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Anti vax doula

oxfordlandingoxfordlanding member
in February 2016 Moms
I really like my doula. She great to talk to and has been a great source of information. I was aware that she was on the crunchy end of the spectrum, but that's OK because I'm fairly crunchy myself (considering cloth diapers and home birth, that kind of thing). However. I just took at look at her Facebook page and found what looked very much like an anti vax article. I am (very) pro vaccination and I'm now totally freaking out that I have such a major difference in viewpoint. It's also making me doubt everything else she's told me, because frankly if she believes the anti vax line then our philosophies and attitudes to science are so far apart I'm not going to trust her on anything. I have no idea how to tackle this.
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Re: Anti vax doula

  • oxfordlandingoxfordlanding member
    edited September 2015
    P.s. let's try to avoid the vaccination debate. Whether you are pro or anti vaccination this is about doula relationships not vaccinations.
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  • AchaeAchae member
    I also don't think it should be a problem, unless she's going to tackle whoever is giving LO the vaccine.
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  • cantobeancantobean member
    Tough call. You definitely want to be 100% comfortable with her, but at the same time, she's obviously going to have some different views from you.


    Vaccination for me, like you, is a huge deal. I would seriously judge someone I knew personally who was anti-vax. It would be hard for me to continue to work with a medical professional (or whatever a doula is) after that, honestly.
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  • MamaFroFroMamaFroFro member
    So you disagree on one topic? Not a big deal. If this was about epidurals I could see why it would be an issue but not sure why or how her opinion on vaccinations has anything to do with the birth process. If you agree with her on all the stuff that pertains, isn't that what is important? Also no matter how much you like someone to begin with, you shouldn't take everything they say at face value without doing your own research. Even with my doctors I will do my own research and I will be sure to do the same with my doula too. Doulas are not a substitute for researching and drawing your own conclusions. If you find her info now to be inaccurate, then I'd find a new doula.

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  • NoelBirdNoelBird member
    I think you should talk it over with her and make your opinions on vaccines regarding your baby clear. You may also want to talk about your birth plan and how she is involved, as long as you can agree here, this is what matters. Sadly there are anti-vax people who you will interact with in all matters of life. Your kids will probably have friends who aren't vaccinated and you may never know.
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  • VitaLunaVitaLuna member
    You are hiring a doula for labor/birth, not as a pediatrician. Her stance on vaccines is irrelevant. If you say you can't trust her now, then you need to go worth your gut and find someone else.

    Personally, I think it's unfair to start judging other aspects of people's lives/knowledge based on an unrelated opinion they hold. Like PP said, you will encounter many people in life whose decisions you disagree with (especially those related to parenting). Are you going to un friend all of them, too? It's a slippery slope.

    At the end of the day, you need to hire someone you're 100% comfortable with, but also keep in mind *why you're hiring them when making your decision (for L&D support, not for anything else).

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  • SoSiriusSoSirius member
    This is a hard one because despite how you theoretically shouldn't judge people on one stance, it happens. There are very few things that I judge people on strongly and someone who is spreading the anti-vax propaganda would irk me very much. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable trusting her decisions even if that comes off harsh and unfair. I could keep telling myself to trust her but I wouldn't. Thankfully, I have many options for doulas where I live. Have you already paid and signed a contract? Would you lose your money? Keep that in mind too.

    Also, what @AggieKim said.
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  • AdventureMamaAdventureMama member
    Eek, that is tough. I think I personally would look around for someone else. I had a doula for my first that I ended up asking to leave halfway through my labor...the little differences that I didn't think mattered were huge when I was in labor and it was really uncomfortable. I had other issues with her, too, but still. I think if you're inviting someone to be part of such a serious, personal experience, you should really be able to trust them. That's my two cents.
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  • strlitemissstrlitemiss member
    You might want to discuss it ahead of time so when it's time to give say the vitamin k shot she doesn't open her mouth and say something you will argue about. If you can come to an agree to disagree then stick with her. If you cannot come to an understanding then you will have your answer.
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  • AggieKimAggieKim member
    Vit K isn't a vaccine just for the record. But I agree talking about things the medical world will want to do versus what you believe in and what she believes in might be talking points. I didn't have a doula so I don't know what it's like to have one, but I figure have similar ideals on what is best and safe for baby is a good start.
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  • PedsIsHardcorePedsIsHardcore member
    I would just talk to her about it. She is a professional and if you have already hired her I would assume she will respect your opinion because it shouldn't matter. I say that as a nurse. Some people don't believe what I believe over vaxing and circ'ing and that will never cause me to care for their children any differently because all kiddos are awesome and special! She is not there to tell you what to do with your baby and what you choose to do with your baby is your choice, not hers. She is there to support you during birth and post partum care, so I would talk to her so you are both on the same wavelength.
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  • BabySeaTurtlesBabySeaTurtles member
    Like PPs said, I would talk to her about it just to avoid any future conflicts. But more importantly, the most concerning thing to me is whether she is vaccinated herself. I wouldn't want any unvaccinated person or someone who wasn't up to date on vaccines to handle my minutes old baby. Who knows what she has been exposed to or carrying especially if she has unvaccinated children in her house. I am not a medical professional but things like whooping cough/pertussis and meningitis come to my mind.



