Some info for people who like to judge

JK0112 · September 2015

i have dealt with anxiety for 7 yrs and you know what I know?there is no pill to magically make it go away
It's no fun to have a panic attack in front of ppl you don't know and completely embarrass yourself because you have something that is hard to control
It wasn't a chose to get this or to go thru this
And I know for a fact I'm not the only one in this world going thru it
For ppl to think others are dramatic because they've been traumatized into not being able to leave they're own houses and you know what pregnancy does make it worse and very hard to manage along with depression and not being able to enjoy being pregnant and it makes it hard to go to out to a grocery store or even out to your front yard
It's tough to deal with and I think instead of making ppl feel worse about having it why don't you cheer them on to get thru it because Drs don't know how to help and most psyciatrist and psycologist don't even want to help out a pregnant woman

kynbar5 · September 2015

JK0112 said:
i have dealt with anxiety for 7 yrs and you know what I know?there is no pill to magically make it go away
It's no fun to have a panic attack in front of ppl you don't know and completely embarrass yourself because you have something that is hard to control
It wasn't a chose to get this or to go thru this
And I know for a fact I'm not the only one in this world going thru it
For ppl to think others are dramatic because they've been traumatized into not being able to leave they're own houses and you know what pregnancy does make it worse and very hard to manage along with depression and not being able to enjoy being pregnant and it makes it hard to go to out to a grocery store or even out to your front yard
It's tough to deal with and I think instead of making ppl feel worse about having it why don't you cheer them on to get thru it because Drs don't know how to help and most psyciatrist and psycologist don't even want to help out a pregnant woman

I'm not sure where you are or how many Drs or psychiatrists you've attempted to see but most Drs, psychiatrists, psychologists and people in the medical field period are actually more likely to help and try hard with pregnant women. Like pp stated though, I've also seen your other posts and the responses on those posts. I think the best advice for you would be to seek actual professional care rather than an Internet forum of any kind. I hope the best for you.

kyraaD · September 2015

i have had to battle mental illness in the past & still suffer from it in certain ways now. being pregnant has definitely brought back my depression, anxiety, & insomnia, & I'm very sorry to hear you're going through this, but if you have actually gotten professional help then you know that what you're saying about psychiatrists & councillors not caring about you - especially cause you're pregnant - is NOT true. that's your depression talking. I've been there & i know how it feels to contantly feel like no one cares, but it's simply not true.
unfortunately there's nothing anyone on this forum can do for you, but i promise, if you actually give getting professional help a shot & try to let those people in, they can work wonders for you. mental illness is tough to beat, & it take a lot of work & a strong person to do it, but i believe it you!

kittyberet · September 2015

Please as you've been constantly urged to do get off the forum and find a provider that can give you what you need. We are not able to do that and no matter how many times you continue to post the same thing we still won't be doctors and we still won't be able to give you correct medical advice.

thegingeravenger · September 2015

I also suffer from depression. I know how serious it can be. That's why every single time it's come up with you, I've urged you to find a medical professional that takes you seriously. All of your posts basically ask for medical advice - granted, some people on here are medical professionals, but they aren't your medical professional with your file in front of them. What do you want us to do? Take your heartburn that you've made multiple threads about for example - if all the OTC medications haven't worked and the home remedies have fallen short, what do you want us to do? Magically prescribe you something over the internet? Have different/better answers than your doctor? We can't do that. This isn't meant to be ugly, there is nothing we can do for you besides tell you to find a new professional to speak to. That's it.

So rather than lashing out against strangers on an internet forum, why not go to your insurance company's website, pull up a second tab for healthgrades.com, and actually look at starting to fix the problem?

eamarat · September 2015

thegingeravenger said:
I also suffer from depression. I know how serious it can be. That's why every single time it's come up with you, I've urged you to find a medical professional that takes you seriously. All of your posts basically ask for medical advice - granted, some people on here are medical professionals, but they aren't your medical professional with your file in front of them. What do you want us to do? Take your heartburn that you've made multiple threads about for example - if all the OTC medications haven't worked and the home remedies have fallen short, what do you want us to do? Magically prescribe you something over the internet? Have different/better answers than your doctor? We can't do that. This isn't meant to be ugly, there is nothing we can do for you besides tell you to find a new professional to speak to. That's it.

So rather than lashing out against strangers on an internet forum, why not go to your insurance company's website, pull up a second tab for healthgrades.com, and actually look at starting to fix the problem?

jenbstevens · September 2015

Nobody judged you, they just told you to stop asking for medical advice on this forum and see a doctor that is actually willing to give you the help you obviously need. No one judged your anxiety or told you to "get over it" or said it wasn't real, but they did question why you are spending so much time asking us for medical/psychiatric advice we can't give. If you spent as much time looking for a new doctor as you have posting here, this would probably be resolved (or on its way to being resolved) by now. Please get help, for the sake of you and your baby.

queenwog · September 2015

It really irritates me when people get butthurt about this kind of stuff, claiming others should just cheer them on through it and "be supportive" and all that. You know what? The best support you can get is the constructive advice you've been given countless times to FIND A PROVIDER THAT WORKS FOR YOU. Please. Please find a provider that will take proper care of your needs, physically and mentally. You can say all you want that you've exhausted all the resources available to you but that's just not possible. There are always more options. Always.

You want to be cheered on? We're cheering you on on the road to your provider's office. But don't act like nobody is supporting you just because we're not going to sit back and let you self-destruct by denying yourself proper care.

queenwog · September 2015

Also, the people offering you advice are not here to judge you and it's offensive to imply such.

saladflambe · September 2015

I struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, a dissociative disorder, and a few other psychiatric diagnoses as well. I've gone through a dozen therapists and half a dozen psychiatrists. I've been on nearly 20 different medications...everything from antipsychotics to antidepressants, benzos, and z-drugs. I've seen your posts, and I get it...I do. I get doctors not listening to you -- even psychiatric ones. I get feeling terrified, alone, as if there is no hope, like an alien in your own skin. I understand flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, crippling anxiety, attempting suicide. I get it.

