Advice? (long)

semulcahy · September 2015

I'm really sorry if there is already a thread about this. I'm on mobile and it's hard for me to find specific things. Anyway, the last time I went to the midwife, I talked to her about feeling a little down and having panic attacks. She referred me to a counselor, and though I've only been once since, the feelings I've been having are making it harder and harder just to function every day. I don't want to eat, I don't want to leave the house, some days I don't even want to get out of bed. My midwife said if things got to this point, she'd want to put me on medication. I've been on certain medications for mood disorders before, and don't like the way some of them make me feel. I'm also concerned that the drugs would harm my otherwise healthy baby, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I feel like I'm a big girl; I should be able to deal with my feelings and not put my baby at risk. I don't know what to do

lvbyrd · September 2015

From someone who was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder I will tell you that I quit my meds and looked to God to help me through. I have bad days but on those bad days I get on my knees and pray and pray until I feel better. And if that doesn't work I open up my bible and just start reading. I'm not sure if you are a believer but I wouldn't suggest it if it hadn't worked for me. And I was on the highest dosage of metazopine two years ago. And your right they do make you feel bad. It's all about coping and dealing with your feelings and knowing that they can be handled. All these pregnancy hormones make those feelings worse but that just means taking more time to process why your feeling a certain way.

Lolo427 · September 2015

So though I respect PP school of thought, I am of a different mentality. The best thing you can possibly do for your baby is take care of yourself, and that includes mentally. There are plenty of approved meds for pregnancy that have been studied extensively and show complete safety for baby. That being said if your still anti-medication you should and need to be proactive about other methods of coping such as finding a counselor or seeking support groups.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

semulcahy said:
I'm really sorry if there is already a thread about this. I'm on mobile and it's hard for me to find specific things. Anyway, the last time I went to the midwife, I talked to her about feeling a little down and having panic attacks. She referred me to a counselor, and though I've only been once since, the feelings I've been having are making it harder and harder just to function every day. I don't want to eat, I don't want to leave the house, some days I don't even want to get out of bed. My midwife said if things got to this point, she'd want to put me on medication. I've been on certain medications for mood disorders before, and don't like the way some of them make me feel. I'm also concerned that the drugs would harm my otherwise healthy baby, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I feel like I'm a big girl; I should be able to deal with my feelings and not put my baby at risk. I don't know what to do

I feel this way all the time. I'm also not on any Meds and I'm also looking to God to get me through. I haven't slept through the night in months, honestly between the hormones and the reality that I've lost everything in my former life I used to define myself, some days I just want to close my eyes, lay down and wait to die. Actually, most days. Every day.

Please don't give up. PM me if you ever need to talk, I am the last woman in the world who can judge you. One of the advantages of being a train wreck is that you learn that people are just people trying not to go crazy.

No real advice...but you aren't alone. And your determination is there. You can do this.

dapoint23 · September 2015

As someone who has dealt with depression from adolesence, I know it's difficult, but people often push mental health aside because it's not visible and they think they should be able to handle it. But, would you do the same if you had a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding? You are not weak for seeking help and if that means medication there are plenty of safe options, but there are also other routes including yoga and meditation. If it's getting in the way of daily functioning, you and baby deserve better. Also, you are at a higher risk of post-partum depression issues so it would probably best if you were already being taken care of.

*edit because "post-party " depression isn't a thing

kbonel · September 2015

I dealt with and treated anxiety for about 5 years then decided to get off the medication to possibly prepare for having a kid. There is a lot of studies on types of food that can really help adjust your mood. I agree with PPs that it is super important to be seen but if you want to avoid taking medication or even just not take it long term there are foods that seem to help if you get them in your diet every day. In fact I just read that turmeric "golden milk" can help with everything from cold symptoms to depression. Google it if you are interested. Also getting the doc to perscibe something that you can take occasionally or just to help you through particularly rough days can help too if you are trying to avoid long term. Hormones are weird, you brain can be in chemical imbalance but one thing is for sure you don't deserve to feel this way. Get some help, medical, spiritual, or food you deserve to feel better. Also acupuncture has actually helped me on really bad days. My anxiety is usually linked to head aches so may be worth seeing someone, it's cheaper than the doc and you can always scratch it I it doesn't help. Good luck

Abonsut · September 2015

Please do not give up on yourself and your mental health (anyone!) You cannot care for anyone else if you cannot care for yourself. As pp said, there are a lot of meds out there that are safe in the third tri. Keep the lines of communication open with providers and keep asking questions and letting them know if things haven't changed. You don't have to suffer. Hugs mamas!

kmkrushi · September 2015

Please, please go seek help. Reach back out to the counselor, talk to your Midwife/doctor. And please be open to the idea of medicine. It is vital that you are healthy for the sake of you and your child.
It drives me crazy when people are against "labels". It's not a label it's a diagnosis. People with cancer don't say the same thing. The mental health stigma is what keeps people from seeking treatment and getting better. They suffer and silence for years, living half a life, until many can't anymore. Get help and seek treatment so you can live a whole life.

thegingeravenger · September 2015

This is probably going to get me some flack.

