who will be in trouble at work for being pregnant?

SophiaAlbert · September 2015

We wanted to get pregnant , but next year. Now it has happened 6 months after I started working at my new job. They can't fire me technically but I know I will be in trouble and dreading the moment when they find out. Unfortunately I have gained a lot of weight already. How bout you?

Jparke2 · September 2015

*raises hand* I'm going to be in trouble! I just started working for my dad's company last month, he is my boss! I heard him on the phone with a friend of his the other day, a lady who I know too, and I heard him tell her that I better not get pregnant any time soon since I just started working at the family business. How awkward...

In the long run, I think he'll actually be pretty excited but I know that he will be disappointed as well, just because it will conflict with me working there. He was so, so excited when I expressed interest in working there (out of desperation, really. I needed to get out of my last job) so I think he'll be worried about me not returning after the birth. On the up side, I'm really counting on him providing me with a decent, paid maternity leave, so there are definitely pros and cons!

saladflambe · September 2015

I worried I might be, but they're taking it well. I told them super early due to the nature of my job. LOTS of travel... but, I've been there 2 years, so I feel I've put enough time in for them to be OK with it. Only, my company is quite small (11 people), so I am not protected by FMLA or ADA.

dsmith211 · September 2015

I won't be in trouble but I still worry about telling everyone. The dept I work in is mostly guys including my supervisors, so it may be a little difficult for everyone to relate.

balamama · September 2015

I'm worried too... I just started in April so I'll be cutting it close to the 12 month mark by my EDD and it will definitely be awkward to tell them when I finally have to (hoping to put it off until at least mid/late November or even early December if I can). There's nothing they can really DO but I know they'll be thinking that it was pretty quick. We originally planned to start trying in October/November but so many friends of ours have had trouble conceiving we decided to go for it and got lucky but now I'm dreading telling my boss

lest12 · September 2015

I won't be in "trouble", but my boss and coworkers aren't going to be happy about it. There is a big project coming up next June and I would be playing a pretty big role. Unfortunately, I won't be able to contribute.

If I liked my boss or my coworkers, I would probably feel bad about it...

penelope4612 · September 2015

I just started in July. I agree, people are going to think it happened pretty fast. I do intend to return to work after my leave though, and summer is a slow time for us so mid May to mid August is probably the best time to be out. But still, no one likes to cover when someone is out and they've been having problems keeping people in my position so I'm sure they'll be frustrated.

mrslampert · September 2015

I work for a great company and have a really great manager. I've worked here for 10+ years, so not really the same situation, but your management should be understanding. Just like any other medical condition some times things are out of your control. If your new job doesn't understand that, that is their issue, not yours.

nsouplynn · September 2015

I don't think I will get in trouble but it will be frowned upon. Most of my co-workers that I am close and trust with are truly happy for me. I think senior management will be a bit displeased when I announce my pregnancy. They have to think of who will have to cover for me while I am out on maternity leave. I know I got a lot of crap for taking time off for my wedding and my vacation (which I EARNED them). I can only imagine what my pregnancy will do.

AlCoLi · September 2015

My direct manager will definitely be disappointed. She will be happy for me personally but I'm pretty much the only person in our department that she relies on and she knows I won't be coming back to work after the baby. I feel bad because we are very close but I've learned over the years that I cannot put this job above my personal life/ family.

Pepper6 · September 2015

This is why maternity policies need work in our country! No one's job should be 'upset' about an employee's pregnancy. I'm sorry any of you have to deal with it.

skiingstark · September 2015

@Pepper6 I soo agree, only in US do we have this problem, it is ridiculous. If men had babies everyone would get their jobs back and you would get at least 6 months paid maternity leave. But sadly we are USA and we cannot do what every other countries does because it will hurt our economy even though every other country manages it some how.... ergg?!

BabyVDM · September 2015

The last time I told my boss I was pregnant her response was "that's great for you personally". She was really put out that I was leaving. In Canada we get a year of Maternity Leave so when I had to go off of work at the beginning of my 3rd Trimester it meant that I was a way for close to 15 months. I only returned to work at the beginning of March so I will be forced to announce my pregnancy as soon as I can't hide it any longer, but really no later than the end of December.

We are in the midst of a big transition at work as well and our department is being completely overhauled. New software is being rolled out nationally and I'm vying for position to be first in line for training so that I'm not completely obsolete when I get back. I The company has to guarantee me a position to return to but not necessarily MY position. So I'm worried about the consequences if I leave.

