TTC after Chemical Pregnancy

mskeenan · September 2015

Hi all. I have been through months of fertility treatments and finally got a BFP but was told by my doctor today after monitoring my hcg levels that my pregnancy is going to result in an "early miscarriage" or chemical pregnancy . I am devastated. I know I wasn't pregnant very long but this still feels like a huge loss to me and I am beside myself. I was terrified I would never get pregnant and when I finally heard the word "positive" I couldn't believe it-it was a miracle. My husband immediately jumped to naming the baby and getting so excited. For anyone else who has been through this, how did you get through it? I am going to start another round of fertility treatments this month but I just feel like I'm going to be mourning for awhile.

mt1403 · September 2015

First and foremost, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I had a chemical pregnancy in May and I hate the name because it makes it sound like you were never pregnant but you were and it is still a huge loss. I would feel guilty for feeling so horribly sad about it because I felt like a lot of people were thinking that it was no big deal since it was so early. The moment you get that positive, you start to love your baby and the fact that something you want and love so badly is take away from you so quickly is devastating, heart-breaking and unfair. Give yourself time to mourn this loss and don't let anyone let you feel like it never happened. Time will help you heal but you will never forget, you just learn to live with it and move on. When you are ready, try again and don't lose hope. Best wishes to you! Good luck!!!

carrieandr · September 2015

I've been TTC since January, had a MMC in March at 9 weeks followed by a d&e two weeks later. I finally got a BFP again on 8/29 and was so relieved. A week later, I lost it. I cried harder after the chemical than I did the MMC because losing another pregnancy after everything I've been through was crushing. I will say that it was easier to mentally adjust to not being pregnant this time, since it was only a week. It still affects me, though. The bright side is that you did get pregnant. That is a good sign. I hope you get another chance very soon and it goes well.

roadspeckle · September 2015

Hugs. I just had a CP last month and it's an awful feeling. I hope that you get another chance soon!

DoodleLAK1 · September 2015

I just had a cp last weekend. Even though I only knew about the baby for a week I'm still devastated and mourning the loss. today in particular we were planning on telling my parents (they live 2 hours way and were coming into town) so it's been rather rough. sorry for everyone's loss

AL_TwinCities · September 2015

I just passed the anniversary of my early loss. Allow yourself to mourn as long as you need to. I struggled for a few months, and it helped me to validate my feelings by reminding myself that I became a mom the second we got the BFP, and DH and I are still parents even though we never got to meet our LO. I struggled with the EDD in April, mothers and fathers days, and the month of my loss anniversary. I decided to get a tattoo to commemorate the loss on my birthday this year, which was the day we told my family we were expecting last year. That has been so helpful, because every time I look at it, I am comforted. You are most certainly not alone!

shannonandy · September 2015

So sorry for your loss! I just had the same thing happen, this is second loss 1st was a bit farther along. I really wish you the best. I'm grieving too and exhausted from this whole process! I want to take a break but I will be 36 in November so don't feel like that's a good choice, but also think you need to take time to mourn. Not to mention I can't imagine my hubby touching me right now!

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