Am I being too cautious?

shelswan · September 2015

I work one on one with kids who have autism in the kids' homes, and I have one client who i caught I pretty bad cold from in my 1st trimester because his parents didn't cancel the session even though his nose was running a ton and I had to wipe it for him like every 30 seconds. it took me twice as long to get over the cold as it did for him, and I was miserbale and couldn't even take anything for it. I ended up having to cancel a session with him and another client because I was so sick. I went again today and he has another cold, runny nose and all. I really dont want to catch any more bugs while I'm pregnant. Is it too much to ask or unprofessional of me to ask the parents to call me and cancel when he has a cold? I know they're not considering him sick enough for him to miss school, and if i wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't care. I was just so miserale last time, that I'm afraid of getting sick again. I need honest opinions if I am out of line or not to ask the parents to cancel these sessions so i don't catch his bug.

ccoleeman · September 2015

I think it's perfectly ok to ask the parents to let you know if he's sick. I'm sure they'd understand and obviously they know you're a much better help to their child when you're at 100% health. If they can't be understanding about that, then they arent the right clients-what happens after your baby comes and you need to cancel to look after a sick baby?

peppercorn16 · September 2015

I think it would be pushing it to ask for his parents to cancel, but I would be tempted to do the same thing. Are there any existing rules in place that might be currently overlooked that you could enforce? For instance, if he has/has had a fever, keeping him out for 24 hours after it has cleared? I would also ask your doctor if there are any supplements he/she approves of for pregnant womens' immune systems that you could use. If all else fails, I would wear a surgical mask and gloves if possible. You've got to do your job, but it isn't fair that you have to catch everything he's got. It is not very responsible of his parents to send him out sick, either, but that's a rant I will save for another day! ugh! Good luck!

peppercorn16 · September 2015

I misread part of your post, thinking you helped the kids at school. Knowing that you are helping in their home does give you a little more control over the situation and I think it does allow you the right to say something! It's a lot less restrictive when it isn't within a school setting.

JoJoMama730 · September 2015

I don't think you are asking too much at all under ordinary non-pg circumstances. A sick kid is a sick kid. Now that you are pregnant, you have even more reason to stay away from the sickies. Personally, a cold is much harder for me to get over due to asthma issues. I'd rather have the stomach flu!

nickicb7 · September 2015

I think given that you work one-to-one it is completely acceptable as part of your regular practice to put particular restrictions in place for your health and safety. We ask parents to keep kids home from school when they are sick, but the reality is school is a safe place for a child to be during the day, and if a parent cannot arrange to stay home or have someone watch their sick child they are legally entitled to be at work. I believe in the case of your line of work, of which I have friends working, there is no legal reason why you can not request these things. It's your right as a freelance type of occupation to set your own ground rules. In sure most parents / clients would understand that being pregnant you need to be a bit more careful.

After the cold I have been suffering this week. I don't blame you one bit. And if I was a parent with a child in your clientele I would 100% understand.

DaphneMoon1 · September 2015

I understand where you're coming from and I don't think it's unreasonable to ask the parents to reschedule if he is sick.

That being said, I work in a hospital with direct patient contact on a daily basis. I'm around sick people more than not. Constant hand washing keeps me relatively healthy. Sometimes you can't help it when someone sneezes or coughs in your face, but that's part of my job I guess.

Especially with your earlier cold, I would be diligent about hand washing and encourage the kids to do the same. Good luck!

mg137 · September 2015

That's absolutely fine I think. Even when I'm not pregnant, our nanny has to warn me if she's been exposed to anything or is feeling off and we won't have her work. And even though she usually doesn't mind working with sick kids, when ours got a cold I called and gave her the option to take the days off. I think it's very inconsiderate to not warn someone about an illness when they'll be working in close contact with the sick person. When you're pregnant it's especially important to be able to avoid catching something because you're more likely to get sick and tend to get sicker when you do get sick. Plus, some illnesses are dangerous for you or the baby. Better to address this now than wait until flu season. They should understand; I'm sure they'd appreciate you staying away if you were contagious with something too.

beckerlaine · September 2015

They should definitely tell you if he has something contagious or if he is running a fever etc. but if it's a common cold, use of good hand hygiene should keep you safe! Many jobs (teachers, nurses, daycares) expose you to these risk on a daily basis. You can tell the parents that you don't feel comfortable working with their child for a runny nose, but I would think a big possibility would be for them to react by finding someone more reliable.

