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March 2015 Moms
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In-laws.... Anyone else having issues?

mrsbrown211mrsbrown211 member
in March 2015 Moms
ive been having some trouble getting along with my inlaws since I was pregnant really. We used to get along fine until I decided to have a natural birth. Then things shifted. I feel like they judge me often and mock me. I am the but of many jokes. Mostly saying I am overly sensitive about my LO (naps , hunger or simply just knowing him well) I get the feeling they resent my hubby and I not asking for much help or advice. We have yet to leave our LO alone with anyone and I think that bothers them. They want us to leave our baby with them and they think it's "my fault" they haven't. Every issue they have with me they "discuss" with my hubby. Even group emails have been shared about my "choices" and no I was not on the email list. Everyone but me. I get really upset and I don't like the way the things are but I don't know how it can change. My hubby wants me to just brush it off but it's hard when you feel like an outcast all the time. I litterally can't do anything right according to them. I over/under feed him. I hold him too much. I care too much about his naps. He should be sleeping better more/less etc. I want to scream. Oh and when I did tell MIL how I was feeling she asked if I have PPD?!?!? Like the insults can't possibly be hurtful!! I must be depressed!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh I wanna cry!
Rant over.
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Re: In-laws.... Anyone else having issues?

  • daniellarhhdaniellarhh member
    Huge problem with my in-laws! But for the opposite reasons really. They will not bother with my daughter unless we bring her to them which is hard! Fair enough they work all week, but they both have a massive problem with alcohol and the pub. They pretty much want me to bring my daughter to the pub every single Saturday so they can see her and they don't pay attention to me when I say a 6month old doesn't need to be in the pub with drunks every single weekend. If my partner asks them to have her overnight, they make it seem like a chore and we always get 'we made plans' etc. their plans is being in the pub getting ratarsed! When I told them I was pregnant, they were so excited and when we found out we were having a girl (as they have 2 boys) they were thrilled so I thought I wouldn't have a problem. But I couldn't be more wrong! She's always telling me what I should and shouldn't do which usually causes an argument, (she gave my daughter a milk ice lolly at 3 months old, containing cows milk when I specifically told her not to give it her but she throught she would do it anyway, so we ended up on hospital for 24 hours!) but usually me and my partner say we deal with our own parents. This isn't working either
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  • SharLovesAlexSharLovesAlex member
    I know how you feel. I have made SEVERAL posts about my problems with my in laws. It's so out of hand. My husband's grandmother told him the other day not to "burn himself out" trying to provide for our family since we decided I wasn't going back to work. Then told him since I wasn't working, she didn't want him getting overworked. He told her how much work it is caring for our son. I have a post on here called "So Much Worse", that will give you an idea of what I've been dealing with. My husband had issues telling them to lay off, but recently changed due to a disagreement with his mother. I feel for you, girl. It isn't easy. He needs to talk to them and tell them what they're doing is not okay.
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  • torie2132torie2132 member
    My inlaws are SO STRANGE. My mother in law finally came to see the baby a few nights ago. Maybe the 6th time she's seen him since he was born as many months ago - he lost it when she tried to hold him. So she started saying really passive aggressive things like 'I know I don't see you as much as you see your mommas momma' and 'oh he loves your sister but he hates me - his Gigi' and to top it off 'well I'm just not gonna come see you if you're gonna act like that' WHO SAYS THAT?! I tell her she's MORE than welcome to come over whenever she wants - nap and my schedules permitting. I'd never EVER deny her coming to see him. But I'm in the same boat as pp - she only wants us to come to her. They have 0 baby things. A high chair that I think was used in Uncle Toms Cabin. Legit old wood and screws. No harness. It's at least 40 years old. They strap my nephew in with a scarf around his waist. Im NEVER going to let my kid in that. He'd need a tetanus shot! So basically while we're there he has nowhere to sit. My mom has everything. I don't even have to bring diapers. Sigh. They can be frustrating. I wish I had some advice for you. I just keep my mouth shut about it. /:
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  • mrsbrown211mrsbrown211 member
    I agree you guys about it usually needing to be At their house and also has no toys or area for LO to sleep or nap. Same with my father also. He thinks that I'm being extreme. Ugh. It's so of cause I really thought my mil would have been around more and more support. The week I have brith she came over and helped so much. It was the fondest memory of her and I together. I'm not sure why it's like this now. Makes me sad and mad and flat out annoyed!!!!
    I will read the posts you mentioned now!
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  • daniellarhhdaniellarhh member
    Same with my in laws, my daughter will stop with my mother once a fortnight as she has everything there for her. I literally don't have to take anything whereas my MIL asks me to bring pretty much the whole house when she's due to have my DD. it doesn't cost much just to buy her somewhere to sit! We had to buy her a travel cot as she insisted my daughter was to sleep in the bed with her as she didn't want to go buy one herself. I will also read the post
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  • MyCousinVinnyMyCousinVinny member
    First, you need to get your husband to support you.  Telling you to brush it off is not addressing the problem and he's indirectly enabling your ILs to act this way.  You are his wife, you are supposed to be his top priority along with his child.  If they are treating you this way, he needs to step it up and address this.

    Second, if this has been going on for a long time, I would not be so nice anymore.  "ILs, I've had quite enough of your childish behavior.  We don't need to like each other but you WILL respect me.  How I raise our child is our business, not yours.  Your advice is not needed nor wanted and if you continue to behave in this manner, expect to lose any and all contact with us."

    The end.  Just because it's family doesn't give them free reign to do anything they want.  
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