But DH and I are "advanced age" parents and we had no time to waste ensuring my carreer is in good order before attempting this. it was now or never.

So fingers crossed all works out well in the end.

jenbrinson07 · September 2015

I depend on commissions based on work load, so I have a feeling my workload may go down. They are already extremely picky on performance, and now being sick, I'm a bit nervous.

seashellz1223 · September 2015

I don't think I'll be in "trouble" but I'm nervous about breaking the news. I'm an associate attorney at a small firm and I have a huge caseload right now. My boss is always joking that I'm not allowed to have kids! X_X

I've been here 2 years now. I don't think there will ever be a perfect time but I don't intend to miss an excessive of work if everything goes well.

kbrands7 · September 2015

Yeah...they made their preference that only one teacher be on leave at a time known when I had my last baby and another woman was due a month after me. Obviously, it's not a rule though. Two teachers are due in February this year and I'll be the third of the year (that I know of). I'm anticipating a "that's wonderful for your family, but not for our staff" sort of reaction. I'm more concerned about pumping in private, and having time to pump when I return to work. Despite having a locked door and signage, I got walked in on a lot last year.

KKMalinowski · September 2015

I won't be in 'trouble' but I am hoping for a semi-promotion in January after being at my new job since May (my EDD is 1 day after my 1yr at new job). If I get the promotion & with my school stuff I think I will only get a couple of weeks maternity leave before I have to go back so I will still graduate in August.

Astraphobic · September 2015

I work in healthcare so I won't be in trouble per say but my boss posted a "stop pregnancies" initiative as a joke about 2 months ago since we never have less than 2 people pregnant on any given day.

stakerwa · September 2015

I work as a preschool teacher and my assistant teacher is also pregnant, just a few weeks further along than me. I had to tell my supervisors since ive been so sick and was met with a snarky "oh so you are both going to be pregnant at the same time, thats going to be brutal" um thanks?! Wtf!

balamama · September 2015

@stakerwa ugh I may be in a similar boat... My colleague (same position description as me) confided in me that she's going through fertility treatments and if all goes according to plan her EDD will be about a month after mine. I'm sure that our boss will flip out if we are both on maternity leave at the same time. But you know what, there's nothing we can do about it and we all deserve to have our personal lives so they'll have to figure it out!

lovearoo · September 2015

Astraphobic said:
I work in healthcare so I won't be in trouble per say but my boss posted a "stop pregnancies" initiative as a joke about 2 months ago since we never have less than 2 people pregnant on any given day.

Dude wtf?? That's really inappropriate and I would be giving him the side eye for that! Unacceptable and not funny.

yogahh · September 2015

This makes me sad, that we have to be worried about being "in trouble" because we want to have a family. It's really unfair how pregnancy/ maternity leave is treated in this country. No one should be made to feel punished because you are having a baby.

MeridithM · September 2015

I love the company I work for and they are extremely supportive of my having children (they all have kids), but I work two seasonal jobs. My winter job is physically demanding and not typically considered acceptable for pregnant women (chance of falling or collision with others), though they will likely find a place for me in another department when it becomes unsafe for me. My spring-fall (and primary job) job will be the kicker as my due date is when we get busiest - aka I will be out on maternity leave for the first 1-2 months of a 4 month season. Talk about crappy timing! Last year I was pregnant with about the same due date and the owners were incredibly supportive, but it surely puts a cramp in their season. I would love to aim for a September-February birth!

joemunson · September 2015

I'm a bit worried. I'm a first year teacher so technically I can have my contract not renewed for any reason (its built into my initial license) and since my baby is due in May I'll be missing the last six weeks of school, which is when you finish testing and wrap things up. I keep telling little sweet pea baby that I hope they decide to be a 41 week baby so I only miss the last two weeks of school.
I try to remind myself that since it's a rural school and I sign my intent to return in January I could be fine. And I can always get another teaching job.

skiingstark · September 2015

joemunson said:

I'm a bit worried. I'm a first year teacher so technically I can have my contract not renewed for any reason (its built into my initial license) and since my baby is due in May I'll be missing the last six weeks of school, which is when you finish testing and wrap things up. I keep telling little sweet pea baby that I hope they decide to be a 41 week baby so I only miss the last two weeks of school. I try to remind myself that since it's a rural school and I sign my intent to return in January I could be fine. And I can always get another teaching job.

