November 2015 Moms

Promised baby shower...

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Re: Promised baby shower...

  • HellsAngel22HellsAngel22 member
    edited September 2015
    Seen as its a double post I'll post my response here to..
    These Shower posts are getting very annoying. I sweet people are doing it for kicks.. Anywho

    OP Don't rely on anyone. The things you need for your baby are your responsibility.
    If your SIL offered a few months ago why have you not bought it up to her sooner?
    You could have just been open & honest & said
    "hey are you still wanting to plan a shower for me? If not that's cool I just wanted to know"
    Now rather than stress over a shower that may not happen, go out & buy what you need & if your SIL does surprise you with a shower what ever you get double of just return. If you'd rather not go out and buy anything then communicate with your SIL.
  • That's very frustrating! The same thing happened to me but thankfully, we budgeted in extra baby money from the start. Had a baby shower happened, than we would have just had extra money. I'd just buy what you need and keep your receipts....you'll be able to return things if the shower happens.
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  • Lol, I finally asked her if she had decided on a date , BC people have been asking about it. She came to me about the baby shower and although I am fully aware I am responsible for MY child, it would be nice to know what to expect regards to my budget. Thanks for everyone's input.
  • And aren't words enough to "welcome" you into motherhood? My cousin and SIL text me a lot to ask how I'm doing. They have little ones of their own so the fact that they take time out to do that touches me. I had a moment at Buy Buy Baby where my husband and I were cluelessly trying on carriers. A mom pregnant with her second was standing close by and chatted with me about the ones she preferred and why. When I went to work Friday to shoot photos at a restaurant a table of women said "congratulations!" to me sweetly after I took their picture. Hell, we all share pictures of our growing bellies with each other every week!

    I think we forget about the little moments where perfect strangers welcome us into motherhood. It is an awesome, elite force of women, almost a justice league of sorts I'm stoked about being a part of. I don't think we need gifts to celebrate it and should savor the moments where we connect with fellow mothers, no matter how small they are. :)

    I like this :)
  • For me personally I have been having a hard time budgeting too. But I'm still finding a way to buy everything I need for my baby. I know no one will throw me a shower. So I'm all on my own. The babies dad refuses to buy anything for the baby. I only work part time and still have bills to pay if I can find a way to buy everything I need so can you.
  • Lol, I finally asked her if she had decided on a date , BC people have been asking about it. She came to me about the baby shower and although I am fully aware I am responsible for MY child, it would be nice to know what to expect regards to my budget. Thanks for everyone's input.

    So what did she say? Is she doing one?

  • Elyse1384Elyse1384 member
    edited September 2015
    Lol, I finally asked her if she had decided on a date , BC people have been asking about it. She came to me about the baby shower and although I am fully aware I am responsible for MY child, it would be nice to know what to expect regards to my budget. Thanks for everyone's input.
    Ooooorrrrrr you could just budget assuming no gifts regardless.  "Worst case" scenario people buy you things and now you have more in your savings account for other needs which will undoubtedly arise.  

    Edit:  Spelling
  • Let's clarify this once again to those who don't understand.
    A baby SHOWER is a gift giving event to SHOWER mom to be with gifts welcoming her to motherhood.
    It celebrates new mothers not the baby.
    How can you have a party to celebrate your baby where the guest of honor isn't even born yet?
    The birth of your child is the celebration of the baby in which you get the greatest gift.
    If you want to celebrate the baby with family and friends do so in the form of a get together once baby has arrived.

    Thanks for clarifying that. I was so confused. Apparently everyone I know, including myself, has been doing it wrong so long. So at a baby shower the gifts should be for the mother and not gifts for the baby to use when they arrive?? Ok....got it.
  • rachswi said:
    Why do threads like this stay open while useful threads get closed down?
    Amen.

    If there's something strange underneath the hood.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  If there's something weird and it don't look good.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  Immediately.  If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor.  It's for your health and your child's. 






  • Let's clarify this once again to those who don't understand.
    A baby SHOWER is a gift giving event to SHOWER mom to be with gifts welcoming her to motherhood.
    It celebrates new mothers not the baby.
    How can you have a party to celebrate your baby where the guest of honor isn't even born yet?
    The birth of your child is the celebration of the baby in which you get the greatest gift.
    If you want to celebrate the baby with family and friends do so in the form of a get together once baby has arrived.