You need a therapist. NEED. It can be hard to find the right one, but I promise you that they do exist. It took me a long time to find my current therapist, but I would be dead without him. Literally dead. I am in therapy three times a week; I have 24-7 access to my therapist via phone, text messages, email. I would be dead without him; I need him. I am incapable of seeing reality from where I stand (inside of my head). I need him to be my mirror: I can ask him anything... I can tell him anything... and he tells me if it's real or not. And I need that. I especially need it now that I'm pregnant and trying not to be on my medications.

Here's what I've learned so far in this lovely journey:

Some doctors believe it is impossible for a pregnant woman to be depressed. These doctors are subscribing to an old, outdated thought that antenatal hormones protect a woman from depression. That theory is incorrect.
Depression and anxiety during pregnancy is real. And it's overwhelming. And it's impossible to stop by will alone. It's also kind of impossible to identify while you're going through it. I've had the most horrendous thoughts and even impulses; when going through them, they are my reality. They don't "seem" like reality -- they ARE my reality.
I need help. I NEED help. Without help, I will die. Without help, my baby will die.
There is hope. It's not easy to find, you might believe it doesn't exist...that's why you NEED someone who knows that it does exist. Someone who is professionally trained in how to handle you. Not a friend, not family...a professional. It's a need.

I get it. I know how alone this stuff can make you feel. I know how awful you can feel about yourself, how many doors can slam in your face, how nobody seems to understand. Somebody WILL understand (although - heads up - it will not feel like they understand!), but you have to look for a therapist. The RIGHT therapist. You need to. It's a need.

groovylocks · September 2015

As an anxious person, I have developed a series of coping skills that help manage my anxiety. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't but they do help. A side effect of these skills has been a great deal of learning about the nature of anxiety.

One thing I have learned over time is that anxious people, WITHOUT REALIZING IT, are looking for others to validate the root of their anxiety by confirming their reason for panic. It's not something you're doing on purpose. It's the nature of anxiety. Anxiety listens to rational explanations and says "yeahbut" all the damn time.

Another thing I've learned is that anxiety doesn't want solutions. It needs problems. Ever notice that when you DON'T have anything to worry about, you're at your MOST WORRIED? Can't figure out what you're forgetting to panic about? Yeah. Been there. So no matter what solutions people offer you, your anxiety is going to get you keyed up about how they wont' work. Because if you DO start to listen to and try solutions, it kills the anxiety. And anxiety is afraid of dying

The reality is that VERY LIKELY NOTHING IS WRONG. Which means your anxiety is based in medical issues. And the advice to see your doctor and try to get it under control is the best advice you can get here because we're not doctors. And many of us run a risk of doing more harm to you by offering you half baked advice that may or may not work.

Speaking from one anxious person to another.

groovylocks · September 2015

thegingeravenger said:

I also suffer from depression. I know how serious it can be. That's why every single time it's come up with you, I've urged you to find a medical professional that takes you seriously. All of your posts basically ask for medical advice - granted, some people on here are medical professionals, but they aren't your medical professional with your file in front of them. What do you want us to do? Take your heartburn that you've made multiple threads about for example - if all the OTC medications haven't worked and the home remedies have fallen short, what do you want us to do? Magically prescribe you something over the internet? Have different/better answers than your doctor? We can't do that. This isn't meant to be ugly, there is nothing we can do for you besides tell you to find a new professional to speak to. That's it.

So rather than lashing out against strangers on an internet forum, why not go to your insurance company's website, pull up a second tab for healthgrades.com, and actually look at starting to fix the problem?

See, this is a good reply because it illustrates the dilemma that anxiety causes.

missemmawoodhouse · September 2015

I find it this post offensive and hurtful. In all of your posts, posters (myself included) have been nothing short of supportive despite your refusal to take anyone's advice regarding finding a new OB, psychiatrist, and therapist.

Frankly, I'm done with your nonsense. I think you like the attention and want something to complain about hence this post accusing posters here of being judgmental and unwilling to help. If you aren't going to take control of your own mental health, there is absolutely nothing anyone here can do for you. We can't drive you to a new doctor or advocate for you.

dchiapella · September 2015

Many people, myself included, have been extremely candid and shared personal struggles with you about our extremely serious mental illnesses. So this whole thread you've started is a HUGE slap in the face. I just went back to re-read anything I might have written that could have been misinterpreted as offensive and I was shocked by how supportive and honest and helpful all of us were! We all were supportive because we understand how hard it is to cope and you turn around and accuse us of these terrible things when we've poured our hearts out to you, offered you sound advice and who are ALSO trying their freakin' hardest to cope with this. Just being blunt at this point because apparently being nice was offensive.

I'd try having someone else, someone impartial, read the responses you were so offended by that you felt the need to post this. I think that will give you the reality check you might need at this point to register that the offense is something you have cultivated on your own and that you do indeed professional help with this... as we all suggested before!

PrimRoseMama · September 2015

I am sorry you seem to be so distraught, but you've gotten judgment-free, deeply personal responses to try to help you. I think its time to step away from the internet, hun. You need some very real help and we've reached the end of our ability to really help you. What you need is a mental health professional and intense therapy to help you manage your condition(s).

I wish you the best. I truly do and I feel for you. I just think its very disrespectful to categorize any of the responses you've gotten as judgy. The posters here have really reached out and tried to help you. Please get IRL help immediately.

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Some info for people who like to judge

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