Can I Vent about OB? Please?!

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

I had an appointment with OB, they wanted to do an anatomy scan. The have a no children in the sono room, at all! I told them when I called, that I had no one to take care of my children. DH just started working 12s everyday until the end of the year. They had me come in anyways, it's a 30 minute drive there! I get there, OB bitches about me not having anyone! They thought I was lying, I'm not! I don't know anyone here, we haven't lived here long. They had me there 3 hours trying to get an exception from the main OB. My kids were livid! Finally they okay for me to take them in the bike trailer /double stroller. Why do they put me though that?? They knew I didn't have child care before I even scheduled, why not figure it out before hand, or tell me not to come in??! So frustrated! Now I'm here finally resting at home with lots of BH.

ETA- thanks for listening!

leximd84 · September 2015

I would definitely be as upset as you. My office allows children and I can't imagine why they wouldn't let you bring them anyway. The kids were probably just as excited to see the baby as you were. Hopefully your next visit will be more pleasant!!

VitaLuna · September 2015

That's ridiculous. You told them you had no childcare. They should've made an exception right away or sent you home (which would've been stupid, since you told them).. Not made you sit there and wait while they decided. I'd be really upset and writing a letter.

jaimeruns · September 2015

I'm sorry that's really upsetting! My office allows kids, I see them go back with their mamas all the time. That's so weird! I would be really mad. But hopefully next time they give you an easier time.

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

Thanks ladies, I thought maybe I was overreacting. I just think it's ridiculous and poor admin on their part. They knew before I even scheduled that I had no one. Ugh! This is my last time with them anyways. I'm switching to another OB who is 1 hour away but I did verify they allow children. Plus he is supposed to be VBAC friendly and a very good OB.

thisusername · September 2015

Well this doesn't even make sense; what about the families that want their kids to see and learn? How do they accommodate them? So basically if this isn't your first kid it's hard to deal with your anatomy scan there? Totally uncool.

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

Yes @thisusername , they are very inconsiderate. They were also badgering me about asking someone at my church to watch them next time! Are you serious??? I don't even talk to people at my church, plus didn't I just mention, I just moved here, I don't know them well enough, to leave my children with them!!

DrillSergeantCat · September 2015

DaisyTortilla said:

Yes @thisusername , they are very inconsiderate. They were also badgering me about asking someone at my church to watch them next time! Are you serious??? I don't even talk to people at my church, plus didn't I just mention, I just moved here, I don't know them well enough, to leave my children with them!!

So they deliver children, but never want them in their office once they're out of the womb?

ohbaby714 · September 2015

DrillSergeantCat said:

DaisyTortilla said:

Yes @thisusername , they are very inconsiderate. They were also badgering me about asking someone at my church to watch them next time! Are you serious??? I don't even talk to people at my church, plus didn't I just mention, I just moved here, I don't know them well enough, to leave my children with them!!

So they deliver children, but never want them in their office once they're out of the womb?
---stupid quote fail---
I think it was maybe just for the ultrasound? Our office has a no children under ten room but will let you bring them if it's an emergency or if you can't find childcare they are pretty accommodating. The reason they gave me is they don't want the techs to be at all distracted so they don't miss anything.

Latina211508 · September 2015

That is crazy. I would be pissed and complain. I have 3 children and I also don't have anyone to watch my kids. But even if I did my kids are always with me. That honestly makes no sense that they have a no child policy for that. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

Yeah, they are okay during non sono appts. Just during sonos they say no. I still think it's ridiculous, it is a part of life, that you have to bring your children with you most of the time. My OB is not accommodating at all. Not only that, but I overheard some techs talking smack about another mom who brought her DH and he took care of Their son. But she wanted him to be there for the scan. They said so much bad things. I can only imagine what they said about me after I left. So unprofessional

mcklough · September 2015

I don't have other kids yet so it's never come up as an issue but my OB has that rule too- no children in the rooms for exams, meetings and ultrasounds

Shatzegirl · September 2015

@DaisyTortilla I'm so glad you're switching OB's. That's just ridiculous! I'm sorry you had to deal with all that nonsense.

acuteangles · September 2015

How frustrating. I understand their policy - the A/S can take awhile and their concern may be that kids could accidentally unplug or damage the expensive equipment or distract you or the tech from completing the scan in a timely manner. That being said, they should not have made you wait or even come in at all given your situation. Making you wait 3 hours is inexcusable.

SoSirius · September 2015

Ugh that's frustrating! My son has come with us to all the scans and will be there for the anatomy scan. He just sits there and stares at the cool monitor.

