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Baby selfish FTM

YoungwithraYoungwithra member
in July 2015 Moms
My LO is 10 weeks old. MIL has been asking me when will I leave her the baby for a weekend. She has asked 3 times so far.... Today she asked again but she said she understands the wait... That she'll wait till "I'm ready" I'm a FTM and I don't want to leave my LO to anyone not even my parents lol

Anyone feeling like this?
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Re: Baby selfish FTM

  • Vronyo16Vronyo16 member
    My mom keeps saying she will babysit anytime and always brings it up but I am not ready at all to leave my LO with anyone because I will miss her too much and I don't see a reason for it yet! One day I am sure I will change my mind :)
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  • meganpatelmeganpatel member
    I couldn't leave DD for a weekend for a very long time! I struggle even leaving her for an hour to go get my hair done. Don't let anyone pressure you into it sweets
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  • Hopeful715Hopeful715 member
    Honestly, I won't even leave her with Hubby yet, and he's the only one with an equal right to have her!
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  • ToAoSheshaToAoShesha member
    So I am a psycho mom so take that into consideration. But I never leave my children. My daughter is 2 and I just started going out for a date night after she is asleep at night. Even then I only do it when one of our parents baby sits. When I had my July baby was the first night I had ever need away from her.

    It's just not happening. I don't know if you are breastfeeding but it is a great reason the baby can't be away from you. But you don't need one, you are he mom and your baby is so young. Stand for you want. If you want a break then take it guilt free, you deserve it. If it isn't for you don't.
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  • dolly0132dolly0132 member
    I'm sure one day I will feel ok leaving her but can't imagine it yet!
    Don't think I stayed overnight with my own grandparents til I was about 2!
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  • PurpleBookmarkPurpleBookmark member
    The only overnights our kids have had were for babysitting purposes - DD1 birth, anniversary weekend and DD2 birth. All of these were at our house where all there supplies are.

    Now that DS is 4 he's independent and actually would look forward to an overnight trip with grandparents. My DD1 is nearly 2 and she would miss me for sure.
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  • lizzypoo96lizzypoo96 member
    Have you thought about having her babysit for a short time just to shit her up? Maybe long enough for you to go out to dinner or get a pedicure? After having all my in laws bugging me to babysit I finally stared doing that. I will say being able to have some time to myself or DH has made me a better mom



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  • greatgrandbaby7greatgrandbaby7 member
    I can't imagine leaving my 7 week old LO for a weekend at this point and can't imagine where I'd want to go without him for that long. I left him for a full evening for the first time last night and even then he stayed home with DH. It was my brother's 50th birthday dinner and my LO is colicky so we couldn't bring him out to the restaurant - he stayed home and cried all evening with DH :(
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  • YoungwithraYoungwithra member
    Hopeful715 said:

    Honestly, I won't even leave her with Hubby yet, and he's the only one with an equal right to have her!

    lizzypoo96 said:

    Have you thought about having her babysit for a short time just to shit her up? Maybe long enough for you to go out to dinner or get a pedicure? After having all my in laws bugging me to babysit I finally stared doing that. I will say being able to have some time to myself or DH has made me a better mom




    When he was 6 weeks old, DH and I wanted u go see a movie so she babysat him for 5 hours... Ever since that day she's been asking when will she babysit again lol
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  • LacieMacLacieMac member
    I have let my Mom babysit a couple of times for about 3 hours...that's about all I handle at this point. I return to work on Friday so I will have to get used to leaving her so I am trying to prep myself. There is nothing wrong with not letting your MIL take your LO for the weekend, she is so young and you are her comfort.
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  • catheyshaqcatheyshaq member
    I can't imagine leaving my little girl. I will admit I am selfish with her but so what ! I carried her for 10 months I have ever right to be.
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  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    We recently went to my husbands family reunion and my husband kept saying "you can leave him with my grandma"
    So we could enjoy the spa at the hotel
    NO.
    I'll just take a hot bath, with my baby, and be much happier.

