Community› The Bump Month Clubs› July 2015 Moms
July 2015 Moms
New Discussion

a couple questions

TiaragentileTiaragentile member
in July 2015 Moms
Can't put baby down unless he's sleeping. Any advice ?
Only mom calms him down while crying. Dad gets upset. Any advice ? He can do the same thing as me just no luck as soon as I touch him he's fine .
Changing sleeping schedule ? Is that possible. He doesn't sleep for a good amount of time until 2 am every night
Report Reply to Post

Re: a couple questions

  • claudia3059claudia3059 member
    I have this problem too. It's exhausting and relentless. I think it's contributing to my ppd. I don't have any great advice other than having people take her even just for 15 mins to give you a break. She will probably cry but it's not so long that she will be affected and you can take a quick bath or just be away from her.

    It's really hard...I feel your pain!
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • keri0426keri0426 member
    Have you tried walking outside for a little bit while LO and DH bond a little. I read that babies can smell mom 10 feet away, perhaps LO just knows you are there. My son keeps asking me why my DD likes me the most, it breaks my heart. She has just been with me so much and knows my moves, not because she doesn't like my DS.
    Report Reply
  • tasharchibaldtasharchibald member
    Your basically their sole caregiver. You know just the right way to hold them or bounce or rock that they like best. My LO is the same. One day they won't only want mom and that will be hard too. Remind DH that there may come a time when only dad can do it right. My older DD is doing this now! Dad is the coolest thing ever!
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • corndogrobotcorndogrobot member
    I could have written this post exactly. There can be nothing wrong with my baby and I hand her to my husband and she looses her mind. I have so much anxiety about it. I'm trying to find a sitter to watch both kids one day a week to work and get out of the house. This is giving me more anxiety because she also won't take a bottle.
    My only advice is get dad to wear the baby. That has worked a few times for us just walking around target. And it makes him feel like she loves him. It's hard because my husband travels so much for work he's not here every day to get and give snuggles.
    Report Reply
  • jmucc421jmucc421 member
    I can't put my baby down when she's sleeping lol she'll sit in various things while she's awake (bouncer, swing, mamaroo, etc). I'm sure you've probably tried those but just incase. Many people have said about baby wearing. I bought a moby wrap but was totally overwhelmed with all the steps to get it on, so I bought a cheap one that looks like a baby bjourn. Baby hates it. I have a balboa sling coming from target..hoping she likes that for the days she won't let me put her down at all

    As far as calming down for u, mine does the same thing. My dh gets out out but I just try to explain that she lived in me for 9 months lol
    Report Reply
  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    For your first question, that's how my daughter was at first and then we just kept trying to put her down and did things so that she should like laying down and not always on us. Like music, talking, reading, dancing, toys. She's fine now, sometimes she has her days where she just wants to be held. But sometimes she just lays down and she is fine on her own and can sleep.

    For your Second question, not everything works for everyone. For example, she likes to lay on me more then she likes to lay on him and I think it's because I have a bigger chest and it just fits better for her. BUT she likes it better when he walks her around the house then when I do it. And I think it's because she probably feels more secure and likes the view from him then me. My suggestion is that your husband tries something different. If what you do calms him down isn't working for him, let him try and calm the baby down in his own way. It takes patience and it might help him bond with the baby :)

    For the third question I recommend that you play around with it. It is hard and you have to work around the babies schedule most times BUT you can do little things to help. You can feed the baby more during the day so that the baby sleeps longer at night. You can try and do things to help the baby fall asleep early evening. Like our daughter would sleep at around 12-1 every night and we started turning off the lights and the noise around 7-8 and calming her down and stopped playing too much with her. Starting her bedtime routine such as reading a few books and stretching and massaging her and soon she was sleeping at around 10. Good luck! :D
    Report Reply
  • randa923randa923 member
    How old is your LO? It's really a bit too early for routines. I would definitely try to start a bedtime routine so eventually he gets the hang of it. We read and have a bottle. Tgen we rock for awhile. I do rock my little guy to sleep and he wakes up when I try to move him to the crib. I leave one hand on his head and rub his belly for a few minutes. This seems to help. We also have a music thing someone bought us that hooks to the crib. It plays lullabies for 30 minutes and slowly gets quieter. We start that right after his bottle.

    I think all daddies feel this way. My husband never says it, but I can tell that he's annoyed that I can calm him down quicker. I do remind him that he cries a lot for me too, but he just know me better because I 'grew him'. I also point out all the things he does that I don't. There's really nothing that's going to change until dad starts putting in the time we moms do and figuring out what works. I didn't know how to make him stop crying at first and even now sometimes it takes me awhile. I make suggestions to DH of things I do that help-walk, bounce, rock, sing, go outside. It's really just trial and error.
    Report Reply
  • gardensparrowgardensparrow member
    Well, a lot of great advice offered already. And, as others shared, usually this is just temporary. Right now, you're doing most of the caring for him and he's understandably used to being around you more. But, as he gets older, a lot of times this will switch around and they can't get enough of dad. So, tell your husband to give it time. Also, the more opportunities your husband can take to be with your son-even if you're there too-the more they'll have a chance to bond. Lastly, if it helps, there's some suggestions in these articles on separation anxiety with babies and sleep schedules that might be worth reading through. Just FYI!
    Report Reply
  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member
    My baby is the same. I seriously think babies can smell Mom and they know when Mom is near. And, in my case, I'm who she's with all day every day. I'm who she's used to. My husband has said before he doesn't think she likes him which broke my heart. But like I told him, there will come a time when she is all about Daddy and will be over Mom!

    Are there any activities your baby likes? Mine loves the bath so I have been letting DH bathe her by himself so she associates Daddy with fun bath time. Maybe you can try something similar?
    Anniversary 
     
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"