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July 2015 Moms
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"Spoiled" baby

LynzwebbLynzwebb member
in July 2015 Moms
My DD is 7 weeks old and wants to be held constantly. I can set her down awake for about 5 minutes before she starts screaming. If she is asleep and I lay her down she wakes up. I usually wear her in a wrap for one of her naps so I can get something done, but besides that she is in my arms. Is that typical for a baby this age? My DH says I am spoiling her and I should not hold her so much. I think she is still too little to be left to cry, and definitely don't want to do that yet (maybe not at all). At what age should I start worrying about creating/reaffirming bad habbits? I am going back to work full time at 12 weeks, so I want to try to get her to be more independent by then. Any tips?
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Re: "Spoiled" baby

  • ToAoSheshaToAoShesha member
    Your baby is still so young. You are her comfort, safety and whole world. You are all she knows and she needs you. Comfort and hold your baby mama. Trust me they are only so tiny for a short time and you will NEVER look back and regret holding her when you did.

    I actually went to a sleep specialist presentation on Friday. She said that before 16 weeks your baby needs to be held and tended to. To do whatever it takes to get them to sleep that they need it now to learn how to sleep later. At 16 weeks they become more aware of their surroundings and abilities and go through a rough patch with sleeping (she said it lasts about 2 weeks). After that she said you can gently start to work on sleeping without being held and working on sleep "crutches" (like currently mine only sleeps if latched on). Gentle approaches can help to work on it then and not before. But even then she said you shouldn't "sleep train" until 6 months.

    So hold that baby and love on her. Everything else can wait. You are building trust and good habits and comforting skills she will need later.
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  • qtjo5qtjo5 member
    DH and I argue ovee the spoil issue all the time. In the end, I do whatever I want regardless of our differences. :-)
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  • PurpleBookmarkPurpleBookmark member
    Your baby is way too young to be spoiled. Enjoy the snuggles and if your DH complains let him try to put baby to sleep without holding her.

    Don't stress too much about having her less dependent at 12 weeks, if she is going into daycare she will probably get on more of a schedule then. Enjoy your time with her meanwhile!
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  • randa923randa923 member
    You can't spoil a baby at that age. My DH said the same thing. He loves research so I made him look up some information on it and turns out I was right. Even doctors that advocate for cry it out say not to do it before 3 months. In fact my MIL told me I was spoiling him last week and I told her it's impossible to spoil a 2 month old. My husband automatically took my side and said it is impossible. Keep holding that baby momma. One day they're not going to want to be held anymore.
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  • annabellpagetannabellpaget member
    I have a 7 week old baby and she is the same. Every time I put her down she wakes up.
    She is even like this at night which is hard so sometimes I end up having her in bed co-sleeping. I never wanted to do this but she sleeps much better like this.
    I have googled so many things to see if I'm spoiling her and everything I have read says that you can't spoil a newborn baby. Research shows that holding your baby will make them more independent later on in life.
    It's hard as everyone says spot spoiling her, put her down and I hate it as it makes you feels horrible but I love cuddling my baby and couldn't imagen leaving her cry when she needs me.
    Do what is best for you and your baby all that matters is that you are both happy.
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  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    Our daughter is like that too. We keep trying though. When we put her down we make her surroundings comfortable. Like during the day when she takes her naps I make sure that she is laying down on a nice and soft blanket and that I am always near so when she wakes up she sees me and knows I am there. When we change her and everytime we put her down we try and make the transition nice and fun. So we put links in her hands or shake toys on the side or above her to distract her. When we put her in the crib, we make sure that she sees us above her and we play music, sing and dance for her to make her happy. Play around with it and have fun :)
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  • Jurse1018Jurse1018 member
    My 7 week old isn't crazy about being put down either. I can put her down after she's fallen asleep and she won't wake up immediately but she definitely doesn't sleep as long as she would if I were holding her. Just recently I've noticed that were able to set her down while she's awake (I like to think that it's because she feels safe and knows that we'll pick her up if she needs it) but not for more than 10 minutes at a time. My mom told me I was spoiling her, too, but all of the stuff I've read states that it's just not true; babies under the 3 months can't be spoiled, they need to be held and responded to when crying, so I snuggle my baby and feel no guilt about it! :)
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  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member
    Another one here who swore she was never going to sleep with baby in the bed. Ha! LO is 7 weeks tomorrow and, like yours, is not a fan of being put down, ever. I refuse to CIO so in our bed she is. I think we will look back on this time as some of the sweetest moments you will ever have with your child. Me, I realized I love waking up and seeing my daughter's beautiful, peacefully sleeping face right there. When I'm wearing her in the carrier because I need to make dinner and she cries within minutes of me setting her I
    down, it doesn't frustrate me, instead I can't stop giving her kisses on her sweet little head. Your baby needs and craves your closeness and comfort and that is more than okay. Do what feels right for you, not what everybody else thinks is right.
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  • eclohoecloho member
    Have you ever heard a mother say I regret that I held my child too much as a baby??? I doubt it...
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    My husband and I had this issue with out first daughter. She started not wanting to be put down, then had to cosleep with us. We had a queen size bed and it was tight to have the three of us and our pup in the bed, so like any rational parents we bought a king size bed. Problem solved!

    try not to stress. People will always give their opinions but the best advice that anyone gave us was to "do what works for us." If that means holding and "spoiling" baby, I can live with that.

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  • Savanna111911Savanna111911 member
    We have started to have this some during the day with our 6 week old. Fortunately she will still sleep in the pack n play at night. She sleeps every time I put her in the moby though so I do that once a day so I can get things done. I work from home and getting things done is essential so I need my hands. That's why the moby has been great for me.
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