    Thanks for clarifying that. I was so confused. Apparently everyone I know, including myself, has been doing it wrong so long. So at a baby shower the gifts should be for the mother and not gifts for the baby to use when they arrive?? Ok....got it.

    image

    The gifts are baby gifts typically because people want to shower a brand new mother with items that will be useful for her, save her money, and, depending on the gift, be something that LO or mom will treasure for years to come . Clothes? Useful. Toys? Useful. Big ticket items? Useful. That family member that sets up/contributes to their college fund? Hella useful. These are ultimately gifts for the mother. All the events, if any are planned, are center around mom who is the guest of honor. Baby is the guest of honor at his/her sip and see and/or birthday parties as all focus is on them. See the difference?


    Yes I know the difference. I just don't see why people feel the need to keep beating a dead horse and "clarifying" what a baby shower is. I'm pretty sure most of us know what a baby shower is. I've been going to then my whole life and have hosted a few. We've got it. The original post has nothing to do with what a baby shower is. It's about someone not following thru with their word. Yeah I'd be upset too.
  • Let's clarify this once again to those who don't understand. A baby SHOWER is a gift giving event to SHOWER mom to be with gifts welcoming her to motherhood. It celebrates new mothers not the baby. How can you have a party to celebrate your baby where the guest of honor isn't even born yet? The birth of your child is the celebration of the baby in which you get the greatest gift. If you want to celebrate the baby with family and friends do so in the form of a get together once baby has arrived.
    Thanks for clarifying that. I was so confused. Apparently everyone I know, including myself, has been doing it wrong so long. So at a baby shower the gifts should be for the mother and not gifts for the baby to use when they arrive?? Ok....got it.
    Good! I'm glad you understand now! image
    It's a good day on TB when education is the focus.

    I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.







  • Let's clarify this once again to those who don't understand.
    A baby SHOWER is a gift giving event to SHOWER mom to be with gifts welcoming her to motherhood.
    It celebrates new mothers not the baby.
    How can you have a party to celebrate your baby where the guest of honor isn't even born yet?
    The birth of your child is the celebration of the baby in which you get the greatest gift.
    If you want to celebrate the baby with family and friends do so in the form of a get together once baby has arrived.

    Thanks for clarifying that. I was so confused. Apparently everyone I know, including myself, has been doing it wrong so long. So at a baby shower the gifts should be for the mother and not gifts for the baby to use when they arrive?? Ok....got it.
    Good! I'm glad you understand now!
    image

    It's a good day on TB when education is the focus.

    Unfortunately you can only educate those who care to learn. :-??
  • Let's clarify this once again to those who don't understand. A baby SHOWER is a gift giving event to SHOWER mom to be with gifts welcoming her to motherhood. It celebrates new mothers not the baby. How can you have a party to celebrate your baby where the guest of honor isn't even born yet? The birth of your child is the celebration of the baby in which you get the greatest gift. If you want to celebrate the baby with family and friends do so in the form of a get together once baby has arrived.
    Thanks for clarifying that. I was so confused. Apparently everyone I know, including myself, has been doing it wrong so long. So at a baby shower the gifts should be for the mother and not gifts for the baby to use when they arrive?? Ok....got it.
    image

    The gifts are baby gifts typically because people want to shower a brand new mother with items that will be useful for her, save her money, and, depending on the gift, be something that LO or mom will treasure for years to come . Clothes? Useful. Toys? Useful. Big ticket items? Useful. That family member that sets up/contributes to their college fund? Hella useful. These are ultimately gifts for the mother. All the events, if any are planned, are center around mom who is the guest of honor. Baby is the guest of honor at his/her sip and see and/or birthday parties as all focus is on them. See the difference?
    Yes I know the difference. I just don't see why people feel the need to keep beating a dead horse and "clarifying" what a baby shower is. I'm pretty sure most of us know what a baby shower is. I've been going to then my whole life and have hosted a few. We've got it. The original post has nothing to do with what a baby shower is. It's about someone not following thru with their word. Yeah I'd be upset too.
    Clearly, there are people posting here who don't understand what a shower is.  Otherwise, we wouldn't have so many posts made by people hosting/planning their own showers, feeling entitled to showers, and having showers for subsequent children under the guise of celebrating baby.  Yes, there's a lof of baby-based excitement at showers, but that is not what they're about.
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