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February 2016 Moms
suteki325
member
Vent about buying things for the baby.
suteki325
member
Not really a question being asked here, more of a vent for me! Bear with me - it's been eating away at me for a few days now, and I need to vent it out.
Last week, DH and I went to buybuyBaby and used a bunch of gift cards we had (they were Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards - we had gotten a ton of them from our wedding back in May). We bought a Graco travel system that we both loved. We were so excited, as this was our first big baby purchase. I posted a picture on Facebook of DH at the store with the travel system in the cart, saying something like, "First big baby purchase!"
Not even two seconds after I posted it, I got a FLOOD of comments from people saying things like, "What are you doing?! You're not supposed to buy the big stuff until AFTER the baby shower!" "People will buy that stuff for you!" Etc. It made me so mad. First off, I don't expect ANYONE to buy us the "big stuff" (crib, dresser, car seat, stroller, etc). DH and I are grown adults, financially stable, and more than able to support our own child. Second off, we don't really have a lot of close family/friends who would even VOLUNTEER to buy us the bigger items (possibly my parents will, and his own, but that's it). So for people to just assume that I would have people buy those things for me, and that I should EXPECT people to buy those things for me, really made me angry.
Whew. Vent over. I feel better already.
Re: Vent about buying things for the baby.
I learned in July that different people view this whole "purchasing of baby goods thing" very differently after getting into a large disagreement with my MIL about used vs non used items.
I decided to bend my desire for mostly used items but it's your decision and people don't buy you big things because you expect it of them, it's just what some people like (and can afford) to do.
*Kate*
February 2016
My ILs really wanted to get the carseat, and my mom the crib. They both would've been disappointed if we had purchased them ourselves.
It's not a big deal that you bought something and are excited about it. But I also don't think there's a need to be angry at people for wanting to buy you things, too.
DD1: 9/19/11
DS: 1/1/14
DD2: 1/31/16
I don't think it's so much that they mean "other people will buy them for you" as it is, by you buying so much ahead of time makes it really hard for guests at your shower to purchase things. Nobody likes buying baby hangers and bath soap. I recently went to a shower where she had literally EVERYTHING already and I sat there wondering why she even had a shower because she didn't need anything. It was basically like a get together to watch her open clothes & books.
Ps. I somewhat agree that you should wait..because then you can use your completion coupon ;-)
We're going to IKEA to buy our crib/dresser.
Married since 8/7/10
My bff told me the other day that i could "totally have another shower, esp if this one is a boy". Im glad she doesnt live too close because i really dont feel comfortable with a shower for #2. We can handle things ourselves.
A bassinet may be useful for the first few months if you plan to nurse--having the baby right next to your bed makes nursing easier, and newborns like to sleep in smaller spaces than a crib at first. However, other devices can fill this role (pack-n-play, rock-n-play, cradle, co-sleeper, etc).
Some babies really like to be in something that vibrates or bounces, and for some it is the only thing that soothes them. A lot of moms on here have recommended the rock-and-play, which is pretty affordable ($40-$75). There are other devices that range from around $40 to $200. It's not necessary, but many moms say it was the only thing their baby slept in for weeks or months!
Baby bath tubs are for baby's safety and to make washing easier and they range from very cheap to quite fancy/pricy. There are some smaller, foldable "tubs" that are meant to fit right in your sink.
Baby should not have any pillows in the crib, this is a risk factor for SIDS. However, if you're nursing, some women swear by the Boppy or the My Brestfriend pillows to facilitate nursing. From what I've read here, nursing is no walk in the park, so anything that will make it easier is worth the expense in my opinion!
Baby towels may not be necessary, but they are so darn cute! Since baby's head will get cold easily, you may want to get a couple of hooded towels to keep baby warm right out of the bath. Baby towels tend to be a little softer than most adult towels for their sensitive skin. I would skip baby wash cloths, though.
As far as strollers go, many are part of a travel system which means that the infant car seat that comes with it clicks into the stroller. If you have a travel system you will still need a base for the car seat to use in the car. The car seat base clicks into the car's LATCH system which is a lot safer than using the seat belts as there is less room for human error. And before you ask what LATCH is, if you go and look in your vehicle, you will most likely see tiny little car seat or anchor symbols where the backs of the seats meet the seat part you actually sit on (and also either above the seat or on the back depending on your vehicle for later when you switch baby out of a rear facing seat). If you feel around these symbols, you feel some very solid metal anchors where the car seat base hooks on. It's very simple to use once you figure it out.
As far as bassinets and cradles, those are extra places for baby to sleep when they are still very small. I would venture to say that moms usually keep these in their own room for the late night feedings and changes or just to keep baby closer. This is not an essential piece of equipment. Some moms do not use these and just use the regular crib.
A play yard (also can be referred to as a Pack'n'Play) is basically a portable crib or a contained place for baby to play. It folds up and is transportable if baby will be sleeping or spending some time outside of the house like Grandparents' or if you are outside in the yard you can set it up and baby will be within sight and safe. Some come with attachments for a changing table or nappers or storage for when baby is very small. Some moms use these in place of a bassinet/cradle as well. Again, purely optional piece of equipment but one that can potentially be used through toddler-hood.
The bouncers, exer-saucers, jumperoos are also optional. Good toys for baby who is learning to stand and serves as a place for baby to stay while Mommy gets stuff done.
I am not sure which kind of pillow you are referring to but I think it's a nursing pillow. This is also optional but I personally recommend it since you are a FTM. After you get the hang of breastfeeding and find it unnecessary then oh well, but better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. I personally used it the entire time I breastfed.
For bath tubs, that's up to you. Some people use them a lot and some not at all. We personally only used the baby bath tub until DS' cord fell off. Then H just got in the regular tub and bathed him while holding him.
Towels are again, optional but just keep in mind that baby towels usually have hoods to keep baby warm and the fabric is much softer for that soft baby skin.
Whew. I think I got it all...
Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
Most of my friends are still in college... no one but my parents and his can even come close to buying some of our big ticket items.
Surprise BFP! 06/08/15
Nadine GraceMarie 02/10/16
Diagnosed with placenta increta post delivery: emergency partial hysterectomy - cervix and ovaries still intact
Gestational surrogacy or adoption TBD