Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
maryfari
member
Re: IUI with gonal f injectibles question
My only advice (no experience in this area) is that if you're wondering why your doctor is doing what they're doing, ask them. If they can't explain why it is being prescribed, or you feel the reasoning is off, get a second opinion.
It's your body, and in the end, you have the final say.
I hope you find someone who can answer your question.
My RE would really like to see me with 3 fat follicles right before the IUI, because with my age and low reserve, there are egg quality concerns, so 3 follicles doesn't necessarily mean 3 good eggs. I'm expecting a protocol with femara, menopur, and trigger shot before my next IUI, since that's given me 2-3 follicles in the past.
One question-- if your ovulation is good, why are you doing IUI? You can tell me it's not my business, but if you're doing IUI just because you're relying on donor sperm or because your partner's sperm needs a bit of boost into the cervix, then it makes sense to maybe not use too many medications (aside from perhaps ultrasound monitoring and trigger, to make sure the timing is good). Get a second opinion, if you're not comfortable with what your RE recommends.
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
Yes, the gonal f increases the risk of multiples. Your doctor will likely plan to do an ultrasound before the IUI, and if you have too many follicles, you might cancel the IUI to the avoid the risk of too many.
But of course, talk to your doctor about this and don't just rely on my word. I know that my doctor is very cautious about using injectibles with IUIs because of the risk. Since I'm over 35 and have low reserve, I'm one of the lucky few who get injectibles under her care. She still keeps me on a low dose compared to what some women get. My protocol is femara, menopur or bravelle, and trigger shot (and progesterone, after the IUI).
My next IUI (#6) will also be around Sept 30.
There is a very active (so active, it's hard to keep up) thread on the Infertility board with women getting September IUIs.
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
I was not aware of the September iui board. I will most definitely check it out.
I wish all of three of us the best of luck for this iui cycle
here's the link: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12612276/september-iuis#latest
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)