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  • strlitemissstrlitemiss member
    @AggieKim you're totally right but I find that most anti vax people are also against Vit K.
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  • AggieKimAggieKim member
    strlitemiss said:

    @AggieKim you're totally right but I find that most anti vax people are also against Vit K.

    I agree with you. Baffles me, but that's just my opinion, even though it's educated. :)
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  • alanna3622alanna3622 member
    This would be a total deal-breaker for me. Doulas need to earn trust and that means being extra informed about science and medicine.

    You will be at your most vulnerable during labour and I would want to best help at my side.

    This particular issue is not "controversial" in the world of medicine. It is the refuge of loonies, morons and rednecks.

    I would run away as fast as possible.

    Good luck
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  • kateryna72kateryna72 member
    My personal opinion is that she is a professional, so if she is acting in a professional manner she should be honoring the wishes of the mother regardless of her personal opinions. Keep in mind also that her Facebook page might be a marketing tool and she may have posted that article as something that she thought would be of interest to her other clients who are anti vax. I would just talk to her honestly about it and ask her if she is up to date on her own vaccinations. If she argues with you on the issue than it's probably time to find a new doula.
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  • sharkgirl7sharkgirl7 member
    edited September 2015
    A Doulas job is to support YOU during YOUR labor and YOUR choices. Her job also is to give you information that is well researched

    In my area, she would be welcomed because we are "crunchy". I've never met a Doulas who is pro vaccine, again, in my area.

    As for your first comment, keeping this on topic, I wish people actually followed it.

    I don't appreciate being called a loony, moron or redneck any more than some of you being called uneducated or sheep.

    IMO, I would much rather have a unvaccinated educated person being around my newborn (I said educated cause every unvaccinated person I personally know wouldn't come around a newborn if they felt they were sick) than someone who *just* got vaccinated.

    That's all I'm going to say in those replies. Maybes we should all follow op's request now, eh?
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  • sharkgirl7sharkgirl7 member
    notasycophant said:

    sharkgirl7 said:

    A Doulas job is to support YOU during YOUR labor and YOUR choices. Her job also is to give you information that is well researched

    In my area, she would be welcomed because we are "crunchy". I've never met a Doulas who is pro vaccine, again, in my area.

    As for your first comment, keeping this on topic, I wish people actually followed it.

    I don't appreciate being called a loony, moron or redneck any more than some of you being called uneducated or sheep.

    IMO, I would much rather have a unvaccinated educated person being around my newborn (I said educated cause every unvaccinated person I personally know wouldn't come around a newborn if they felt they were sick) than someone who *just* got vaccinated.

    That's all I'm going to say in those replies. Maybes we should all follow op's request now, eh?

    QFP.. just because. Also you don't get to tell people how to respond. OP hasn't complained.Why are you making it about yourself?

    Edit:grammar.
    Oh I forget, in this group you can say and do whatever you want unless it's not the popular opinion

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  • SarahS06SarahS06 member
    OP, this is a tough situation. I agree with some of the others - talk with her and see if the two of you can work things out. It sounds like the two of you had a good relationship before learning about this difference. Maybe it is worth seeing if you can salvage the relationship?

