Suggestions for when you're having an "off" day. — The Bump
November 2015 Moms

Suggestions for when you're having an "off" day.

rice0308rice0308
Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Photogenic
member
edited September 2015 in November 2015 Moms
I am eight weeks out and struggling to stay positive. Due to my office job, my feet and ankles swell three times their size. Maternity clothes are bad enough, so throw in the fact that I can only wear one pair of flip flops and the weather has started to change and you get a very emotional and struggling expectant mother. I try to go online and find "suggestions" for clothing to wear and EVERY. SINGLE. PICTURE. is of a tiny size zero fake pregnant woman modeling clothes that would obviously look great on her, but most definitely not me. And to top it off, since I have to change clothes fifteen times every morning to find something that is halfway decent, I get a great look at the stretch marks that have slowly appeared all over my body. So not only do I get to experience limited clothing options now, I get to think about my future of never wearing a swimsuit or being attractive to my husband again. I know this is such a negative post, but this is usually how I feel every single morning. I've gotten better at not crying, but it's a struggle. Any suggestions on staying positive? Or even clothing suggestions for the fall when I can't fit into anything but flip flops. Any suggestions would help at this point. And please don't say that "it will all be worth it in end". Because it will, but that doesn't stop the anxiety and stress that I am feeling right now. Thank you!

Re: Suggestions for when you're having an "off" day.

  • If you dont already have mommy friends IRL, i strongly suggest you track some down. I find myself feeling incredibly isolated; I have nothing in common with DS's classmates' parents, we're new to the area, I moved from the UK so dont have a network of school friends here, and my colleagues are great but not people I'd spend time with outside of work. So I've joined the local La Lache League group so I can meet other local moms before this little spud arrives, and I plan to track down other groups in the coming weeks. I'd start by searching facebook for suitable groups in your area, look for an interest such as babywearing and your town.
    As for clothing, try Pink Blush and Target. Treat yourself to some statement jewellery. Fun earrings will fit no matter how round and swollen you feel.
    lakesideknitter
  • PP gave really good suggestions about reminding yourself this whole thing is temporary. I definitely get the stress of changing 15 times in a morning trying to figure out what to wear! I don't really like the look of maternity clothes, so I've mostly been going with leggings and long undershirts/tunic style shirts--super comfy and I still feel like I'm at least a little bit stylish, and that outfit would still look good with your flip flops! H&M has pretty affordable stuff, I just bought leggings that were a size up from what I usually wear so they are not too tight on my belly, maybe getting some non traditional maternity stuff instead of trying to fit into the mold of what everyone thinks pregnant ladies want to wear would help. I'm on a budget too, so I look for longer shirts at thrift stores and have found some really cute stuff for like $3-5 each. If you can afford it, getting your hair or toes done also helps a lot feeling better about yourself, I really can't right now, so I just try and do my hair/makeup before I leave the house so I don't feel like a total disaster.
    lakesideknitterktyd123
  • For the bad days when all else fails on clothes, I have this black blazer I bought a while back and throw it over any shirt. Since I also have the same problem with my feet/shoes, I now own about 5 pairs of kinda cheap flats and on casual friday I allow myself to wear sneakers to work. Since im obviously pregnant, no one even bats an eye. Ive began looking for a nice pair of comfortable boots too for the coming cooler months. On the mental side of things, remember that you are pregnant and should not hold yourself to the same standars you did when you werent! Sometimes you may feel like you look like hell but its mostly in your head, motherhood looks great on everyone. Good luck!
    krantoine
  • I have about 70% of my old dresses skirts that still fit me, usually flowy from the breasts down, tied behind the neck, just stretch. Or long stretch skirts. I also moved the skirts up to be a strapless top and added belts under the breasts. Works great. My feet are not swollen but I switched to ballerinas everyday and my desk is hidden so if needed I could remove then ?

    Thats all for outfit suggestions... As previous posts said, your body goes through more than a 9month change, our bodies change all the time, and not quick, you have to trust that by being healthy, you will go back to a body you appreciate, even if it is in a couple of years. In the meantime take it step by step, treat yourself if you feel like it, stay manually active too :) helps me to start some sewing or crafting projects around the house to not focus on your body if it depresses you.
  • I second flats, except for last pregnancy I stretched out a pair and had to toss them when I went back to my normal none swollen feet.
  • I second wearing leggings with tunics. Flip flops are fine to wear with leggings and honestly, people are so focused on how cute your bump looks they aren't looking at your feet. I've been wearing flip flops to the office and the only comment I've gotten is how great it is that I can still paint my toenails. Seriously, pregnant women get a free pass. Stay strong! I'm sure you look beautiful everyday, even when you don't feel like.
    lakesideknitter
  • Hang in there :-) First things first - stop comparing yourself to others, especially women in magazines I work in the fashion industry and I can tell you 100% of what you see has been manipulated in some way or form. Yes the models are good looking but the amount of make-up, lighting and retouching done to a photo is mind blowing. Don't belive the hype. You are growing life in your body so it is going to be some differences before and after. I know it's easier said than done but try to not focus on the negative... it's an excercise in futility because you can't control it. Focus on the positive - bigger boobs, nice long thick hair, things like that. If your old clothes don't fit anymore and you know this already stop torturing yourself every morning trying to wear them and go shopping. To get thru these last few weeks you only need a few things: black jeans, dark denim jeans, leggings, a few long sleeve tees, a button down shirt or two and an open cardigan or cape. Target is having buy 1 get 1 half off on tops, old navy is 20% off your total order, motherhood maternity is on sale and so is Macy's. Also look at asos or H&M for cheap basics to get you thru these last few weeks and the first few post-partum. As far as shoes go get you a pair of black slide on sneakers (like vans) or ballet flats. Things seem bleak now but trust me it will pass :-)
    dogsombrerothegingeravengerVexedMommy
  • I totally feel you, I can't wear any of my shoes but actually found some puma tennis shoe/flats on Amazon for about 25 bucks that are really comfy. Maternity clothes are awful. Hang in there we are almost done and the swelling should go away a couple weeks after birth.

