i just need to complain!!

armywife8289 · September 2015

I'm only 25 weeks. I already feel massive! I feel like this is way way to early to feel this way! Just because my last one, I felt great until 32 weeks! When he dropped and I became a whale, just after Christmas. Any how 2nd pregnancies are different I know! Today, I can't seem to eat. I'm starving! But I feel full if that makes sense!!!! I'm already hardly sleeping because I'm huge, (ok, so I'm as big as I should be) my round ligaments hurt so bad. I have to sleep with a pillow under my belly or propped on my backnor its so painful! Plus migraines that last days!:( I asked the Dr. They think low iron considering its not allergies, sinus infection or any other issue we have rooted out! A terrible two year old who when I'm misrible decides its time to piss mommy off and make her life hell! Destroy my house I work hard to clean, poop his pants, wipe it all over, smash crackers all over my freshly swept floor, scream, smash toys, try and smash the TV!!! Mess with everything he's not allowed!!! Then throw himself on the floor and scream. It enrages me so much I feel like grabbing him and spanking him the bad out! I never even do but then I feel horrible by just the thought of such frustration with my kid!!! Some days I feel so bad. I just wish he would do as he is told, play by himself or sit and let me read, color, and watch TV with him. Rather try and kill me! I really want to be a happier more relaxed mom! He probably wouldn't act out as much! Any way I have to go clean my kitchen floor for the 4 the time, (not an exaduration ) and mop it, plus 3 loads of laundry. Life of a stay at home mom... Maybe I want a job.:( why is child care so expensive!!!

sassysister18 · September 2015

Oh dear!! I'm 28 weeks and feel absolutely huge too!! Rolling in bed is such a struggle and getting out of bed is hard too as my pelvis hurts and I have no belly strength anymore!! You're not alone!! I've also also got a 2 year old boy, he mucks up more when I'm feeling like crap and if I retaliate. Stay strong!!

blended10 · September 2015

I hear you! I also feel massive (stm, too) and I'm 25 weeks. My patience with my son is non existent & I'm also a sahm. A blessing and a curse! I want the house spotless but clearly that's not an option with a young son around. Some days I just give up.
When I feel I'm at my end I just put him in the car & go to the park, or our local indoor play place or to a friends for a play date - just get OUT.
Try to leave the mess- I've decided I tidy-up twice a day, laundry every 3 days, vac only once a day & clean the bathroom 2x a week. I have to just let it go sometimes or I would go nuts.
Sorry you are so frustrated - you are not alone!! I keep saying it'll all go by in a blur & then we'll be so tired we can't complain bc we can't form a thought

Catherine1021 · September 2015

Better to let it out here than on your kid. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time and I've been there. I know that my kids act out more when they aren't getting enough attention, which is difficult to give when I don't feel well. I second the play date/get out of the house idea. I used to take my kids to the park when they were just too much to handle and it really helped.

Nataliegz12 · September 2015

Umm by the title I didnt expect anything less than complaining. And sometimes everyone needs to vent, doesn't make you a bad mom because your exhausted. My little one drove me crazy today too lol, must be in air. Its hard I know, but try to enjoy the alone time you have left with him before everything changes.

kepoole · September 2015

I think we all have days where our emotions are heightened and we just need to scream. Kids are a blessing but some times can easily make you feel like you aren't the parent you want to be, even if you really are. I would look into drop in programs at least for an hour or two a week just to you can breathe. Hang in there mama

