- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
July 2015 Moms
MommaKat37
member
Need to vent! Beyond livid. Really long post.
MommaKat37
member
First of all, if cursing offends, Plz stop reading cause it's likely.
But I need to say this somewhere and get it off my chest before I say something I'll regret later.
My son is 2 months old today. Yesterday I took him to my nephews 14th birthday party. When I got there my sister and I had a discussion about how I did not want him to have anything besides breast milk/formula. Her opinion was he should have something at 3 months. I told her if she didn't follow what I wanted, I would keep him away from her till he was 6 months. Not to mention that we've talked many times before about how what the mom says, goes (regarding her kids).
Well, while I was inside and she had the baby, she gave him some mashed potatoe salad. Then her husband (who is my DH's twin brother) decided to give him icing from the birthday cake.
Now, I'm 38 and have had 2 miscarrages, and I've been trying to have a baby for about 15 years. My son is my only child and I can't have another. She knows how long overdue waited for him and considered being a surrogate mother for me because I couldn't have a baby for so long.
On top of that, I was supposed to get to be a stay at home mom. Have been thrilled about it since I got pregnant with him, and now I need a job pretty badly cause DH's work has kind of dried up.
So now I already know I'm going to be missing a lot of firsts... And I just have to deal with it. But I didn't have to miss his first food or his first sweet. I am heartbroken and feel like they took that away from me. Not to mention the blatant going against what I wanted. So I don't know how he reacted, didn't get to see his face, didn't get to decide what it would be, or get a picture of it. I was completely left out of his first food and sweet.
Now, as if that's not bad enough, I first found out that her husband gave him icing. I was upset, but he wasn't involved with any of our discussions so harder to be upset with him... Then I find out from the kids that she gave him the potato... So I started getting his things together to leave. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I didn't wanna talk about it. So a couple mins later, she has the audacity to say,"I'm sorry, if I'd known I would have stopped him". I just looked at her and said whatever, they told me u gave him potato. She said she was sorry,and that she really didn't give him enough to even register with him. I told her that I knew I was going to miss a lot with going to work and I didn't have to miss this... So she says she didn't know that was my reasoning, she just thought "I was doing the mommy thing". What the hell, so she did it just to spite me, and why even bother if it wasn't enough for him to taste... Like she earned the right to make that decision. So I left it there and just went home, 2 1/2 hours away, and cried the whole way home.
Then I posted on Facebook that he had it and who gave him what. And she again defended herself saying it wasn't enough to count.
I just want to scream!!! Then why the f*** did you give him anything?!? Just to take it away from me, for bragging rights? Is she the expert cause she has 3 kids? 3 kids who fight all the time and that she hides away in her room reading to escape their attitudes? How dare she defend it?!? Especially hours after I explicitly told her what I wanted... I can't get those firsts back... I don't even know which happened first or if he liked any of it... I'm just throughly pissed off about it... And every moment I'm not crying about it, I'm thinking about all the things I wanna say to her!!! But I know realistically her offense wasn't purposefully hurtful and I don't wanna cut ties over it which is exactly what I'll do if I open my mouth about it again.
I plan to take it as a lesson learned, they're not allowed to be alone with my son until I no longer care about which rules they decide to break... Which equates to never. They broke a trust that can't be mended.
But I need to say this somewhere and get it off my chest before I say something I'll regret later.
My son is 2 months old today. Yesterday I took him to my nephews 14th birthday party. When I got there my sister and I had a discussion about how I did not want him to have anything besides breast milk/formula. Her opinion was he should have something at 3 months. I told her if she didn't follow what I wanted, I would keep him away from her till he was 6 months. Not to mention that we've talked many times before about how what the mom says, goes (regarding her kids).
Well, while I was inside and she had the baby, she gave him some mashed potatoe salad. Then her husband (who is my DH's twin brother) decided to give him icing from the birthday cake.
Now, I'm 38 and have had 2 miscarrages, and I've been trying to have a baby for about 15 years. My son is my only child and I can't have another. She knows how long overdue waited for him and considered being a surrogate mother for me because I couldn't have a baby for so long.
On top of that, I was supposed to get to be a stay at home mom. Have been thrilled about it since I got pregnant with him, and now I need a job pretty badly cause DH's work has kind of dried up.
