Family Name Dilemma

sjecc09 · September 2015

My husband and I are expecting baby #1 and my husband, his father, and grandfather share the same name. Neither have great nickname options that I can think of. Do any of you have suggestions for nicknames for a baby boy named Stanley Frank ____? I don't love it and need a NN option! We aren't finding out the gender of baby, but my husband really wants to use the name.

kayway85 · September 2015

Ooof, that is an antiquated sounding name. Can you give him the first name Stanley and opt for a more
Contemporary middle name, at least he could go by it if he Chooses? That's tough.

Stanley nicknames... Yikes. Um, how about just calling him Lee? Stan is so used cars salesman to me (sorry, I know it's a family name)

elle313 · September 2015

Stan and Frankie are the only ones I see there.

herewegrow · September 2015

Frankie? Lee? SF?

Smax0822 · September 2015

S.J = Stan jr. ?

Gingermom15 · September 2015

Tan? It's the only other NN I can think of. My nephew is Tanner and people call him Tan, it's not a terrible NN.

sjecc09 · September 2015

I know! I just can't imagine looking at a baby and calling him Stanley! I don't know how to tell my husband that I really don't like the name and would prefer something different entirely. Stanley Frank ____ IV is such a big (old) name for a little person.

Iznik · September 2015

I vote Frankie?? I think it's your best option, but it's certainly annoying to go by your middle name (I know).

jeanbug12 · September 2015

Is grandfather still living? If he isn't then your son is technically a third, as everyone moves up a spot when Sr passes. In which case there are some cute nicknames for a thrid (Trey or Trip). Otherwise, I like Lee the best!

kmkrushi · September 2015

I actually love the nn Frankie. What does your husband go by?

herewegrow · September 2015

jeanbug12 said:
Is grandfather still living? If he isn't than your son is technically a third, as everyone moves up a spot when Sr passes. In which case there are some cute nicknames for a thrid (Trey or Trip). Otherwise, I like Lee the best!

I'd never heard that! My dad and brother are 3rd and 4th, but have always been that since Sr ended up not even being who he said he was and skipped out (long, crazy story) before my dad was even born. Regardless, OP, you could also do a fourth nickname... Or give him a second middle name to call him by?

blush64 · September 2015

I would not use the name. I would come to a compromise with my husband, a name we both want. It isn't only my choice but it isn't only up to him either.

If you don't mind using the name I think PA had ok ideas. (Lee - although I don't really think that's a nickname for Stanley it could work) I also think Frankie is ok.

sjecc09 · September 2015

My husband goes by Stashie (Polish for Stanley - he had a Polish babysitter that gave him the NN). Thanks for the suggestions, ladies! I think I like Frankie the best, but hopefully we can avoid using the name altogether. I keep teasing him and telling him it won't matter because the baby is probably a girl!

saham07 · September 2015

i LOVE LOVE LOVE Frank and Frankie! Please use Frankie

jeanbug12 · September 2015

herewegrow said:

jeanbug12 said:
Is grandfather still living? If he isn't than your son is technically a third, as everyone moves up a spot when Sr passes. In which case there are some cute nicknames for a thrid (Trey or Trip). Otherwise, I like Lee the best!
I'd never heard that! My dad and brother are 3rd and 4th, but have always been that since Sr ended up not even being who he said he was and skipped out (long, crazy story) before my dad was even born. Regardless, OP, you could also do a fourth nickname... Or give him a second middle name to call him by?

Unless you are royalty, you are supposed to move up when the oldest dies. I am not sure a lot of people know that anymore and actually do it, and it seems like it would cause some confusion when you did.

satuttle1014 · September 2015

Stan is the only nn that I can think of. I knew a Stanley in hs and he went by Stanley or Stan.

MyCousinVinny · September 2015

To be completely honest, if you don't truly like the name, I would veto it and work on finding a name that you both like. I understand your DH wanting to keep with the tradition but I don't see that as a good enough reason for you to abandon any names that you like. You both had a hand in creating the baby, you both have equal naming rights.

Now, as a compromise, you can come up with a first name together and then choose Stanley or Frank as a MN. I'm assuming the baby is also getting his last name, right?

I love my husband dearly but I would never name my child something I didn't like, no matter how much he loved it. Compromise is key.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · September 2015

MyCousinVinny said:

To be completely honest, if you don't truly like the name, I would veto it and work on finding a name that you both like. I understand your DH wanting to keep with the tradition but I don't see that as a good enough reason for you to abandon any names that you like. You both had a hand in creating the baby, you both have equal naming rights.

Now, as a compromise, you can come up with a first name together and then choose Stanley or Frank as a MN. I'm assuming the baby is also getting his last name, right?

I love my husband dearly but I would never name my child something I didn't like, no matter how much he loved it. Compromise is key.

This. My first thought when I read this was, if you don't love the name it should be off the table. It's your child too and both parents need to like the name. Your DH doesn't get the only/final say. Especially if, as I assume, the baby gets his family name as a LN. Instead of finding a nickname for a name you don't like, I think you need to have a serious talk with your husband and find a name you both like. No one should look at their child and hate its name.

mrstrax · September 2015

Maybe a compromise of a name flip if you like Frankie, so Frank Stanley "—" and you could nn Frankie while he's little. Not quite as old man and then he gets to go by his given name but he also gets the history of the family name.

