Anyone else scared?

sdashergreen · September 2015

I have had mixed emotions about being excited and scared at the same time. I am 29 years old, married, financially comfortable, and first pregnancy. I have reached most of my personal milestones, but I am still incredibly scared of the life I will live from now on.
Pregnancy is a huge life change, I'm not sure I'm ready to completely grow up yet and take care of another life for the next 18+ years of my life. I want more time to explore life, travel, get up and go. I'm afraid my life is over now, and I will be just another mom. I've told myself at times "what did you get yourself into?" I even get nervous when I go into the baby stores. I know my husband wanted more time as well to be young and free.
The baby is coming though and were getting ready for what life has in store for us now. We are happy to be growing a piece of our love together, but its still scary.
Please no negative replies, I am only venting my feelings, and perhaps reaching out to someone that feels the same or has felt the same before.

blockwitz7789 · September 2015

It's normal to be scared of how your life will change! You're right that you can't just get up and go anymore and that you won't be able to do the type of traveling that you're probably used to.

With that being said, once your child is here you won't be able to imagine your life any other way, there is never a "right" time to have a child in your life! Your feelings are normal and valid, enjoy the alone time you two have now!

kristint12912 · September 2015

I was about your age when I became pregnant with my first. I felt a lot like you are feeling now. I thought, "wow, my life isn't just about me anymore. I have to really be an adult and not just play the roll when I needed to." It took me a few months to come to grips with the fact that my selfish years are over. It made me appreciate the times when I could come home from work and just take a nap and just veg out watching adult shows durring the day.

But the new life I have is hard work but it's pretty awesome. Once I saw my baby, I knew I wouldn't have any problems taking care of her.

Don't feel bad or guilty because you are nervous about the changes that are going to happen. It's just the way you have to process the change. If going to Babies R Us is overwhelming right now, then don't go. You can do all that when you are ready to. Just do what you want to do and as you get further along, things won't be so overwhelming if you take it at your own pace.

Having kids is a blessing, truly, but it is quite a huge change and it's ok to hang back and take it slow. That's why god made pregnancy last 9 months IMO.

erind228 · September 2015

I think being afraid of how things will change is normal. I worry about how this baby will change our family dynamic and routine. Yes, your life is about to change, but I promise it will be even more amazing than it was prior to having your baby. Just enjoy your pregnancy, and try not to worry too much about what is to come. Everything will fall into place!

CCLow87 · September 2015

Until kids are in school, they're pretty easy to get up and go with! So you still have a few years. Get comfortable with baby wearing and you can literally lead a life just like you are now, most likely, with baby along for most of it.. and have your hands free! I understand though completely. I have my other two kids every other week and my new husband and I jet set all over the place to parties, events, vacations, etc. Or I have free solo nights to go have drink with girlfriends or watch the Bachelor without a baby on my boob. I get nervous about giving all that up sometimes as well.

cmerribury · September 2015

I'm terrified and I already have a son! So what you are feeling is totally normal. You can still be an adventurer with your little one...I think kids rasied in homes where travel and seeing the world is a priority grow up with the most amazing sense of wonder and respect for the world we live in. I know it sounds trite, but when you hold that little one, it will all click into place.

RoseShadow873 · September 2015

I feel the same way. I don't know if I'm up to the challenge! I'm also trying to finish my second bachelor's degree right now and will probably have to miss a term to have the baby. There is going to already be so much craziness in the next few years and with a baby? I'm definitely worried.

Ready4theParty · September 2015

It's normal. Being a 2nd time mom, I can tell you that motherhood is what you make it. You don't have to be JUST a mom if you don't want to. LIke pp said you can just pick up the kid and go. We decided we were going to stop living just because we had a kid.

sdashergreen · September 2015

Thank you everyone, this does help alot to know others have felt or feel the same way. My mother gives me the same advice that many of you did. Eventually everything will fall into place and when I see that face I will love the baby more than could have been imagined.

pinottoparenthood · September 2015

Your life will change, and it's normal to be afraid and apprehensive. However, to say that you life is "over" is just not true... and is shortchanging your future child/family!! Yes, it may feel that way in the VERY beginning when you are at home with a newborn who nurses every two hours some days... but that stage is so short in the grand scheme of things. I LOVE my life with my son! We can do so much as a family and I get so much more joy out of watching him experience things for the first time. We also have friends that have kids so that has sort of opened up whole new relationships and options for us. And there's always grandparents and/or babysitters for date nights and nights out. Honestly I love my life so much MORE now... it's hard to imagine how my heart is even going to open up to fit another kiddo because I love my family so much. But I know it will :-) So try not to worry and know that the crazy newborn stage might leave you feeling trapped for a little while, but it will pass before you know it and you might even find yourself missing those lazy snuggly days.

pinottoparenthood · September 2015

Also, I just want to point out that you can't really request "no negative" responses to your posts. I understand you are looking for support, but there will always be someone who disagrees with you and/or is offended or riled up by something you say. That's just sort of the way it is... and the bump has its share of snark and sarcasm. So I would recommend to take the good with the bad and learn to let it roll off your back.

kimey1 · September 2015

I'm in my mid 30s, been around the world, done the backpacking, done the career climb, and recently got married. Am I terrified? Absolutely! I don't feel grown up yet so how am I to raise a child? But then again, I feel like we're all growing old together and nobody knows what's coming forward anyways.

After losing our first in a mmc this Spring, I've put all things aside and cut back on work and everything else to make sure this one will stick with us till we meet smiling. There are days when I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing by putting everything else on the back burner, but if this little one can make it happy and healthy, I don't think I'll regret any bit of it. Work and all other things can always come second.

mountainsmama · September 2015

Baby stores are basically the worst, so that is totally normal

klingonboxer · September 2015

I feel exactly the same way, and I feel crappy about it because we had been TTC for over a year but now I'm like WHAT WERE WE THINKING!

I know it'll be wonderful and worth it and everything but yeah, SUPER SCARY.

foxbaby2016 · September 2015

I feel the same way....I actually feel like I wrote your post because my feelings are so similar.....

I've been feeling terrible about feeling this way because everyone is saying how blessed we are. We weren't trying so it was a huge surprise for us. I KNOW we are blessed but I also can't help but feel a little sad about losing our freedom and the "get up and go" life we've built together. We have been together for over 8 years but we have only been married for 4 months so I feel like we didn't get the opportunity to spend time as a married couple together. I'm also terrified that a baby will push us apart...we have an amazing relationship right now but I've seen it happen so many times because of the stress and financial burden of a baby.

Anyways....I'm almost 11 weeks at this point and it's getting better week by week. I'm starting to get excited and my husband is over the moon....he's going to be a great dad. I'm still nervous but I know how blessed we are and I know we will make it work no matter how tough things get. Best of luck! We can do this! Congrats to you!!

Julesby · September 2015

As pp have said, it's totally normal to feel this way.

We conceived our first month of trying (I feel guilty saying that), so we are both still a bit shocked about becoming parents. But, with every day that passes, we become more comfortable. We are excited to join our siblings and friends in the parent club and to define our new life with our LO. Still shocked and scared, but excited, too

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