Annoying opinions?

BVal10714 · September 2015

are lots of you ladies getting opinions from coworkers or family about how you don't know what you're getting into? I want to work at home so I can be with my child and everyone just keeps saying how I wont be able to handle it.

NachosAndPeaches · September 2015

I agree that working from home is not possible unless you hire childcare. After babies are through the sleep all day stage, and especially when they're mobile, you won't be able to ignore them to do your work. Can you work from home? Absolutely! But hire a nanny.

swrastogi · September 2015

How rude! I'm sorry people are butting into your business like that...

momofmanyinthemitten · September 2015

Maybe they had a baby like my first, who cried all day and night and wouldn't let me put her down for the first 5/6 mos of her life. Working from home with her would have been an impossibility.
I think they're coming from a good place-they don't want you to be overstretched. However, I can certainly see the annoyance. I'm annoyed at the fact that my mom is upset about us having a 4th. She thinks I will be too stressed out with 4u6, but I feel confident that I will be able to handle it.

yodiggity · September 2015

When I told my sister that I plan to cloth diaper, she said, "Let's just see how long that lasts"....because she's a mf'ing expert. Everyone has an opinion and an asshole.

momofmanyinthemitten · September 2015

yodiggity said:
When I told my sister that I plan to cloth diaper, she said, "Let's just see how long that lasts"....because she's a mf'ing expert. Everyone has an opinion and an asshole.

I'm sure everyone thought the same thing about our CDing. We lasted through potty training with DD1 and we're still going with DD2.

yodiggity · September 2015

kielpinskim said:

When I told my sister that I plan to cloth diaper, she said, "Let's just see how long that lasts"....because she's a mf'ing expert. Everyone has an opinion and an asshole.
I'm sure everyone thought the same thing about our CDing. We lasted through potty training with DD1 and we're still going with DD2.

My sister has one child and had never even tried CDing. In fact, the first time she ever touched a CD was this past weekend when she was at my house and I was explaining the process to her. (I've already purchased about 10 I found on sale)

beckihall · September 2015

I feel your pain, I went through infertility and ivf. Everyone had an opinion or advice. It's enough to drive you crazy.

lorow0715 · September 2015

BVal10714 said:
are lots of you ladies getting opinions from coworkers or family about how you don't know what you're getting into? I want to work at home so I can be with my child and everyone just keeps saying how I wont be able to handle it.

I hate to be part of the annoyance but I worked from home for 3 years and didn't have a child at that time. However, there would have been no way without a nanny or someone there to assist. But I guess it depends on what your job entails. My first baby was such an easy baby but there would have been no way I would have been able to do a good job at both. So as annoying as that person may be you may want to listen. You surely need to consider if your job requires your full attention, how often are you on the phone, will it be a problem if you are dealing with something professionally and your baby starts screaming in the background. I would at he very least consider hiring a nanny to be there as well. Again, sorry to be annoying and burst your bubble.

I am having twins and I have already heard how big I am going to get and how hard having twins is. I know people, I never said it was going to be easy but you are freaking me out.

Snoflakes4eva · September 2015

BVal10714 said:

are lots of you ladies getting opinions from coworkers or family about how you don't know what you're getting into? I want to work at home so I can be with my child and everyone just keeps saying how I wont be able to handle it.

I think they have a point. You don't get to stay home and collect a paycheck while you play with your baby. Its not a way to get out of paying for childcare. If you are working at home, you still need to work. That means that you will have to hire some one to help you out while you actually work. It would be completely unprofessional to end a conference call because LO woke up from their nap early.

ETA: And, to answer your question, no. No one ever said I didn't know what I was getting myself into because I am a responsible adult who planned and saved for this baby.

sarahufl · September 2015

This is exactly why I don't tell people I am pregnant

Jules08 · September 2015

With my first, everyone offered unsolicited advice about everything.

The worst is "just wait until ____." Actually people, thanks, but I can wait. I like to enjoy exactly where we are right now.

That being said, PP's did bring up things you probably should consider if your plan is to work from home after baby is here.

pinottoparenthood · September 2015

Pretty common.... us BTDT moms think we know it all ;-) But really, when I see someone who is pregnant with her first, I get so excited that I just want to share everything! I think because my first pregnancy/birth of my son was such an AMAZING experience for me that I love to talk about it/share and am excited for the person! Mine isn't usually negative, but I'm sure occasionally a "sleeping in?? You'll never do THAT again!" slips out.

Honestly, I wouldn't take offense. Smile, nod, and move on with your life.

BVal10714 · September 2015

This post was not to have more people be negative about my plans and say I should listen to their advice. It was a simple am I the only one? So thanks but no thanks for everyone being so rude and thinking they know everything about everyone's lives and what they can handle.

jennypetunia · September 2015

I'm sorry you feel attack. But honestly reading through the comments I don't think their trying to tell you can't do or shouldn't, these pp are just trying to let you know of what to expect. I think it's great you want to work at home to be able to spend time with your baby but I also know with my job I wouldn't be able to get anything done if we didn't hire a nanny.
I wish you luck and congrats on the pregnancy.

cmjenkies · September 2015

@BVal10714 I think it is in the nature of motherhood for people to make those comments - everybody's experience is different. In your specific situation - no, you don't know what you're getting yourself into simply because you've never done it before! That doesn't mean it's wrong, but nobody can truly know until they experience specific situations for themselves. I wish you the best - I know there's no way I would be able to do that without extra help because I'm not able to divide my focus in that way. Maybe you will, who knows? Having a backup plan is never a bad idea though, no matter what you decide to do. Good luck!