    At the same time, you should feel completely comfortable with all of your medical providers. Is it possible to begin looking into or even interviewing other doulas before you make a decision on how to handle the situation?
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    VitaLuna said:

    @PedsIsHardcore is there a single thread on this board where you don't say you're a nurse?? (Which no one actually believes, anyway)

    Ladies, put the claws away.
    There's really no reason for us to be mean to each other, even if you don't believe or like that she says something constantly. We're talking about Doulas here. Let the boards be a safe place for everyone. I think it's stuff like this that is the reason for so many anti Feb 16 boards.
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    As for the matter at hand;
    If you're really taken with her and she can respect your decisions I wouldn't worry about the stress of finding yet another doula. If you feel safe having her around to support you and baby, then a difference of opinions could stay just a difference of opinions. If you've already become accustomed to her you won't have an easy time finding another.
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    MamaFroFro said:

    thisusername said:

    VitaLuna said:

    @PedsIsHardcore is there a single thread on this board where you don't say you're a nurse?? (Which no one actually believes, anyway)

    Ladies, put the claws away.
    There's really no reason for us to be mean to each other, even if you don't believe or like that she says something constantly. We're talking about Doulas here. Let the boards be a safe place for everyone. I think it's stuff like this that is the reason for so many anti Feb 16 boards.
    We would like it to be safe as well but when a lot of us think someone on here is making up stuff and isn't who she (or possibly he) says she is, then it doesn't feel very safe.
    I can understand that. Isn't there a bit nicer way to do it though?

    I was actually kind of wondering about that though, how DO we know who everyone is? I feel like the app should be a bit more protected. Although, I'm not sure of a good way to do that either.

    Either way, I just don't like seeing people picked on, I'm a softie for it. I hope everyone is wrong and that this person isn't pretending. That'd just be scary.
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  • Kbalas1018Kbalas1018 member
    oxfordlanding said:

    I really like my doula. She great to talk to and has been a great source of information. I was aware that she was on the crunchy end of the spectrum, but that's OK because I'm fairly crunchy myself (considering cloth diapers and home birth, that kind of thing). However. I just took at look at her Facebook page and found what looked very much like an anti vax article. I am (very) pro vaccination and I'm now totally freaking out that I have such a major difference in viewpoint. It's also making me doubt everything else she's told me, because frankly if she believes the anti vax line then our philosophies and attitudes to science are so far apart I'm not going to trust her on anything. I have no idea how to tackle this.

    I understand wanting to be completely comfortable with your doula. Like others have mentioned, if you both are on the same page with everything that she will contribute to then I don't see why her opinion on other things matters. Plus, if she truly is professional then she won't let her opinions on vaccinations effect how she responds to any of your wishes... She is working for you. Maybe even mention vaccinations as part of your birth plan in order to let her know your stance without coming across confrontational. You probably won't agree 100% on every subject with anyone so as long as you feel comfortable that this person will respect your wishes then I would worry too much about it.

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  • sharkgirl7sharkgirl7 member
    AggieKim said:

    sharkgirl7 said:

    A Doulas job is to support YOU during YOUR labor and YOUR choices. Her job also is to give you information that is well researched

    In my area, she would be welcomed because we are "crunchy". I've never met a Doulas who is pro vaccine, again, in my area.

    As for your first comment, keeping this on topic, I wish people actually followed it.

    I don't appreciate being called a loony, moron or redneck any more than some of you being called uneducated or sheep.

    IMO, I would much rather have a unvaccinated educated person being around my newborn (I said educated cause every unvaccinated person I personally know wouldn't come around a newborn if they felt they were sick) than someone who *just* got vaccinated.

    That's all I'm going to say in those replies. Maybes we should all follow op's request now, eh?

    You're not very educated on diseases if you think everyone who could be carrying a disease or might be in the incubation period of a disease. Take the highly controversial Ebola issues the US faced not that long ago. Infection to onset of symptoms is 2-21 days. Ebola isn't the only thing with an incubation period. Lots of things have it, even the common flu, which, if you don't realize, February, when our babies are due, is still in the middle of flu season. So, trusting an unvaccinated person to say, "No prob, I swear I'm well," is like trusting a dirty needle going into your arm. Don't really know what's there...could be nothing, could be something. I wouldn't take that chance personally with my own life or my child who has had like no chance to develop an immune system. And I AM educated and extremely provaccine. I'll give you my resume should you really need it.
    I'm not dumb. Obviously everyone isn't going to know they are in an incubation period. This goes for everyone, including vaccinated. I'm just saying if you're clearly sick or just got vaccinated with some vaccines, you won't be around my child.

    All it takes is looking at vaccine inserts to know you aren't supposed to come into contact with young children after getting some vaccines.

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  • sharkgirl7sharkgirl7 member
    AggieKim said:

    sharkgirl7 said:

    A Doulas job is to support YOU during YOUR labor and YOUR choices. Her job also is to give you information that is well researched

    In my area, she would be welcomed because we are "crunchy". I've never met a Doulas who is pro vaccine, again, in my area.