MamaWren919 · September 2015

I'd veto it. My sister-in-law had to go through the same thing when naming nephew. Sorry people, the name has to stop somewhere! I'd be willing to compromise by using one of the names as a middle name, but I wouldn't name my son something old and awful.

jessilee15 · September 2015

Similar situation; we went with the family first name and I got to pick the middle name. Everyone was really happy - including DH's dad and grandfather. and he goes by his middle name

dramaphile · September 2015

Since he'd be a fourth, what about Dru (from quadruple) or Ivy (IV)? Quad is a bit much. Maybe a bit of a reach, but it could work. Too bad he's not a fifth, the nicknames are much better: Quinn or Quint.

blockedrose · September 2015

Stan, Lee, Stanny etc or you could just call him by his middle name which may help lessen any confusion since this is a family full of Stans

Elsa1984 · September 2015

I am not a big fan of bringing down the name, however, sometimes when it has gone that far...I would feel bad being the one that broke it up. If I was having to name my son Stanley Frank, I would totally call him Frank. For some reason, it gives me the old man feel, like Jack/Hank/Archie do....which I totally love. Frank is something that isn't being used a lot right now, so he wouldn't have to deal with going to school with a lot of other kids with the name.

I know someone that is giving her son a name that is TOTALLY not her style (and doesn't have very many good nicknames), because of the tradition (and because it has gone on as long as it has), for their first born. However, since her husband knows that it is not her style, she gets 100% dibs on the second child's name, and he is giving up his veto rights. She was willing to compromise on that, given that she knows how important it is to not only her husband, but to his dad, and grandfather, and so on. Her mother-in-law went through the same thing, not loving the name, but they gave it to their first child (who ended up being a son), and she got to pick out the name of their second child (who also ended up being a son), although she did still want her husband's input in the end, so she picked three names and let her husband pick the one he liked out of the three.

Knottie1442268460 · September 2015

You get 100% dibs on next one. But, what if there's no next?

A compromise is to pick one family name & you choose the middle. Make it a name he'd like to go by if he doesn't like Stanley or any deviations of it. You get to pick the next baby's first name and he can pick the middle.

Stanley isn't that bad. Flat Stanley the book is popular I think. Personally I'd just call him Stanley.

Gingermom15 · September 2015

Elsa1984 said:
I am not a big fan of bringing down the name, however, sometimes when it has gone that far...I would feel bad being the one that broke it up. If I was having to name my son Stanley Frank, I would totally call him Frank. For some reason, it gives me the old man feel, like Jack/Hank/Archie do....which I totally love. Frank is something that isn't being used a lot right now, so he wouldn't have to deal with going to school with a lot of other kids with the name.

I know someone that is giving her son a name that is TOTALLY not her style (and doesn't have very many good nicknames), because of the tradition (and because it has gone on as long as it has), for their first born. However, since her husband knows that it is not her style, she gets 100% dibs on the second child's name, and he is giving up his veto rights. She was willing to compromise on that, given that she knows how important it is to not only her husband, but to his dad, and grandfather, and so on. Her mother-in-law went through the same thing, not loving the name, but they gave it to their first child (who ended up being a son), and she got to pick out the name of their second child (who also ended up being a son), although she did still want her husband's input in the end, so she picked three names and let her husband pick the one he liked out of the three.

I LOVE "old man" sounding names. My boy is going to be Henry and I can't decide if I love the NN Hank more than the real name

klirwin82 · September 2015

Yeah, I would feel pretty bad about being the one who broke the chain of Stanley Frank, obviously it means a lot to his side of the family. Not like it's just a Jr. or something. Compromising also sometimes means letting things like that go, on your end.

I love Frankie as a NN, totally adorable.

And aren't you Team Green? I'd agree to SF if it's a boy and you get 100% choice for the girl name option...

sjecc09 · September 2015

@klirwin82 Yes, team green! I think you've proposed the best plan yet! When we first got married we were talking about kids names (randomly) and we both found a girl name we like. However, my taste has changed a bit and I have a coworker with a little girl with the same name. He still loves it. If it's a boy, he chooses. If it's a girl, I'm taking veto power and choosing a name I love!

Elsa1984 · September 2015

sjecc09 said:

@klirwin82 Yes, team green! I think you've proposed the best plan yet! When we first got married we were talking about kids names (randomly) and we both found a girl name we like. However, my taste has changed a bit and I have a coworker with a little girl with the same name. He still loves it. If it's a boy, he chooses. If it's a girl, I'm taking veto power and choosing a name I love!

My friends did that with their kids names. It wasn't about bringing down the name, but there weren't any boy names that she absolutely loved (and she was pregnant with a boy). So he picked the boy name, and they decided that she would pick the name for their second. She had a name that she loved for a girl, and her husband didnt have a name that he loved for a girl, and if the second ended up being a boy, then maybe there would be a boy name she would love by the time they had to name kid #2. They ended up having a girl second, so in the end, both got to use names that they loved...and it worked out for them.

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