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How to stop worrying when bed sharing.

averybby09averybby09 member
in Attachment Parenting
My 7 week old will not sleep anywhere except in my arms. He won't stay in his bouncer, bassinet, rock n play, or any of the other mounds of baby items I've bought. He's basically glued to me 24/7. I finally resorted to putting him in bed with me. The problem is he won't sleep unless I'm holding him. I'm terrified that I'm going to squish him. :( I never planned on bed sharing and having a hard time not worrying about hurting him when I do fall asleep. I'm exhausted and tired of worrying all night long.
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Re: How to stop worrying when bed sharing.

  • LynnJess29LynnJess29 member
    My DD was the same way. She slept on my chest from 2 weeks old until 8 weeks old. I would prop myself up with pillows behind me and under each arm so when she was on my chest I was not afraid she would fall on the floor. I didn't always get the best sleep but I would get 4-6 hours at a stretch. At 8 weeks old we were able to get her to sleep in a rock n play by the bed. She did not start sleeping in her crib until 5 months. I've learned that all babies are different and some just need the extra TLC. I miss the snuggles now that she is in her crib. Good luck!!
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  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member
    edited August 2015
    I think this book would be a great fit for you. It talks about why bedsharing is a wonderful option as well as the safety factor. The author has run a mother-baby sleep lab at Notre Dame for almost two decades, so it is all evidence-based information. You can also check out his website: https://cosleeping.nd.edu/.

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    More Green For Less Green

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  • SLGILL1978SLGILL1978 member
    My daughter was like the first weeks when we started bed sharing. I finally just laid her down beside me and stayed in her line of vision. 
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  • altheahoneyaltheahoney member
    Oh, I love bed sharing. It gets easier and it is safe (as long as your not drunk, drugged, etc!), squishing babies doesn't really happen, but you should read about it so you can feel confident and sleep well! There are a ton of resources online.
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  • lovehorse77lovehorse77 member
    Squishing babies by accident and suffocating them DOES happen. And it's terrifying. And heartbreaking. I know I might get flamed for this but I think you're rightfully terrified. I am on board with a lot of attachment parenting, but this component I am not.
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  • kajagurukajaguru member
    I worried too, but nothing bad ever happened! Especially as they get bigger, you feel more peace of mind with bed sharing. But hey, guess what?! Now my babe sleeps in his crib and I worry more!! I can't sleep because i am always checking on him. It's neurotic. We just love our babies too much!!
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  • febmom4febmom4 member
    I found a co sleeper bassinet thing on amazon-it is just a little bed that goes in our bed so I'll hold him and then place him in there when he's stalling asleep and keep my arm around him or underneath him. I think it comforts him to feel my arm there.
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  • Knottie1442268460Knottie1442268460 member
    We used an arms reach co sleeper. They also make a hammock style one. Putting baby in a fisher price swing is ok. trouble some tots is a good web site.

    I wouldn't sleep with my child. I dont think people should recommend it to someone who's worried or on the fence. If baby did die that parent would never get over the guilt.

    The first months can be tough but we didn't even cosleep with our babies with sensory issues. It was rough. I spent many hours sitting up in the living room. These days will end. :)
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  • lilpootslilpoots member
    You may also want to consider reading Sweet Sleep from La Leche League. It will help you to safely bed share with your baby.
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  • Kfraz3Kfraz3 member
    I agree with @lilpoots. Make your bed safe and do some reading. I was nervous to sleep with DS at first. I am breastfeeding and ended up sleeping with him in bed one day because I was so tired I was worried I might drop him. You sleep on your side in a way that makes it pretty impossible to roll over towards baby. I am a super light sleeper so I wake up a lot but I don't have to wake up completely. I don't do it with DH in bed. I wait till he goes to work. Think about it this way, since the beginning of mankind babies have slept with their mother.... They didn't have bassinets and baby swings etc in huts... Even in the new world the family all slept in one room in a cabin in the woods and baby slept with mom. If you are a heavy sleeper then maybe reconsider. I personally feel that it's the way it's been done for all of our existence and only recently has it been different. It's safer than falling asleep with baby in a recliner, on the couch or anywhere else that baby can slip out of your arms and get squished. When you are that tired you WILL fall asleep without knowing it. If I feel that tired I just put him in bed next to me. Sorry for long post! You'll do great don't worry. Do what works for you, even if it's not bed sharing... DS really loves his baby swing.. Might be another option. One more thing! Some time ago in the UK they told moms to stop bed sharing and suffocation deaths actually INCREASED because of exhausted moms trying to stay awake to feed baby fell asleep in chairs, recliners, couches etc. I hope you find the way that works best for you and your baby. Take care!
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