Monilee1017 · September 2015

It would depend on how payment works. If they have to pay you when they cancel and he is not sick enough to miss school then I think you need to change the payment system since this is your request. If they don't have to pay you if they cancel then no I don't see anything wrong with it.

apinkpelican · September 2015

beckerlaine said:
They should definitely tell you if he has something contagious or if he is running a fever etc. but if it's a common cold, use of good hand hygiene should keep you safe! Many jobs (teachers, nurses, daycares) expose you to these risk on a daily basis. You can tell the parents that you don't feel comfortable working with their child for a runny nose, but I would think a big possibility would be for them to react by finding someone more reliable.

I tend to agree with this.
Wait till your baby is in daycare. He/she will have a constant runny nose. If the kid has had a fever or is contagious that is another story. I'd suggest constant hand washing and even wearing a mask if you are worried. Get your flu shot now if you haven't already.

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

I would definitely ask them to cancel (but not charge them)

fishee333 · September 2015

I work with kids with autism too (I used to go to their homes too, but now I have an office they come to) and I understand why you may feel uncomfortable asking the parents to cancel, but I think you should! You are not only protecting yourself from getting sick plus all the other kids you work with, but the poor sick kid you are working with is not at his/her 100% best and should be resting as well.

mamabear89071516 · September 2015

I used to do the same job ( I assume, I was an in home BHP) now I work with the same clientele in public schools. Amazing jobs to have if you ask me. From my experience, parents of these kiddos are overly protective and understanding of us as we are the ones who help their kids and as a rule want us happy and healthy. I would just make it clear that it's because of the pregnancy, and that you are willing to reschedule or double up when they're feeling better to make up my missed time. Being sick pregnant SUCKS! Best of luck!

Krisdee123 · September 2015

Update?? What did you decide to do OP?

rah938 · September 2015

If the child has the flu or another serious illness with fever, it would be one thing. But a cold? You work with kids; I am surprised this would be an issue even when pregnant. Hand washing and alcohol sanitizer are your best friends, but I think it's a huge deal to cancel therapy over a minor illness. Do you avoid shopping carts and door knobs when pregnant? These things are just as likely to get you sick.

Some jobs, especially ones working with children, just entail some sick contact. Kids get mild colds a lot when school age. If you're really worried, I would say avoid working with kids while you're pregnant because runny noses are just part of the territory.

willashbaby · September 2015

I have to stick up for the OP. Teaching little kids in a group (which I do) is VERY different from working 1:1 with a child with a disability (which I have also done). Many children (especially those with disabilities) have HORRIBLE hygiene. Unless you stop every 5 seconds to wash your hands and wear a face mask they are touching you, coughing on you, touching you with booger hands, the works.

I have caught more illnesses than I care to remember from working 1:1 with kids. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I left my home case and I keep as much of a distance as I can from my school students. I would absolutely cancel if they were sick.

ETA: All of the hand washing and sanitizer in the world will NOT protect you from a kid sneezing/coughing in your face. That shit is airborne and you're basically screwed.

essentialpeace · September 2015

^^^ I am glad you brought that up!

rah938 · September 2015

Then don't work with them while pregnant. While I understand her wish not to get sick, you can't interrupt therapy for a mild illness because mild illness happens frequently. If it were your child with special needs you might feel differently. Again--I am not talking serious or febrile illness. Runny noses happen more times than they don't some winters with kids.

willashbaby · September 2015

rah938 said:

Then don't work with them while pregnant. While I understand her wish not to get sick, you can't interrupt therapy for a mild illness because mild illness happens frequently. If it were your child with special needs you might feel differently. Again--I am not talking serious or febrile illness. Runny noses happen more times than they don't some winters with kids.

There's a big difference between a runny nose and a full blown cold. Having to wipe a nose every 30 seconds (as per OP) sounds like a pretty bad cold. FWIW for cancelling therapy usually kids who are that ill feeling aren't concentrating very well anyway and if anything become pretty dang frustrated and not very receptive. OP needs to just discuss the situation with the parents and come to an agreement about what would constitute cancelling a session. I know for me that active colds, any stomach virus activity, and fever were cancel worthy, and that was before I was pregnant.

makeshifwings · September 2015

I would absolutely ask them to cancel if he is sick. I too work with kids with autism, and sometimes I think because the kids can't tell their parents they feel sick, the parents send them to school no matter what. I would just express your concerns about getting sick while pregnant. The parents of my students have been super understanding about my pregnancy. I had to call a parent today to tell her about an assaultive episode, and she got so upset at the thought of her son hurting me while I'm pregnant. They may be more understanding than you think!

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