AmadorRose · September 2015

It sounds like you've already decided that you don't care for opinions differing from yours, even if they're politely telling you to keep your options open since you don't know yet what to expect. If you don't want real opinions, don't ask for them.

ashleywarmington · September 2015

This post was not to have more people be negative about my plans and say I should listen to their advice. It was a simple am I the only one? So thanks but no thanks for everyone being so rude and thinking they know everything about everyone's lives and what they can handle.

**Removed for TOU Violation**

lorow0715 · September 2015

First of all, no one was an ahole. That is a ridiculous statement and quite frankly, the rudest comment on this thread. I simply was providing her with some perspective from someone who A) has worked from home and

has a child. Are women capable of so many things? you bet. Are companies willing to pay someone to care for their child while working? Absolutely not. And if you can prove me wrong, please let us all in on where to find this dream job. Being a woman and a mother is hard and I think we are amazing human beings for learning how to juggle work and children and a spouse and a social calendar. But I am also realistic. In all honesty it would be more of an injustice to say "go for it girl, you can do it" when I know better. If that makes me and the other few that said the same thing (nicely, I might add) an ahole then so be it.

Ginasheart · September 2015

I wish I could work from home but I'm in the education field. No chance of that ever happening. Do it if you can I say.

HorrorDoll · September 2015

I've had co-workers tell me what I need/should do every step of the way. I stopped bringing my pregnancy up because I'm tired of them trying to guilt me into things. Here are a few examples of things said to me: 1. (Before I was pregnant) I need to hurry up and do IVF immediately because I'm 32 and I'm not getting any younger (Okay, so I'm infertile before I even begin trying because I'm old as dirt) 2. I need to breastfeed my baby because it's the best, and I'm selfish if I don't (I didn't realize I had no choice in the matter) 3. I need to just take any old over the counter drugs for my bad morning sickness because it's okay and who cares what the dr says (I guess my co-workers are more qualified than a specialist) 4. I shouldn't come back to work after the baby is born because childcare is too expensive (ummm gee so I guess my other bills will pay themselves)

kimey1 · September 2015

@HorrorDoll I think you've listed all tHe reasons why I'll try and keep my pregnancy a secret as long as I can.

pinottoparenthood · September 2015

**Removed for TOU Violation**

jpb7712 · September 2015

The hardest thing has been keeping it a secret. I have been pressured from every side of my family to "share our wonderful news!". After having a miscarriage in January at 6 weeks I feel so blessed to have made it this far! (11w 4d) Of course I'm more than thrilled to share our news but when I'm good and ready! And yes- for everyone I've told so far, it comes with a very long list of "things I'm not prepared for". All I want to do is shout at the top of my lungs: "I fully intend to GET prepared, thank you very much!" It's been driving me nuts...

Ready4theParty · September 2015

@BVal10714, I mean no rudeness but is working from home a possibility with your job? Are you considering leaving your current job to work from home?

I am just curious as I also worked from home for several years. I am one of those people who believes in being prepared for everything. I think the advice other pps have given you is valid and something you should at least consider. I am not saying you don't know what you are getting yourself into. Your post was a little vague, and again no offense, it sounded like you wanted to find others to complain with. This board is very helpful in giving advice and other perspectives if you are willing to consider them.

rschenck14 · September 2015

Hi BVal10714,
Unsolicited advice seems to come with certain things that happen in life, dating, weddings, having babies, etc. I had to come up with my own phrase to kind of keep myself in check, "That's great, I will have to think about that". This way I don't disagree, but I also don't have to do what they say either and I don't start an argument or a discussion that I really don't feel like getting into.

Sometimes I appreciate folks advice and other times, I just am not in the mood to hear about it. I think everyone means well trying to give advice though, its just that not everything works for everyone and each person has to find their own way.

When you throw things out to people about decisions or ideas, just be prepared that you will give unsolicited advice or feedback. Most people these days are going to offer an opinion.

Good luck!

BVal10714 · September 2015

Thank you! The first kind response. I'm not asking for people's opinions. I tell them my ideas and they think that's me asking for a response

BVal10714 · September 2015

My current job will possibly allow me too. In my line of work I don't have to constantly be on the phone nor is it quota based. I have to be on the phone maybe an hour to two a day and I only plan on working at home until my little one starts to walk and at that time I would consider a nanny or day care.

CharminglySouthern · September 2015

BVal10714 said:
My current job will possibly allow me too. In my line of work I don't have to constantly be on the phone nor is it quota based. I have to be on the phone maybe an hour to two a day and I only plan on working at home until my little one starts to walk and at that time I would consider a nanny or day care.

I'm not sure what kind of work you could possibly accomplish while being the sole caregiver to a baby. Unless you are a professional tv watcher.

BVal10714 · September 2015

I never said anyone was an a*hole. All I stated was that I got an opinion. I didn't need more. Also, some jobs are pretty flexible and if you can step away for a moment to check on your child then great! Not everyone has a job like that. I don't know many people that have a job that requires a full 10 hours of attention

Lilpenguin3 · September 2015

BVal10714 said:
I never said anyone was an a*hole. All I stated was that I got an opinion. I didn't need more. Also, some jobs are pretty flexible and if you can step away for a moment to check on your child then great! Not everyone has a job like that. I don't know many people that have a job that requires a full 10 hours of attention

Are you planning on just leaving your kid in a crib for 10 hours and "stepping away for a minute to check on your child?"

You know what job needs 10 hours of attention. Stay at home mom. Babies need constant attention.
PP have been very kind in responding. Alot of them are already BTDT mom's trying to offer some input from people in the same situation.
Obviously no one is going to convince you otherwise since you have clearly made up your mind on "working from home" on whatever vague job it is that you do.

Good luck. I hope you have the perfect baby you have in your mind and you don't have a baby with collic or that will not let you put them down or one that doesn't nap so you can get paid to stay at home with your baby.

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