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July 2015 Moms
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Bad wife? Clingy mom?

caradenisebcaradeniseb member
in July 2015 Moms
DS is almost 7 weeks old. He is our first. I love him so much I could explode. He sleeps in a bassinet next to my side of the bed. He rarely cries, just grunts until I wake up to feed him. DH and I are doing great, the spark is still there even with a newborn!

Here's my struggle... Both DH and MIL seem to think he should move into a crib in the next week or two. DH says he needs to learn to sleep in his own room and MIL says it's bad for our relationship that he stays in our room. She presses that she had her 4 babies in a separate room from day 1. The thought of him staying in a room, all alone, way on the other side of the house is enough to throw me into full on anxiety attack.

I want to stand strong, but the pressure to move him to the crib is making me doubt myself. Then comes the anxiety. What if something awful happened and I couldn't get to him? What if feeding turns into a chore because I have to walk through the house and back every time? I just can't imagine him leaving my side when he's so little. Maybe in a few months but not right now.

Am I crazy? Is my son going to be disfunctional because I won't let him sleep on his own? Is my marriage really going to suffer?
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Re: Bad wife? Clingy mom?

  • HandreeHandree member
    Stand your ground! You could also point out to them that sleeping in the same room with mom reduced the risk of sids. We sleep in the same room but we're in a one bedroom for now. Even if baby had his own room, I would still want to sleep near him. They are too small to be alone all night in my opinion.
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  • mbilbrey00mbilbrey00 member
    Agree with PP, reduces SIDS by 50%. My mom tells me all the time to put my LO on his belly to sleep because that's what she did with all her kids. A lot has changed since they've had babies!
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  • jtenkorangjtenkorang member
    I think if you can keep him with you. I'm heading back to work soon so I'm going to start transitioning my twins into their own room. I did the same with my daughter and she's slept through the night since she was 6 weeks old. Everyone is different. Stand your ground if you want to keep him with you. My twins are going to be just across the hall so it's not that far of a move for them either.
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  • PurpleBookmarkPurpleBookmark member
    It's better to keep them in your room, it reduces the SIDS risk. I believe it's recommended for at least the first 6 months although I may be mistaken.

    Don't stress about it hurting your marriage, it sounds like you two are happy and I don't think this will affect that. If you still have that spark with a newborn, that is great!
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  • pandd10513pandd10513 member
    My LO room is 2 steps from our bedroom and I can't bring myself to move her to her crib! Do what feels right for you and ignore the rest!
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  • keri0426keri0426 member
    As PP stated, start putting LO in own room for naps during the day. Let MIL know that sleeping with you reduces sids risk by 50% for the first 6 months. My MIL likes to put her two cents in and I am starting to stand my ground. It has only taken 12 years of marriage and 3 children but I am able to speak up and tell her how it is going to be. Good luck!
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  • benmichelebenmichele member
    With my first we were in a one bedroom until he was 10mo, so he was in our room. Reflecting on that experience, we think we'll move our new son to his room around 5 or 6mo. He naps in there already, to get used to it. There's a sleep regression at 4mo we want to get through, and then they start consistently sleeping longer stretches so you're not having to walk across the house to feed as often. They also become more aware around then too, so it gets harder to be in the same room without disrupting them.
    Pregnancy Ticker

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  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    I couldn't imagine having my son in another room either. It's so much easier for nursing in the middle of the night. My son also doesn't cry when he wakes up..he just wiggles around and makes noise.
    Having him sleep in another room would probably cause more lack of sleep cause you'll be up checking on him. I know I would be. Especially since he doesn't cry when he is hungry, id be worried I wouldn't hear him wake up so I'd be checking on him all the time.
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    corndogrobot said:

    When people suggest that you move your baby to the other room, usually it's people that don't have to get up in the middle of the night to feed them. Move your baby when YOU are ready.

    Preach
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  • beeishbeeish member
    Honestly I don't know what the hurry is to move LO to a crib. I'm not in any hurry to move my LO. When I feel she is ready I'll move her. You should stand your ground and do what you think is right. Tell your MIL to kick rocks!
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  • beccer123beccer123 member
    DD was still in my bed until around age 4. I was a young mom with her and living with my mom and grandma so we shared a room and she slept with me most of the time. I don't regret it at all! Do what's best for you and the baby. The hell with everyone else! DS is in a pack and play in my room and I don't see us moving him for a little while. 
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  • caradenisebcaradeniseb member
    Thanks for help everyone! I really like the idea of letting him nap in there so that he's at least used to being in the room. I'll be awake so it's less stressful since I can check on him often. Hopefully that pacifies the MIL and DH. At the end of the day, you're right, since I am feeding him it's more my choice. I'll reconsider as he grows or DH and I start to become impacted by him being in the room. Glad to hear that I'm not the only one that's just not ready to be apart from LO at night.
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  • lovehorse77lovehorse77 member
    edited September 2015
    I think you should move your LO from a bassinet in your room to a crib in his room when you and your hubby are ready. My little girl has slept in her crib in her room from day 1 due to me being terrified of her winding up in our bed and something bad happening. I want to have to get all the way up every time she needs anything at night. Each baby and each family have different comfort levels and preferences with different things. What you're doing, baby in the same room but own sleep space is EXACTLY what is recommended. You should feel really good about how you're doing it and stick to what you feel is right.
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