When my friend is pregnant, and it feels good to hear...

KLake42 · September 2015

Okay, so when my best friend talks about how she got pregnant the very first time she and her husband put away birth control, it's annoying. And I tell her so.

But recently, I've heard pregnancy announcements from two friends, and it somehow doesn't make me feel all mean and nasty and selfish (which is a normal reaction for those of us struggling to conceive). Why does it feel good to hear?

Because both of them are older than me (just over the 40 mark), and both of them have fought the good fight, with multiple IVF attempts. And it finally worked.

It feels like in an inspiration to know that it *is* possible for people who are struggling to actually make it happen! This isn't about abstract statistics. People I know and love are managing to get knocked up, even when their ovaries are a bit old and dusty like mine.

One of these friends, I ran into at the waiting room for my last IUI! She was there for some final bloodwork before her FET. And it was going to be her absolute last chance. And it worked! And this is just weeks after another friend got pregnant on her absolutely last-chance FET.

Somehow, seeing them make it, helps me feel like I could get there, too. One way or another...

I know I've seen some of you feel a little less than celebratory when you see one announcement after another on social media, but does it do something different for you when you see it happen for someone who has really fought for it?

carrieandr · September 2015

Yes, it definitely makes a difference for me. I love seeing people on this board get pregnant, particularly if they've had a rough time getting there.

I feel guilty about that, because I should just be happy for everyone, but right now that's hard. Hopefully someday I'll have kids and I can just be happy anytime I see a pregnancy announcement or an ultrasound pic.

jilligan14 · September 2015

I totally agree with this! I'm sooooo happy when a fellow Bumpie gets pregnant because I know that they've worked hard and struggled to get there. It's not that I want everyone to struggle, it's just so annoying and frustrating when some people are like, "oops, we weren't even trying!" I also agree that it's inspiring to see other women not giving up, continually working against all odds, and then finally achieving their goal. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but then I hear a success story that makes me cry and I have a renewed sense of hope.

Whiggrrl65 · September 2015

Thanks for posting this @KLake42 It does make me happy and inspired to hear when women that have struggled finally get their BFPs and they stick.

emsmama15 · September 2015

Thanks for sharing this @KLake42. It gives me hope! =D>

dolphin012 · September 2015

Thanks for sharing @KLake42. The timing was good for me. After the transfer we had yesterday we will have one more FET left. Gives me hope

(although I really want this one to work and not have to go down to the very last one!).

kellymarie8408 · September 2015

I'm with you, I'm also happy for my older friends who get preggo! I'm a firm believer in karma... So I'm praying that my happiness and support come back around for me :x

C_Girlie · September 2015

When/if I know the couple had fertility issues I'm very happy for them. It does give me hope. It's the baby factory machines that makes me jealous. Good thread @KLake42 =D> =D>

emsmama15 · September 2015

I found out today that my dear friend is pregnant. She lost her daughter in March at 21 weeks. I've been praying that she would get pregnant right away - she's SUPER fertile, first month trying all three times now. I hugged her and said I was happy for her and walked away. Went into the bathroom at work and just took a few breaths and thought about it. I realized I'm just SO freaking happy for her that she doesn't have to deal with trouble getting pregnant on top of everything else she's gone through. And I so appreciated her telling me first. I'm sure it was hard for her to figure out how to tell me, so I'm glad she was brave and just did it.

I really want to be able to support her because this pregnancy is going to be so nerve-wracking for her and she's going to need me.

ladeuce13 · September 2015

@KLake42 thanks for this. There were a ton of BFPs last week on the TTGP board and I really struggled with envy ... But I was still happy for them.

I've reached a point where I sometimes feel like it's never going to happen, so your post today gave me a bit of a lift.

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