You wouldn't expect someone with cancer to just "suck it up" and "deal with it" without medication, would you? Or someone with a broken bone? I've been diagnosed with depression for a very long time and can honestly tell you that there's zero shame in needing help with it. Just because there's no sign of physical trauma doesn't mean that you can't get help. In fact, you should! There's so many medications that are safe during pregnancy and the absolute best thing you can do for your child is to try and insure that you are a happy and healthy mom-to-be. Keep going to the counselor, ask them for advice, and tell your midwife your concerns about the medications. Call you previous healthcare providers if you need to and get a list of the meds that you took that didn't work for you and give them to your midwife.

thefithuntress · September 2015

I agree with the previous posters about medication. Just because you can't see your imbalances and what's going on in your brain doesn't mean you don't have an illness. Talk to professionals and make sure you are medicated if necessary. Don't blame yourself and do everything you can to prepare for your little one. A great diet, exercise, and spoiling yourself every now and then will only help the cause.

HellsAngel22 · September 2015

I have suffered with depression for a long time now & one thing I will say is it can not go undiagnosed.
There is no shame in the way you feel. You are not a failure. In fact reaching out like your doing now shows you are stronger than you realise.
Please continue to see your councillor & work with your midwife. They are there to help & would never give you anything that would harm your unborn child.

lulamagoo · September 2015

Please reach out for help sooner rather than later. There is no shame in needing medication and/or help.
For those that are feeling his way, it doesn't automatically go away once the baby is born. It often gets worse. Hormones and sleep deprivation are a very scary combination and having a support system or plan in place ahead of time can be helpful.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

thefithuntress said:
I agree with the previous posters about medication. Just because you can't see your imbalances and what's going on in your brain doesn't mean you don't have an illness. Talk to professionals and make sure you are medicated if necessary. Don't blame yourself and do everything you can to prepare for your little one. A great diet, exercise, and spoiling yourself every now and then will only help the cause.

I agree with this though honestly I think it's difficult to just accept the word of some person who can't offer you any empirical evidence and willingly swallow medication.

It can sometimes be a process. Usually the first step of that process is not medication---it's finding the root cause if there is one.

OP I advise you to see a therapist though I hate giving that advice, especially if you are like me and have tried a dozen times only to get null out of it. But try try try again. As to that, as soon to be mums, we don't have a choice in the matter. We don't have the luxury of giving up now.

scw89 · September 2015

I have an anxiety disorder that was diagnosed years ago. Even with counseling, I chose to stay on a low dose of Zoloft. I tried a few times over the years to wean off and it didn't work and because I've done well the whole pregnancy, I wasn't going to change it. Everyone is different.

eamarat · September 2015

@thegingeravenger has nailed it on the head.

A lot of us have been through issues of anxiety and depression, it's real and difficult to handle by yourself, and it's not always possible to take it a day at a time.

You need a good support system, the worst thing in the world is to have your mother (or brother, or cousin, or friend) tell you it's just a lack of: god, exercise, healthy foods, etc. Because that brings you to the conclusion that this is your fault and it is so not. Most people still don't believe depression is an illness, a serious one if left unrecognized and untreated. You need people that understand what you're going through, even if they may not have gone through it themselves, and that it's something you truly can't help.

I suffered silently through most of my teenage years and only started looking into get treated at 19. The first year or so was the hardest, trying to find the right medication and dosage for me. But my future husband was my rock, he was patient when I got upset or frustrated and would sit by me and rub my back when I cried. I have several other friends around me that I know I can be completely honest with and not have to hide this part of me and that has made a world of difference.

You need to speak with your doctor about this and also mention your concerns about medicating while pregnant, a good doctor will listen and help you find the best route for you. But there are safe meds during pregnancy you just have to find what works best for you. And seek out a counselor, being able to talk to someone unbiased is great and can work wonders.

Do not let previous history with certain medications rule out all medication for you. Because taking care of yourself is the first step in taking care of your unborn child.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

^^ Very good advice. Careful not to slip into the mentality that the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. I have never taken medication and continue to suffer in silence, if you will, partly because I've just seen so many of my friends have drastic personality changes on meds, get addicted etc.

But if you are really hurting that much it's silly to rule out trying.

Cook3133 · September 2015

I can only offer what I went through but since I am not your doctor or therapist I can't say what you should do.