kristen2b · September 2015

armywife8289 said:
I'm only 25 weeks. I already feel massive! I feel like this is way way to early to feel this way! Just because my last one, I felt great until 32 weeks! When he dropped and I became a whale, just after Christmas. Any how 2nd pregnancies are different I know! Today, I can't seem to eat. I'm starving! But I feel full if that makes sense!!!! I'm already hardly sleeping because I'm huge, (ok, so I'm as big as I should be) my round ligaments hurt so bad. I have to sleep with a pillow under my belly or propped on my backnor its so painful! Plus migraines that last days!:( I asked the Dr. They think low iron considering its not allergies, sinus infection or any other issue we have rooted out! A terrible two year old who when I'm misrible decides its time to piss mommy off and make her life hell! Destroy my house I work hard to clean, poop his pants, wipe it all over, smash crackers all over my freshly swept floor, scream, smash toys, try and smash the TV!!! Mess with everything he's not allowed!!! Then throw himself on the floor and scream. It enrages me so much I feel like grabbing him and spanking him the bad out! I never even do but then I feel horrible by just the thought of such frustration with my kid!!! Some days I feel so bad. I just wish he would do as he is told, play by himself or sit and let me read, color, and watch TV with him. Rather try and kill me! I really want to be a happier more relaxed mom! He probably wouldn't act out as much! Any way I have to go clean my kitchen floor for the 4 the time, (not an exaduration ) and mop it, plus 3 loads of laundry. Life of a stay at home mom... Maybe I want a job.:( why is child care so expensive!!!

So your 2 year old doesn't sit still with you all day and instead wants to play. And then acts out when no one plays with him. And you think about but don't "beat the bad out of him".
Wow. I think you may want to reevaluate your day to day activities. Or get that job and send him somewhere engaging.

taysun · September 2015

Maybe you should look into finding a daycare that allows drop ins that way if you really need a break you can get one.

ACarter0914 · September 2015

Sounds like you need a mommy day or four.

breezypip · September 2015

Nataliegz12 said:
Umm by the title I didnt expect anything less than complaining. And sometimes everyone needs to vent, doesn't make you a bad mom because your exhausted. My little one drove me crazy today too lol, must be in air. Its hard I know, but try to enjoy the alone time you have left with him before everything changes.

Everyone needs to vent for sure, but it's just a little unnerving reading about a mother wanting to spank the bad out of her terrible 2 year old. I wasn't expecting that.

OP - I'm sure you don't mean all of that, but it sounds like you need to figure out a solution to that level of frustration because my guess is a new baby is going to compound that.

kristen2b · September 2015

breezypip said:

Nataliegz12 said:
Umm by the title I didnt expect anything less than complaining. And sometimes everyone needs to vent, doesn't make you a bad mom because your exhausted. My little one drove me crazy today too lol, must be in air. Its hard I know, but try to enjoy the alone time you have left with him before everything changes.
Everyone needs to vent for sure, but it's just a little unnerving reading about a mother wanting to spank the bad out of her terrible 2 year old. I wasn't expecting that.

OP - I'm sure you don't mean all of that, but it sounds like you need to figure out a solution to that level of frustration because my guess is a new baby is going to compound that.

All this. This wasn't just venting. You don't normally hear such hateful words come out of a mother's mouth toward a child.

hplunkett2883 · September 2015

kristen2b said:

breezypip said:

Nataliegz12 said:
Umm by the title I didnt expect anything less than complaining. And sometimes everyone needs to vent, doesn't make you a bad mom because your exhausted. My little one drove me crazy today too lol, must be in air. Its hard I know, but try to enjoy the alone time you have left with him before everything changes.
Everyone needs to vent for sure, but it's just a little unnerving reading about a mother wanting to spank the bad out of her terrible 2 year old. I wasn't expecting that.

OP - I'm sure you don't mean all of that, but it sounds like you need to figure out a solution to that level of frustration because my guess is a new baby is going to compound that.
All this. This wasn't just venting. You don't normally hear such hateful words come out of a mother's mouth toward a child.

If you are having this much stress with your 2 yr old how are going to manage him with a newborn? I get the feeling huge part. I get being super frustrated. But for real you can't expect a 2 yr old to sit and play quietly by himself. That is just unrealistic. He is at his peek of exploring his world and is full of curiosity. It is your job as his mom to engage him. If you need a break I suggest a babysitter or family member or even the drop in daycare thing. Look on Facebook there are bound to be mom groups near you, try hooking up with one of them. But like pp said you need to figure out something because a newborn is not going to make it any easier.