    I agree with PP make sure you talk to your doctor about how you are feeing. If you can't escape the dark cloud then it's time for professional intervention. Hormones are a nasty B.
  • Thanks ladies!!!! Pregnancy has been a journey. I have amazing days and I have downright awful days. Today was an awful day. My DH has done so much better at being understanding and supportive, however, his support only goes so far! Most of the mothers I know are SAHM or are the formulate ones to be skinnier AFTER baby and have never experienced the sheer dread of stretch marks. As kind as they are to offer advice, it doesn't mean as much to me because there are parts of my pregnancy that they have never experienced. I hope that makes sense! I have tried on so many types and sizes of shoes and unfortunately the only kind that for are flip flops. An old pair of AE flip flops that are old and worn! They do the trick though! On a positive note, I am so beyond thankful that I work in an office with mostly woman. I feel for the women that have to be on their feet all day long. They are my heroes. Again, thanks for the perspectives!!!
  • I gave up on "maternity clothes". Have decided that the plus size department is much more stylish and comfortable!! Leggings and long shirts with a scarf and some stretchy shoes keep me from turning into a complete bear!! Hang in there sister!!  They will also get me through the first few months after baby comes. 
  • Maybe try some sketchers go walk shoes... They make them in "wide" and carry them at Kohl's. They're not super expensive but they're the only way I've been able to make it through working on my feet 40 hrs a week during this pregnancy. Oh, and they're slip on :)
  • I'm lucky, I do better in the cold than most. I've probably worn sneakers twice since May. I'm stuck sitting at work which is outside my normal job, but I am lucky to be able to get up and walk a lot. I'm having the horrible feet swelling too though no matter how much I move or water I drink. I will be rocking my flip flops until delivery at the end of October. The struggles are real but temporary. Remember the most awesome thing though:you are growing a person and not everyone gets to do that! You will get you back, you'll just be new and improved.
  • VexedMommyVexedMommy
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited September 2015
    Appropriate maternity office clothing is hard. I struggle with it. My feet have swollen quite a bit and shoes became difficult to wear. I've stuck to one pair khaki and one pair black maternity pants and fairly plain shirts/tanks with a pre pregnancy cardigan over it at work. The other ladies are right about statement jewelry. It can make a big difference in a look.

    As for your feet, try putting them up beneath your desk and try flats in a stretchy fabric like faux suede at least one size possibly two up. If you can swing it financially go treat your hard working pregnant body. Get a pedicure and a massage. If it's too much money, maybe you and some friends could get together for a girls night in spa night.
    If there's something strange underneath the hood.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  If there's something weird and it don't look good.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  Immediately.  If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor.  It's for your health and your child's. 




  • I'm normally a size 8 or 8 1/2 and am now a 10W. Just know it's not you. I do prenatal yoga and my yoga instructor said something that helped me. She said that this change in your body and your willingness to let it happen is your first act of unconditional love for your child. I just thought it was kind of sweet.
    VexedMommyrice0308
  • I am the same way! I drink a gallon of water a day and have literally tried everything. If it helps at all, I finally found what works best for me. It's movement! My ankles and feet were so huge on Sunday, but I shoved them into my tennis shoes (that are a size and a half bigger than what I normally wear) and went and played disc golf for two hours. The hiking and movement brought the swelling down. I basically have to find two hours a day to be on my feet to avoid the swelling. It's easier on the weekends!
  • I'm lucky, I do better in the cold than most. I've probably worn sneakers twice since May. I'm stuck sitting at work which is outside my normal job, but I am lucky to be able to get up and walk a lot. I'm having the horrible feet swelling too though no matter how much I move or water I drink. I will be rocking my flip flops until delivery at the end of October. The struggles are real but temporary. Remember the most awesome thing though:you are growing a person and not everyone gets to do that! You will get you back, you'll just be new and improved.

    I am the same way! I drink a gallon of water a day and have literally tried everything. If it helps at all, I finally found what works best for me. It's movement! My ankles and feet were so huge on Sunday, but I shoved them into my tennis shoes (that are a size and a half bigger than what I normally wear) and went and played disc golf for two hours. The hiking and movement brought the swelling down. I basically have to find two hours a day to be on my feet to avoid the swelling. It's easier on the weekends!
  • I'm normally a size 8 or 8 1/2 and am now a 10W. Just know it's not you. I do prenatal yoga and my yoga instructor said something that helped me. She said that this change in your body and your willingness to let it happen is your first act of unconditional love for your child. I just thought it was kind of sweet.

    I am normally a nine and struggle getting into an 11! It's crazy! Thank you for sharing! Il that is sweet!
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