Could use some encouragement

Kourtneyleibman · September 2015

I'm 12.5 weeks pregnant. I tried for years to get pregnant, worked with a specialist. Got pregnant last spring and miscarried at 10 weeks, but baby was only 7.5 weeks. This pregnancy has been different, but I'm still so scared every day. The fact that my baby died last time two weeks before I had any symptoms of loss has been the scariest part. I bought a Doppler, but have been afraid to use it as I am plus-sized (18-20) and have heard that some plus women have trouble finding a heartbeat with the at-home Dopplers, and I feel like I would panic if I couldn't find a heartbeat. My next appointment isn't for 2 weeks. I guess I'm really just looking for tips to cope with this anxiety and some encouragement. Thank you.

PlainJane8350 · September 2015

Hi, Kourtney!

I was the same way. My husband wouldn't let me buy a doppler for that very reason...but I was still crazy!

Early on, nothing helped but an ultrasound (and I made myself sick on the way there because that's how we discovered our loss).

My best advice is to distract yourself and find support people. You're welcome to e-mail me any time as I can definitely relate!

Plainjane19792001@gmail.com

I distracted myself with anything that I had to fully concentrate on: true crime shows, Sudoku puzzles, etc.

Once you reach a point where you feel a little better, and you will, I distracted myself by researching baby stuff: registering for your baby shower (even if you don't share the registry yet), researching things for baby (developmental toys, breast pumps, bottles, etc.) and planning (even if it's just on paper) the nursery.

I only give you the last list because I woke-up on day, probably around 18 weeks, and realized that I was actually planning on having another loss...not a baby. At some point, allow yourself to enjoy your pregnancy. The nurse at my doctor's office told me even if it's just one hour per day.

rachrobertson · September 2015

I have a Doppler and am plus sized as well. I didn't try until 12 weeks and couldn't find the heartbeat until 14 weeks. I am now 17 weeks and have days where I can't find baby but hear him kicking the Doppler and days where I find him and he moves. I don't feel super anxious if I can't find him unless I am coming up on a doctor appointment and I am afraid they won't be able to find him either. Dopplers definitely have pros and cons. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!

Kourtneyleibman · September 2015

Thank you @PlainJane8350 and @rachelrobertson . I am going to hold off on using my Doppler until my next appointment, if I can. I just wish I could magically know that he/she is ok. I feel like it is 2015 and it's kind of crazy how mysterious everything is. Thanks so much for your replies. This has been so nerve-wracking. I thought I would feel better if I could get through the 1st trimester, which I nearly have.

gardensparrow · September 2015

Hi Kourtney~

Well, the way you're feeling is totally understandable. I think anyone who's miscarried has similar fears. But it's easy to let them get out of hand and take away the joy of your current pregnancy. So, I second Plainjane's thoughts about finding things to distract you from these worries. Or just take a moment to unburden yourself with a loved one when these thoughts are weighing on you. Sometimes just getting them off your chest with someone can help you gain a little perspective. But I know this is all easier said than done. So, I'll definitely be keeping you and your little one in my prayers!

Could use some encouragement

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