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

Yeah @acuteangles , I understand their policy as well. I'm just irritated at the fact that I told them when I called to schedule, that I had no one, and they told me to come in anyways. I thought they would of had it figured out! It was only 3 days ago that I called to schedule, so they didn't forget! Ugh!

camusoh2011 · September 2015

Nope! My boys were with DH and I for our anatomy scan last week and it ended up taking an hour and a half because of finding out there were twins in there. They got antsy and grumpy, but the tech was totally cool about it. They had phones and tablets to play with and snacks, but we were expecting 30-40 minutes, not over twice that. I'd be switching too if they were gonna be like that. It's just rude.

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

That's awesome @camusoh2011 , I wish those techs were like that. While I was waiting to be told what was going to happen, another tech who was walking by, pestered me about the children and told me to go wait downstairs in the cafeteria. Then the RN walked in and told her, I was okay where I was. I felt uncomfortable the entire time.

NoelBird · September 2015

That sucks. They should have been clear with the policy on the phone or let the kids in the room. The policy doesn't bother me, I understand why they wouldn't want kids, but when you called them they shouldn't have told you to come anyway. Also the wait at the office is just ridiculous, that would bother me a lot.

inomniaparatus · September 2015

I understand why they wouldn't want kids too - it can be distracting, they are around expensive medical equipment and I know, when I go, they sort of pull my pants down super low to where it wouldn't be appropriate to have your child see... But they 100% shouldnt have said you should come then taken it back. That's crazy and I would have made sure the doctor knew which receptionist said that. Sorry you had to go through that!

ohbaby714 · September 2015

inomniaparatus said:
I understand why they wouldn't want kids too - it can be distracting, they are around expensive medical equipment and I know, when I go, they sort of pull my pants down super low to where it wouldn't be appropriate to have your child see... But they 100% shouldnt have said you should come then taken it back. That's crazy and I would have made sure the doctor knew which receptionist said that. Sorry you had to go through that!

If that's the worst thing my kid sees of me that would be the day. Hell, half the time I shower with my kid. So much easier. I don't think she will be too scarred.

inomniaparatus · September 2015

ohbaby714 said:

inomniaparatus said:
I understand why they wouldn't want kids too - it can be distracting, they are around expensive medical equipment and I know, when I go, they sort of pull my pants down super low to where it wouldn't be appropriate to have your child see... But they 100% shouldnt have said you should come then taken it back. That's crazy and I would have made sure the doctor knew which receptionist said that. Sorry you had to go through that!
If that's the worst thing my kid sees of me that would be the day. Hell, half the time I shower with my kid. So much easier. I don't think she will be too scarred.

I grew up in a pretty modest home - it's just not something I'm used to or comfortable with - that's just me- nothing wrong with either style. I'm just saying maybe it factors into the policy - especially because my sonographer did a trans-vaginal ultrasound for part of it- now that'd be awkward!

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

Lol. Not too worried about my kids seeing my lower stomach, considering I was the one who confessed that I wobbled across the house with my pants down to get tp, while DD walked behind me yelling "butt" the whole time.
I also grew up in a modest home, I just veered a bit off. However a trans-vaginal ultrasound would be awkward for me as well.

Eta- I would still do the vaginal ultrasound with them there but I have never encountered that yet.

VitaLuna · September 2015

inomniaparatus said:
...I know, when I go, they sort of pull my pants down super low to where it wouldn't be appropriate to have your child see...

Is this a joke?? You're about to learn some hard lessons about life when this kid comes...

AdventureMama · September 2015

inomniaparatus said:
I understand why they wouldn't want kids too - it can be distracting, they are around expensive medical equipment and I know, when I go, they sort of pull my pants down super low to where it wouldn't be appropriate to have your child see... But they 100% shouldnt have said you should come then taken it back. That's crazy and I would have made sure the doctor knew which receptionist said that. Sorry you had to go through that!

Hahahahaha I can't wait until you have a toddler and you're home alone and you have to pee.

inomniaparatus · September 2015

VitaLuna said:

inomniaparatus said:
...I know, when I go, they sort of pull my pants down super low to where it wouldn't be appropriate to have your child see...
Is this a joke?? You're about to learn some hard lessons about life when this kid comes...

Rude much? I just said It's something I'm personally not comfortable with but there's nothing wrong if you are. I get it when they are too young to form memories- I know I'll have to take my baby with me to the bathroom sometimes, etc. But once they hit age 4 or so, I'm not comfortable with it. We all have different comfort levels and I am not trying to make you feel bad about yours. I know I have no memory of ever seeing my mother naked - thank god, lol. She's beautiful but I'm glad I have no memory of seeing it.

SoSirius · September 2015

I had a trans-vag ultrasound with my son and husband in the room. No one even thought to ask if my son should be there. He's aware of the area. He came out of there not too long ago. Either way there is a "modesty cloth." He's not sitting there staring at the exit.