So now I already know I'm going to be missing a lot of firsts... And I just have to deal with it. But I didn't have to miss his first food or his first sweet. I am heartbroken and feel like they took that away from me. Not to mention the blatant going against what I wanted. So I don't know how he reacted, didn't get to see his face, didn't get to decide what it would be, or get a picture of it. I was completely left out of his first food and sweet.
Now, as if that's not bad enough, I first found out that her husband gave him icing. I was upset, but he wasn't involved with any of our discussions so harder to be upset with him... Then I find out from the kids that she gave him the potato... So I started getting his things together to leave. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I didn't wanna talk about it. So a couple mins later, she has the audacity to say,"I'm sorry, if I'd known I would have stopped him". I just looked at her and said whatever, they told me u gave him potato. She said she was sorry,and that she really didn't give him enough to even register with him. I told her that I knew I was going to miss a lot with going to work and I didn't have to miss this... So she says she didn't know that was my reasoning, she just thought "I was doing the mommy thing". What the hell, so she did it just to spite me, and why even bother if it wasn't enough for him to taste... Like she earned the right to make that decision. So I left it there and just went home, 2 1/2 hours away, and cried the whole way home.
Then I posted on Facebook that he had it and who gave him what. And she again defended herself saying it wasn't enough to count.
I just want to scream!!! Then why the f*** did you give him anything?!? Just to take it away from me, for bragging rights? Is she the expert cause she has 3 kids? 3 kids who fight all the time and that she hides away in her room reading to escape their attitudes? How dare she defend it?!? Especially hours after I explicitly told her what I wanted... I can't get those firsts back... I don't even know which happened first or if he liked any of it... I'm just throughly pissed off about it... And every moment I'm not crying about it, I'm thinking about all the things I wanna say to her!!! But I know realistically her offense wasn't purposefully hurtful and I don't wanna cut ties over it which is exactly what I'll do if I open my mouth about it again.
I plan to take it as a lesson learned, they're not allowed to be alone with my son until I no longer care about which rules they decide to break... Which equates to never. They broke a trust that can't be mended.
Re: Need to vent! Beyond livid. Really long post.
Livid and would of let everyone at the party know.! I'm
Sorry you had to deal
With that
When I started the post I was thinking of every convo I'd imagined having in my head which used the f word quite frequently. But I rarely ever cuss and couldn't quite bring myself to even type it for the world to see.
And getting this off my chest has already helped me tremendously. I've been able to let most of the hurt go already.
I do want to add that my sister really is a great person and is usually so very supportive and understanding, so I really don't understand why she's not getting this. But if it's the worst thing she ever does, I'll count myself lucky. I just won't trust her to deal with my son my way if she has a different opinion.
Of course, my DH is so great. He has 2 girls from a previous relationship that we get every other week. Anyway, when I get home, he's so understanding and telling me he's sorry that it happened. Then he says that the first food and sweet aren't really all that interesting. That the best is the first time they try a lemon. Lol, so at least we still have that first. And I will have a video of that for sure!!!
Even though her husband didn't hear the discussion he shouldn't be giving your kid anything with out asking.
What the fuck is wrong with these people? I would have made my way around the room and kicked everyone in the fucking face. Even if they weren't involved...they would have received a swift kick to the mouth....just in case they had any of that stupidity in them. That's about the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard.
Regarding missing the first...I would put it out of my mind. It'll be totally different when you sit down with him with the little baby spoon you buy especially for that moment, and having your husband there to take a picture, and you know your baby will probably actually SMILE cause you're his mom feeding him. Instead of him blankly staring at your sis as she gives him potato salad.
I went to school with some people who declared themselves "born again virgins" when they suddenly started going to church. If they can do that, you can totally put what your sister did out of your mind and enjoy your first food with him in a few months
You shouldn't even have to have a conversation with someone about not giving a two month old anything except for breastmilk or formula. This is a given. Babies cannot digest regular food.
That being said-she is your sister and as you said normally a great person. I'm sure you will talk it out and all will be fine. I would certainly remind her though that with your son it's your rules. And just as I'm sure you respect her decisions as a parent she needs to respect yours.
And I never thought about the dairy dangers... I was just thinking choking hazard and nutrient value and digestion. Plus, they were gonna let me go home without telling me... So if he did have a reaction, I couldn't have even told the dr if I hadn't found out. It does still infuriate me!
Ughhhh, I really hope no one brings it up cause I really don't want the family fight drama.
Forgot to mention not only did she give her the icing but she did so with her dirty fingers sticking it I her mouth. Omg I'm worked up again!!