Isn't your testing done? Ours is done by End of April to the 1st week of May. That is why I like my due date it is after testing.

lest12 · September 2015

yogahh said:

This makes me sad, that we have to be worried about being "in trouble" because we want to have a family. It's really unfair how pregnancy/ maternity leave is treated in this country. No one should be made to feel punished because you are having a baby.

I agree. If my boss ever said anything about us not being allowed to have kids, I would be in HR so fast!

TheThornBird · September 2015

lest12 said:

yogahh said:

This makes me sad, that we have to be worried about being "in trouble" because we want to have a family. It's really unfair how pregnancy/ maternity leave is treated in this country. No one should be made to feel punished because you are having a baby.

I agree. If my boss ever said anything about us not being allowed to have kids, I would be in HR so fast!

Ditto this. If you replace "pregnant" with, say "brain cancer", what these employers say or do is completely inappropriate. Would anyone ever say "You're in trouble for getting cancer!" or "Wow, that's really inconvenient for us that you have cancer".

Babies are a joy. I get that having people leave the office for a few weeks is challenging, but that's life. No job or business is more important than family.

tinelynnm · September 2015

My boss will be mad just because we're so short staffed (I'm a nurse) and we're having a hard time keeping people on our unit right now.

alijeff2313 · September 2015

I won't be in trouble. I think they will all be excited. However, my boss and his wife have been TTC for a few years now and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I know he will be very happy for me, but I'm still hesitant about telling him.

I feel so bad for all of your mamas who have to worry about being in trouble. How horrible that is. This is such an exciting time in our lives. It sucks to know that there are people out there that want to make you feel guilty.

mlbohannon1120 · September 2015

I'm in an awkward job situation right now. I work in research and funding is tight. Hopefully we'll know soon about the fate of a current grant application, but just because I've been in that uncertain boat before, I've started putting my feelers out for other positions open within the institution. I've been here for 4 years, so my FMLA status should transfer internally if I find something else. I have two upcoming interviews for positions that I'm incredibly optimistic about. Both would offer an increase in pay, and I know one has already agreed to work with my current hours/schedule. However, I know it would not be very convenient for them to start a new position and then only be in it for 5-7ish months before maternity leave. Sticky situation, but I know it will all work out the way it should.

chottomotto · September 2015

@mlbohannon1120 good luck with your interviews!

chottomotto · September 2015

I'm self employed, but my husband will probably be in trouble. He has been derisively called Mr. Mom by his boss because of my previous pregnancies. After my first, I had post partum pre-e and had to be 911 rescued and hospitalized. 3 weeks later my mom was in a car accident and in the ICU for a week before she passed away. He missed a lot of work during that time and they attributed it just to the baby for some reason. IDK

No matter what happens, DH is extremely employable and we have savings, so we'll be fine. And even though they say it as an insult, DH takes Mr. Mom as a compliment. How many other guys have cared for a newborn baby alone for 3 days? My husband has. It was a crash course in fatherhood and he rocked it.

joemunson · September 2015

I'm not sure when we do ours but if I can I'm going to do mine end of April that way my sub won't have to deal with it

Bookhousegirl · September 2015

@chottomotto oh my gosh! That sounds like an incredibly difficult time! I hope this time goes more smoothly for you.

Baybaykay18 · September 2015

I'm sure I'll get the stink eye from everyone! I'm a police officer and the first and only female on my department.... on top of low staffing right now... they're probably not going to know what to do with me! On top of that, I'm sure I'll get accused of getting special treatment. SMH... :-<

altandra · September 2015

I'm a home daycare provider. I don't think any of my families will be mad, but it kind of puts them in a bind to have to find alternate care and I worry about them leaving over that. I'm only planning on taking a week off unpaid, so hopefully that entices them to stay, and hopefully I figure out how to care for a newborn and 5 other kids that quickly. It's gonna be rough.

Dantzscher32 · September 2015

I am in the same situation I was when I had DS#2. I got pregnant the week I started a new job. I waited to tell them until I couldn't wait anymore. Now, I am in the middle of changing jobs again. It hasn't officially taken place yet, but the day I found out I got the job is the day I got my BFP. Luckily, it's working with the same people, just a change of title. The only down side is my leave starts over. With DS #2 I didn't have a whole lot of leave built up for after delivery. I will be in the same boat this time.

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