AdventureMama · September 2015

inomniaparatus said:

VitaLuna said:

inomniaparatus said:
...I know, when I go, they sort of pull my pants down super low to where it wouldn't be appropriate to have your child see...
Is this a joke?? You're about to learn some hard lessons about life when this kid comes...
Rude much? I just said It's something I'm personally not comfortable with but there's nothing wrong if you are. I get it when they are too young to form memories- I know I'll have to take my baby with me to the bathroom sometimes, etc. But once they hit age 4 or so, I'm not comfortable with it. We all have different comfort levels and I am not trying to make you feel bad about yours. I know I have no memory of ever seeing my mother naked - thank god, lol. She's beautiful but I'm glad I have no memory of seeing it.

Yes, because how dare we teach children that bodies are normal and everyone has one and they're nothing to be ashamed of. Instead let's let them thing nakedness is shameful and inherently sexual and inappropriate. That seems like a better life lesson.

inomniaparatus · September 2015

SoSirius said:
I had a trans-vag ultrasound with my son and husband in the room. No one even thought to ask if my son should be there. He's aware of the area. He came out of there not too long ago. Either way there is a "modesty cloth." He's not sitting there staring at the exit.

Ha! Fair enough - that made me lol

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

SoSirius said:
I had a trans-vag ultrasound with my son and husband in the room. No one even thought to ask if my son should be there. He's aware of the area. He came out of there not too long ago. Either way there is a "modesty cloth." He's not sitting there staring at the exit.

True! I forgot about that. Although, they have been present during pap smears and cervical checks. I never actually thought anything of it because back then DH would be there to hold them away from my "exit" lol!

themommabee · September 2015

I'm really sorry that you were in this position which sounds really difficult but I'm having a hard time seeing the outrage on this one. I feel like it could be a realization that you need some help from your community and may need to make strides towards making that happen rather than defaulting to putting blame on the OB who was trying to give you and your baby the best care they could and tried to accommodate you at the expense of their schedule and other patients. But I understand how difficult it must have been and it must be challenging to be in a new place at this already tough time. Maybe the OB or your new one could help connect you with some mom groups or childcare resources so you can get some help. You must be exhausted.

Miss Lilac · September 2015

VitaLuna · September 2015

themommabee said:
I'm really sorry that you were in this position which sounds really difficult but I'm having a hard time seeing the outrage on this one. I feel like it could be a realization that you need some help from your community and may need to make strides towards making that happen rather than defaulting to putting blame on the OB who was trying to give you and your baby the best care they could and tried to accommodate you at the expense of their schedule and other patients. But I understand how difficult it must have been and it must be challenging to be in a new place at this already tough time. Maybe the OB or your new one could help connect you with some mom groups or childcare resources so you can get some help. You must be exhausted.

Ummm... The OB was trying to accommodate her at the expense of their schedule and other patients? No. She had an appt. She didn't just show up for funsies. And making someone wait 3hrs so you can decide what to do with them? Either do it or send them home. It shouldn't take 3 hrs to decide.

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

themommabee said:
I'm really sorry that you were in this position which sounds really difficult but I'm having a hard time seeing the outrage on this one. I feel like it could be a realization that you need some help from your community and may need to make strides towards making that happen rather than defaulting to putting blame on the OB who was trying to give you and your baby the best care they could and tried to accommodate you at the expense of their schedule and other patients. But I understand how difficult it must have been and it must be challenging to be in a new place at this already tough time. Maybe the OB or your new one could help connect you with some mom groups or childcare resources so you can get some help. You must be exhausted.

I was exhausted! However, what I was upset about was the fact that they KNEW days prior to my appointment (when I scheduled it) that I had no one to care for my children! I called them and told them "I have to schedule an AS but I have the dilemma that I have no one to care for my children, what do we do?" I was told to come in anyways. This led me to believe they would have this issue discussed and an accommodation ready by the day of my appointment, or otherwise why have me come in? I would of been okay with them telling me "dude, you can't come until you hire someone or figure it out yourself!" But they didn't, they said, come in anyways. Then when I get there it's a huge issue because apparently no one prepared for it, and I was scolded at by my OB for this! Maybe she wasn't informed about it, but that is still poor admin work on their behalf!

Edit spelling

themommabee · September 2015

Was just trying to give an alternate perspective. Wish you the best of luck with the new OB.

DaisyTortilla · September 2015

themommabee said:
Was just trying to give an alternate perspective. Wish you the best of luck with the new OB.

Yeah, I see your perspective but I just think it was incredibly inconsiderate to have me come in and decide then. My children were frustrated. I appreciate that they still accommodated me, I really did! I just think they should of been prepared before I got there since they had plenty of notice. New OB is supposed to be good and I definitely asked about their policy first. Lol.

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