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October 2015 Moms
Knottie16288692
member
Ever notice how pregnancy brings out the worst in other people?
Knottie16288692
member
So here I am, due in 6 weeks. While being pregnant I have endured a lot of harsh words. 4 weeks in my dad told me maybe I would be lucky and lose my baby because he doesn't like my husband. It took me a while to forgive him for that. My sister has been dating this guy and now all she talks about is getting married and having a baby. Of course I want that for her. But, everytime I turn around she is always spouting off I would make a better mom then you or telling me how I need to do things or my expectations of having a semi organized home with a newborn are high. My sister is 8 years older then me and has even expressed how jealous she is of the fact I'm married and pregnant. I try to be considerate of her feelings but I don't feel like I shouldn't enjoy my blessings because the time isn't right for her. Today was the final straw. She decided to throw me a shower two months ago. She invited all of our family and my close friends. She stopped there. My shower is Saturday. I'm using decorations given to me from my previous shower. I reassembled my diaper cake from that shower. I came up with games to play.
And now my mom is having to buy the food because my sister doesn't have money for it. This all comes out two days before my shower. People have already bought gifts and RSVP'd. My grandmother was just put in the hospital for congestive heart failure. There isn't anything the doctors can do but try to make her comfortable and take the fluid off of her. She's not a canidate for surgery. We are not close. My sister sends me a text and says I'm thinking we should postpone the shower because grandma won't be there. Also that she won't be able to see her boyfriend this weekend because he had a photography gig that he will be attending. Do I feel bad that my grandma won't be able to come because she's in the hospital? Yes. Do I also feel like I'm being brushed off by my older sister when this is supposed to be the happiest time in my life and I want to celebrate with her? Yes.
I never air my laundry on these sort of things but I'm at a loss. Would you be offended or do you think I'm acting like a spoiled brat for not thinking of my grandma?
And now my mom is having to buy the food because my sister doesn't have money for it. This all comes out two days before my shower. People have already bought gifts and RSVP'd. My grandmother was just put in the hospital for congestive heart failure. There isn't anything the doctors can do but try to make her comfortable and take the fluid off of her. She's not a canidate for surgery. We are not close. My sister sends me a text and says I'm thinking we should postpone the shower because grandma won't be there. Also that she won't be able to see her boyfriend this weekend because he had a photography gig that he will be attending. Do I feel bad that my grandma won't be able to come because she's in the hospital? Yes. Do I also feel like I'm being brushed off by my older sister when this is supposed to be the happiest time in my life and I want to celebrate with her? Yes.
I never air my laundry on these sort of things but I'm at a loss. Would you be offended or do you think I'm acting like a spoiled brat for not thinking of my grandma?
Re: Ever notice how pregnancy brings out the worst in other people?
Thanks! I've learned to tolerate my family as much as I can. My mom has been awesome through all of this and she is genuinely happy about the baby coming. My dad is more excited about the baby as well but still angry that I married someone that didn't fit the mold he created for my future husband lol. My sister and I are usually very close. Its just until recently she met this guy and it feels like a competition. My mom and I have discussed the shower and she offered to take over. She found some really cute ideas for games as well and door prizes. Its her mother in the hospital, and she told me we would not be postponing the shower. She even tried to see if we could bring the shower to my grandma, but since her condition is risky, she needs rest. I am having to buy food but I don't mind. The thing that irritates me is my sister is hacked off because she didn't get involved in the plans we made as of last night. First she doesn't have money, then she wants to postpone so she can spend a couple of hours with her boyfriend, and then she gets mad when someone else takes over and fixes her mess!
Perhaps you are right, shineysasha. It might not bring out the worst in other people, but it sure does bring about some of the craziest family drama! In just this past year, I could write a best seller based on all the drama I have been through with my family! I have the mindset now that I'm creating my own little family. I love my husband who spoils me endlessly, we love our son, and we are excited about what our future holds. They can be apart of that or they can keep their distance. It just really hurts that my sister who has been there through thick and thin cant be there for me right now out of jealousy. She may not be a mom, but I would love for her to be an aunt.
That being said, I don't agree with how your sister is handling it. We've all felt jealous before but when you act like that & cause problems, you just make yourself look dumb! Thank goodness for your mom for stepping in to help! Try not to stress and just try to make the best of it. Yes, you should have food but people don't expect the world. And if you don't have a lot elaborate games, who cares. People just want to see you & celebrate the baby! Remember all the people that RSVP'd and want to celebrate you & your little one....and enjoy your shower!!
Oh, and I wouldn't worry about the grandma situation. I'm sure she would want you to enjoy your day! And people already made plans to attend, I think it would be more rude to cancel for a situation that you can't change!