting your decision or are you confused because you are seriously not sure what decision to make? As PP said, doubts are completely natural and part of the pregnancy process but there may be more going on for you.

I would suggest that you seek someone to talk to about this because it sounds like you don't have a lot of support from your family. There are places that can help you discuss your options and come to what will be best for you and your circumstances.

I'm also not an expert but 3 months may be getting a bit late to consider an abortion safely (I'm not sure but it's something to consider). I'm not in any way suggesting you should or shouldn't consider this but you need some support that I'm not sure an Internet forum can provide.

I wish you luck and if you decide to stick around, the ladies here are a great support.

AshleyM1985 · September 2015

You could always do adoption, I couldn't even imagine getting an abortion especially after all this planned parenthood stuff that came out...

haiku16 · September 2015

H

Philsssss · September 2015

sarahufl said:

Philsssss said:

sarahufl said:
Doubts about being pregnant? Having a family? What are your doubts?

Frankly, I think it is really normal to doubt the decision to have children at least a little bit. It's a HUGE change and a HUGE decision to make. This baby was very much planned, but there are still days when I wonder what we are getting ourselves into.

If you think your thoughts aren't normal, maybe try discussing them with someone (a therapist? your family?). But don't feel bad if you are doubting your decision.
Family members of both sides are telling me to get an abortion and then some are saying to keep the baby. I don't want to harm this little person they already mean the absolute world to me and their dad. I am completely overwhelmed with confusion and worry.

Can I ask you more about your station in life? Are you young? Old? Married? Single?

I am at the point in my life that I cannot fathom anyone telling me to abort a pregnancy. H and I are also both Catholic, so that isn't likely to come up in our families anyway but if someone in my family even suggested that, I would stop speaking to them. Why do they want you to abort the pregnancy?

I'm 19 years old. I'm single according to the law and I want my baby but everyone is all like it is a struggle and it is going to be hard and wants me to give up.

cosmobella · September 2015

OP, No one should make these decisions but you. Do not let people pressure you- you are the one who needs to be okay with your choices. Consider all of your options, talk to informed people you trust, and decide what you want for your future.

As a mother of two, I can tell you what these other women have told you: it is hard. But hard is not impossible. If this is what you want, you will do it despite the difficulty. Stay informed and try to surround yourself with supportive people.

kimey1 · September 2015

I would assess your educational status, your financial status, your commitment, and who can be there to actually help your raise the child, then decide for yourself.
I have friends who were in your shoes and aborted, and others who had the child and went back to finish college 5-8years later. Those who did have the child had a financially and emotionally supportive partners, and those who aborted were single and not committed to their then partners. Both types of friends seem happy with their choices, and the ones that aborted then now have children with their husbands.
Do what you think is best and what you want. It's your life and your baby's life!

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