AlejandraN2 · September 2015

I think maybe you need a time out. Have someone watch your son/play with him and just take a day for yourself because all that frustration and anger is neither good for you, your baby or your son. Kids pick up on moods too and so if you're uneasy and stressed I'm sure that is reflected on your little boy too. I have a 2 year old too i know they are a handful, but really they just want to play. Maybe take a day or so away if you can. I get venting here but there was just so much negativity in your post, it's definitely not good for your health or your baby's.

blended10 · September 2015

I just want to add that I don't think you're a bad mom for voicing your frustrations. I don't think it's bad to be all "negative nancy" from time to time just to get it out. I don't think you are really going to hurt your kid or have unrealistic hopes & dreams for a moment of peace.
From your user name I'm surmising your SO isnt around & that's a hard pill to swallow. Also maybe you don't have family in the area, which is also hard.
When my son was that age sometimes i didn't have much support, either, it's hard. And sometimes money is tight which doesn't help either. Try this:
Schedule your chores so you feel more in control of what needs to get done
Turn on some music while you clean & encourage your son to "help" with a diaper wipe - turn it into a dance party!
Let him make a "mess" in the bathtub with shaving cream or pudding or finger paint - whatever - easy clean up & he gets some sensory learning out
Go for a walk, bring a bucket & draw a list of things for him to find (a rock, a stick, a pine cone- whatever) - he'll be busy with a job & you can both get some fresh air
Get pipe cleaners & a strainer - have him practice pushing the pipe cleaners through the strainer into a bucket or bowl - sounds silly but to a two-yr-old this takes serious concentration
Check out your local "y" & see if they have a "preschool" membership - typically for $15/month they will let you bring your child to open swim, play in their toddler play areas & have lots of playgroup choices during the week

Mostly just know you are not alone not a bad person for voicing your frustration. You'll get through this!!! And sticky floors are ok, too!
❤️❤️❤️

TomekiaB · September 2015

OP your name is Armywife, if your husband is deployed you should qualify for a few hours of personal time from the child development center...my husband was deployed before sequestration and before we had children but too my understanding there is still a few hours a month (I think the deployment ones are free--4 hours and offered two times per month). You can also enroll in hourly care that you pay for if you need a break at a specific time. Army community service usually has some social/playgroups too you both can attend. If you need help figuring out these services talk to "army onesource" they answer phones 24/7 or you can ask your FRG or rear detachment or talk to a military family life consultant or a chaplain they can all help you find the services you need. Bonus for Chaplain is you don't need to share their faith but they have the highest confidentiality standards so anything you say to them is privileged. Anyway, please talk to someone who can help you find some resources military life is stressful and they understand being geographicly single parenting is hard. Many kids act up when a parent is deployed or in the field since they miss them and there are resources for that too.

armywife8289 · September 2015

. Y'all I'd never actually hit my kid like that. Its all emotions! I just needed a vent. Not to be judged. Frustration got me all up. To a point if busting! Needed to get it out. Its been much better I grabbed me a mommy night. I normally don't get because I'm pretty much single momming it because of hubbys school n work. Plus I'm new at the stay at home mom thing!! I've never been w/o a job!!! Its been a crazy change!!! Thanks ladies who were compassionate and telling me I'm not alone! Those who are nasty go some where else. If u have nothing nice to say buck off! This is for support not say I'm hateful, stupid ect. That's rude uncalled for behavior!! I'd rather get my frustration out rather out on my kid. So thank you again ladies who were supportive!!

Ken122014 · September 2015

armywife8289 said:
. Y'all I'd never actually hit my kid like that. Its all emotions! I just needed a vent. Not to be judged. Frustration got me all up. To a point if busting! Needed to get it out. Its been much better I grabbed me a mommy night. I normally don't get because I'm pretty much single momming it because of hubbys school n work. Plus I'm new at the stay at home mom thing!! I've never been w/o a job!!! Its been a crazy change!!! Thanks ladies who were compassionate and telling me I'm not alone! Those who are nasty go some where else. If u have nothing nice to say buck off! This is for support not say I'm hateful, stupid ect. That's rude uncalled for behavior!! I'd rather get my frustration out rather out on my kid. So thank you again ladies who were supportive!!

I read lots of good ideas but not one word of "stupid" or "hateful". Take a deep breath, and try out some of the ideas PPs mentioned.

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