TTC after medical termination, recovering.

Stephanie41982 · September 2015

Hi everyone, I’m new to this site and hoping to be on the happy end of it all soon! We just lost our baby girl at 5 months in June, she was diagnosed with triploidy. Whole story is here à https://ourlosstotriploidy.blogspot.com/

I have my ups and downs, of course. After the D & E in the hospital, they gave me a depo shot to make sure I didn’t conceive again until they knew it wasn’t partial molar, and it wasn’t. Right now I’m waiting on the depo shot to run out so we can TTC again, I was told it can take a few months or more after the shot wears off. I don’t even have a cycle yet, I’m just bleeding every day, which happens on the shot.

I think this back to school time really has me upset, seeing everyone share pictures of their kids growing up, and Lily was to be our first child. I’m 33 and I feel myself obsessing about time running out! I want to have at least 2 children, and I never even worried about this stuff until now, I was never in any hurry. But here I am, so totally impatient! Knowing it could be months or longer before we conceive again, and knowing that I’ll never have a happy oblivious pregnancy again… it’s just hard.

newfie69 · September 2015

I'm with you. I'm 36 and just lost our first pregnancy in May. It. Took us 4 years to get pregnant.

carrieandr · September 2015

@stephanie41982 - I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Don't worry about being 33, though. You still have time on your side. I'm TTC#1 at 37 and hope to have two kids. I'd love to have the extra 4 years that you have. And I know there are women older than me that wish they were only 37. On the TTC After 35 board, they formed a subgroup for 40+ women because they don't think "young" 35-39 year old women understand what they are going through.

I wish you luck going forward, both in getting pregnant again and recovering from your loss.

And I'm sorry for your loss, too, @newfie69. I can't imagine suffering a loss after 4 years of waiting.

crob5685 · September 2015

@Stephanie41982 so sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to the sentiment about knowing you'll never have a happy oblivious pregnancy, I think about this often. So eager to conceive again, but terrified all the same and just know that feeling won't go away until I finally have a baby crying in my arms.

Sarafuss · September 2015

Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. I was just reading your blog. I have a somewhat similar story in that I lost my baby to a genetic disorder/chromosomal abnormality. We had a screen positive NT scan as well and also received normal NIPT results. We didn't have an amnio done until 35 weeks because I was scared of losing the pregnancy and if the baby was perfectly healthy...I would have been devastated. She had Cri du Chat (a deletion of part of the 5th chromosome) and I delivered her at 37 weeks also due to gestational hypertension. She passed away at 5 weeks in the NICU. We are TTC starting with this cycle and we plan to do an amnio early on to determine if baby is healthy. (I will never trust the NIPT results after what we went through). It's so scary to be trying again. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to tag or PM me. I'll be praying for you to have a healthy baby in your arms soon!

queen_frostine · September 2015

I am turning 34 in a month and for some reason, really upset that I won't begin my first successful pregnancy at 33 (had a d&c last Friday and my cycle is long so I'm sure I won't be through a full one before then). We got pregnant on our first month trying... after years and years of gearing up in different ways. So I convinced myself that the planning part was part of our wait. Now I'm SO impatient to try again. I feel like time is just running out. I think it's really different waiting for that first positive and waiting for another after a loss. It's kind of like starting to date someone you dated previously - you're not really starting on page one, you feel like you're further on.

Teenie16 · September 2015

First of all I am so very for your loss.

I will be 42 next month and lost my little boy almost 2 months ago @ 22weeks.

I too am sad that I can't have the "normal" happy pregnancy next time. I know I will be on edge until I deliver. I am scared to try again but our desire to have a child of our own is persuading me to jump back into it.

I also understand your fear of time running out. TRUST ME! But just because I wish I had the time you do doesn't make your feelings and fears any less real. Try not to get too wrapped up in the stress of TTC.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you are not on this board too long.

Stephanie41982 · September 2015

Thank you all for your kind words, I'm so sorry for your losses as well

Stephanie41982 · September 2015

I'm trying to reply to each of you but I'm not sure how to tag yet, so sorry!

@CarrieandRoy, I 've read stories of women who experienced loss at 20 and they feel the same way, I feel like loss just kicks the biological clock into overdrive, it's crazy. I was never worried about this before, and we just started TTC last October! It's all perspective I guess.

@newfie I can't imagine experiencing a loss after 4 years either, I'm so sorry

@Sarafuss I'm so sorry you went through all of that, I've never heard of Cri du Chat, but I know many women haven't heard of triploidy either. It's amazing how much I know about all these tests now that I've been through them all, but I wish I didn't. I hated all those screenings in the beginning but I was thinking about having the CVS test just to ease my mind, even though there always a slight risk and I don't know what I would do if I had another loss after all this. Thank you for reading my blog, it always helps me to know I'm not alone in this.

Stephanie41982 · September 2015

RainMira9e I feel the exact same way. I'm waiting patiently for my depo shot to wear off, I'm getting so impatient. I've been spotting for 5 weeks which just adds to the frustration :-(

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