    Plus his grandma whispered in my ear that our relationship isn't secure because we aren't married.

    We have a domestic partnership, which is essentially the same thing, were more concerned with buying a house right now than having a wedding.
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    @ashleytiff you should have whispered to her that seeing your baby wasn't secure either if she didn't stop talking shit. I hate people.

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  • Savanna111911Savanna111911 member
    Ckorines said:

    @ashleytiff you should have whispered to her that seeing your baby wasn't secure either if she didn't stop talking shit. I hate people.

    Ha! This!
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  • mrsjones1012mrsjones1012 member
    edited September 2015
    To put a bit of a different opinion out there... My little girl stayed the night with grandma and grandpa at 6 weeks old (FTM). I also exclusively breastfeed, so I sent some breast milk with her and pumped while she was gone. It was my husbands and my anniversary, and it was nice to go out to a nice restaurant and come back home and have some drinks together, and get some rest! I'll admit I almost backed out, but I'm glad I didn't because it was good for all of us. Obviously don't let them pressure you. But If it's someone you trust and feel comfortable with, it's nice to do on occasion. I feel like it will benefit our marriage, let us have some adult time. Just my thoughts. ;;)
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  • acciocoffeeacciocoffee member
    I get this from both my mom and my MIL. Don't let them pressure you into it, especially for an entire weekend! That would be very hard on you and your child! Just because she wants some baby cuddles doesn't mean that you need to hand over your baby to her.
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  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @Ckorines you are my favorite person on this thing. You have the best responses.
    I told her a house for our kid to grow up in is a little more important then a marriage certificate.
    And how is a piece of paper going to make our relationship more secure than a living being we created together? Shut up grandma
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  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member
    I can't even imagine letting my baby go anywhere for one night, let alone a whole weekend. We left her with my MIL for about 4 hours last week and I was super anxious about that lol. It will be a long while before we are separated for an entire weekend.
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  • LibbyC730LibbyC730 member
    I've got my weekend overnight rotation coming up at work. Last rotation DH was home and had solo daddy duty all weekend. It was great! Gave daddy some perspective on what I do every night and some great bonding time with LO.
    This coming weekend, however, DH is out of town and my MIL can only take LO Friday and Sunday night. I have a dear friend watching him Saturday night and she's super mom--but in still freaked at the idea. MIL will be staying here with him, with my friend he'll be at a new house, with new people--panicking already! Thinking I will still beg DH to come home!!
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    @ashleytiff bumpie soul sistas!! Grams sounds awful. Don't listen to that old lady!
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  • YoungwithraYoungwithra member
    Hubby has mentioned he's ok with him staying over the weekend /:) he's crazy, if anything HE can go spend over the weekend at his moms not my baby lol :))
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  • ptbwillsptbwills member
    Why don't you just invite her to yours?

    If she is anything like my MIL I advised you to steer clear and just tell her if will never happen. Make any excuse like, 'you will miss her too much'!
    If you let her look after you LO for a day, she will think she is the expert
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  • NewMumzy25NewMumzy25 member
    Haha, wow some people say the rudest things to moms I swear family or not I would have verbally slapped grandma if she told me my relationship wasn't safe....

    I'm a FTM as well and I struggled leaving him at home with his uncle's and one of their gfs for 20 min... My hubby and i ran to the store while he was asleep and I kept asking him if he got a text and looking at my phone. I prefer to enjoy the time to myself while people hold him in the same house as me. Not that i don't trust them I just don't want to be too far away from my baby. He will be 10 weeks on Friday. I am having trouble at the idea of leaving him for a couple hours so a bunch of family and hubby and I can go out shooting. Hubby understands and we feel the same way about alot of things but he thinks we should be okay for a fee hours. But he also works ten hour days and doesn't get to see him till after work. I'm with him 24/7 and HES MY BABY BOY. Lol MY PRECIOUS! So not selfish just momma bear instincts to be with your baby and know 100% he's okay cause he's with you.
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