    As for your first comment, keeping this on topic, I wish people actually followed it.

    I don't appreciate being called a loony, moron or redneck any more than some of you being called uneducated or sheep.

    IMO, I would much rather have a unvaccinated educated person being around my newborn (I said educated cause every unvaccinated person I personally know wouldn't come around a newborn if they felt they were sick) than someone who *just* got vaccinated.

    That's all I'm going to say in those replies. Maybes we should all follow op's request now, eh?

    You're not very educated on diseases if you think everyone who could be carrying a disease or might be in the incubation period of a disease. Take the highly controversial Ebola issues the US faced not that long ago. Infection to onset of symptoms is 2-21 days. Ebola isn't the only thing with an incubation period. Lots of things have it, even the common flu, which, if you don't realize, February, when our babies are due, is still in the middle of flu season. So, trusting an unvaccinated person to say, "No prob, I swear I'm well," is like trusting a dirty needle going into your arm. Don't really know what's there...could be nothing, could be something. I wouldn't take that chance personally with my own life or my child who has had like no chance to develop an immune system. And I AM educated and extremely provaccine. I'll give you my resume should you really need it.
    Plus, even educated people believe the propaganda put out by companies like the CDC instead of reading the inserts that come with the vaccines. For example, not a single flu shot has ever been fully approved for pregnant women.
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  • AggieKimAggieKim member
    sharkgirl7 said:

    AggieKim said:

    sharkgirl7 said:

    A Doulas job is to support YOU during YOUR labor and YOUR choices. Her job also is to give you information that is well researched

    In my area, she would be welcomed because we are "crunchy". I've never met a Doulas who is pro vaccine, again, in my area.

    As for your first comment, keeping this on topic, I wish people actually followed it.

    I don't appreciate being called a loony, moron or redneck any more than some of you being called uneducated or sheep.

    IMO, I would much rather have a unvaccinated educated person being around my newborn (I said educated cause every unvaccinated person I personally know wouldn't come around a newborn if they felt they were sick) than someone who *just* got vaccinated.

    That's all I'm going to say in those replies. Maybes we should all follow op's request now, eh?

    You're not very educated on diseases if you think everyone who could be carrying a disease or might be in the incubation period of a disease. Take the highly controversial Ebola issues the US faced not that long ago. Infection to onset of symptoms is 2-21 days. Ebola isn't the only thing with an incubation period. Lots of things have it, even the common flu, which, if you don't realize, February, when our babies are due, is still in the middle of flu season. So, trusting an unvaccinated person to say, "No prob, I swear I'm well," is like trusting a dirty needle going into your arm. Don't really know what's there...could be nothing, could be something. I wouldn't take that chance personally with my own life or my child who has had like no chance to develop an immune system. And I AM educated and extremely provaccine. I'll give you my resume should you really need it.
    Plus, even educated people believe the propaganda put out by companies like the CDC instead of reading the inserts that come with the vaccines. For example, not a single flu shot has ever been fully approved for pregnant women.
    Propaganda? Wow. Ok, go on believing as you wish. I'll stick with scientific proof of things. And if my handout says to be cautious, fine, I will be. But that may be a few days? Versus like 6 months? I'll take my few days and be vaccinated and just do my best, as I always do, do wash my hands often and take as best care of myself as I can.
    -Kimberly :) 
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    FunnyGal18 said:

    thisusername said:

    I think it's stuff like this that is the reason for so many anti Feb 16 boards.

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    It was directly in response to a comment, not random or related to the original post. The comment was then explained in even further detail. I still think it was a bit rough, but I understand their concern.
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  • thisusernamethisusername member
    Did you get a chance to speak with your doula? I'm interested to see how this sorts out.
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  • oxfordlandingoxfordlanding member
    edited September 2015
    I've calmed down a bit over the past few days. I'll definitely check that she is up to date herself, although not sure if that would be 100% relevant as I'll be up to date myself (?). Whooping cough vaccine doesn't seem to be a thing in Canada. I've asked a doctor and a midwife about it and they seemed not to think it was a thing. I'm not really expecting to have a debate about it with her, just more that I feel a loss of trust and I worry it will stop me truly relaxing with her during labour. On the other hand maybe I should just try to forget about it. I really don't want to go through all the hassle of finding another doula plus stress and bad feeling (we've paid a deposit). Also it's a very close knit community here so might impact other relationships. It just shook me to the core seeing it on her page.
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