Introducing myself: Our only shot is IVF

triciasmith1 · September 2015

Hello! My hubby and I have been ttc for 2 years now. Finally this summer, we sat down and really figured out what we want and decided to finally see someone about our infertility. After all the tests, I check out fine, but my husband's counts and motility are abnormally low.

in the back of my mind I had secretly been counting on doing IUI, but it's not possible in our situation unless we use donor sperm, which I don't prefer that method.
So, it looks like IVF is the way we are going. I'm totally scared of the whole process. All of the meds, procedures and no guarantee! That's hard to swallow. Right now we're looking to do a cycle in December, but may not have the money at that time and may have to put it off a couple months. That's the other difficult part. ..how much it costs!! I feel like price is always the elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about it because how can you put a price on having children and fulfilling dreams??? However, how can I then properly care for my family when all of our savings is gone!!it's a conundrum for sure. Thanks to anyone who reads this long post. It's my 1st one and I feel like I just needed to get some emotions out in a safe place!! I'd love to hear advice! 2 embryos or 1? Financing IVF? Tips, tricks, etc!

AL_TwinCities · September 2015

I have no IVF experience but wanted to say welcome, and I wish I could give you a hug! You'll get some great advice here.

ceclarlinetlo · September 2015

No IVF experience here either, I'm still waiting for my RE's office to schedule my 1st appointment - but I wanted to say Hi and that I really hope you get to cycle in December.

riveridgional · September 2015

I don't have IVF experience either, but I definitely know what you mean re: the cost. My husband and I feel the same way. It's hard to think, well, I spent X amount on an egagement ring, trip, etc., why wouldn't I spend X on having a child. Also, while we have money in our savings to do IVF, we agree, if we spend money on that and it doesn't work, will we be able to afford to adopt? Either way, if we spend that much money, will we be able to afford to give the child all we hoped to give them in terms of experiences, education, etc... It's tough. I can't help but be so jealous of those with great insurance plans!!! Luckily, we have a few family members who have offered to give us a 0 interest loan if the time comes. While we hate to accept money from others, knowing the offer is out there has really helped take the pressure off. It's also helped me realize how blessed I am to have such a giving an supportive family. Depending on your financial circumstances, you may qualify for a grant. These can be found on the resolve website. I also regularly google research studies for infertility. I think the CDC may have an extensive list. Depending on where you live, there may be a clinical trial going on that may pay for all or most of the process. A lot of the ones I see don't involve strange medications. It's more dosing differences or growing embryos in a medium from your own body vs. whatever they are using now. Unfortunately, Louisiana is not a big infertility study place!

GoldenKeys · September 2015

I'm just starting the IVF process, and you might want to have a consultation with the billing clerk at your clinic. She will be familiar with your insurance and can find out if at least some of the procedures or meds can be covered. I'll be doing IVF for the first time later this year and will be doing 2 embryos.

jnissa · September 2015

One piece of advice I would give is to set a hard limit on what you're willing to spend. It's easier to get comfortable with a number once rather than go into a stress spiral every time you have to look at spending another $20k. Though also stay positive and believe that you will only have to do this once!

For us, we were lucky in that we have fairly robust savings between the two of us already. We said we were willing to spend $100k - end game after that. We knew plenty of people who had taken 3 or 4 cycles to get pregnant, so that left us some buffer room. So far we're one for two and have spend $35k. We'd love a second baby, so we've allocated the last $25k of our remaining budget for a donor egg cycle. If we don't get pregnant with our remaining budget before then, then we just have to accept that and move on, because after that amount we're jeopardizing our future. We also picked that amount based on what seemed "reasonable" in terms of success. We figured if we had been through the entire amount with no success, then any money spent beyond that was just on a "wish and a hope." Setting limits early with money can help avoid stress later.

The money can be the worst part of this.

FX for you that you get to go one and done in a single cycle.

yellingbanana · September 2015

Check out a few clinics if you can and compare prices. We considered IVF, but after insurance, we would be paying about $8000 out of pocket. But, the clinic we go to will to up to 4 rounds of IVF if the first isn't successful. So that is another thing you'll want to compare- which places offer more than 1 month for the price.

As of right now, it's my PCOS and previous surgeries that are hurting my fertility. So we are doing meds, TI, then IUI in a few months.

Good luck, we all work with what we have and hope for the best!

misshopeful1 · September 2015

@triciasmith1 , Glad you are here! Members brought up good points and I'd agree to determine a limit and do your best to stick to it.

We've been TTC over 3 years and are gearing up for second IUI after several rounds of femara and TI.
While I would love to do IVF and have a high egg reserve, the cost is overwhelming.

People make it sound simple and tell you of friends who had luck with IVF. We looked into financing and a monthly payment would be outlandish! It's not responsible and I can't do with a guilty conscience.

These are personal and complicated decisions. I wish you and your DH the best.

susykat77 · September 2015

Another option is to consider going abroad for treatment. My husband and I decided to give it a go and figured that if it didn't work then at least we got to go somewhere. I am currently paying around $3500 (meds included) for each cycle while in the Czech Republic. Just a thought!

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