I have a mild case of anxiety that I control without medications. I did take some years ago (can't remember the name) and when I found out I was pregnant I stopped taking them. I to didn't want to chance anything with baby even though my midwife did say they were fine to take. But like I said mine was also a mild case. I can feel when it is coming on and have to take a step back and just breath for a minute. I also count on my husband for support, I seak out what makes me happiest. Now it's my kids, a kiss from them is better then any medicine I can take. But like I said this is my case, it's what works for me. It's all about telling myself it's ok I can over come this, I will do this for my kids. Also a hot bath every night helps me relax. But I have to see my warning signs early or I will have a few tougher days. It's very much about my own personal willpower to overcome this early on. I have also noticed a trend in myself with the change of seasons, even though I love fall and winter I tend to get down easier. I am also religious and find comfort in prayer, if your not religious meditations about the same thing it's worth a try.

I also believe there are many levels of anxiety and depression so what works for me may not work for you.

Also watch for the post pardon depression it doesn't always come right after baby is born, it could be a few months after. My husband always keeps an eye on me to watch for any signs to.

thegingeravenger · September 2015

@PetitNightingale, you are really giving some bad advice. To the point of I just can't be polite and just ignore it. The first poster didn't assume OP was religious and you originally did. If you're having suicidal thoughts 'praying them away' isn't the answer. Can it help for some people? Yes, absolutely. However anyone with common sense knows that you need to do more than just pray. Sometimes you need the meds and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's not a weakness to seek help, it's a strength. During pregnancy, especially since OP is already seeing a therapist, there's a chance that things will get amazingly better. Why? One of the best treatments for mental illness is the medication plus having a professional to speak to. Between having a psychologist to speak to regularly and frequent meetings with a midwife, she will be closely monitored. Probably more closely than needed honestly.

Getting addicted is a serious problem, I'll give you that one. It is something to be concerned about. The personality shifts though? Of course they may have a personality shift!

To be frank with everyone, I'm not on medication for depression nor was I medicated when I found out I was pregnant. I check myself emotion-wise weekly, my SO asks how my depression is weekly to bi-weekly, and we both report back to my OB. Since I will have a higher chance of PPD, my SO and OB will be keeping a very close eye on me at first. At the first sign of me spiralling into a serious depression, I will be medicated. This is what is working for me, but might not work for everyone.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

thegingeravenger said:

@PetitNightingale, you are really giving some bad advice. To the point of I just can't be polite and just ignore it. The first poster didn't assume OP was religious and you originally did. If you're having suicidal thoughts 'praying them away' isn't the answer. Can it help for some people? Yes, absolutely. However anyone with common sense knows that you need to do more than just pray. Sometimes you need the meds and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's not a weakness to seek help, it's a strength. During pregnancy, especially since OP is already seeing a therapist, there's a chance that things will get amazingly better. Why? One of the best treatments for mental illness is the medication plus having a professional to speak to. Between having a psychologist to speak to regularly and frequent meetings with a midwife, she will be closely monitored. Probably more closely than needed honestly.

Getting addicted is a serious problem, I'll give you that one. It is something to be concerned about. The personality shifts though? Of course they may have a personality shift!

To be frank with everyone, I'm not on medication for depression nor was I medicated when I found out I was pregnant. I check myself emotion-wise weekly, my SO asks how my depression is weekly to bi-weekly, and we both report back to my OB. Since I will have a higher chance of PPD, my SO and OB will be keeping a very close eye on me at first. At the first sign of me spiralling into a serious depression, I will be medicated. This is what is working for me, but might not work for everyone.

I didn't assume she was religious at all. I mentioned that's what *I* did, I did not suggest or recommend that she have anything to do with religion. I agree with you that you can't pray things away.

I'm sorry that you disagree with my advice which was mainly: get therapy. I never said it constituted weakness of any kind. I don't really disagree with anything that you wrote above. I do think OP should seek therapy. The medication I am less sold on but I also said she shouldn't rule it out.

thefithuntress · September 2015

PetitNightingale said:

thefithuntress said:
I agree with the previous posters about medication. Just because you can't see your imbalances and what's going on in your brain doesn't mean you don't have an illness. Talk to professionals and make sure you are medicated if necessary. Don't blame yourself and do everything you can to prepare for your little one. A great diet, exercise, and spoiling yourself every now and then will only help the cause.
I agree with this though honestly I think it's difficult to just accept the word of some person who can't offer you any empirical evidence and willingly swallow medication.

It can sometimes be a process. Usually the first step of that process is not medication---it's finding the root cause if there is one.

OP I advise you to see a therapist though I hate giving that advice, especially if you are like me and have tried a dozen times only to get null out of it. But try try try again. As to that, as soon to be mums, we don't have a choice in the matter. We don't have the luxury of giving up now.

Well, I definitely don't think "some person" can help. Hence why I said professionals, plural. I've struggled with my own issues of anxiety and depression. Talking to someone and "getting to the root of it" is great but some people just can't solve their problems through talking and that's ok. That's what medicine is for. It shouldn't be taboo. It's a branch of health.

And I'd rather turn to multiple health professionals and start a journey towards a solution than sit in a dark room alone and pray. But that's me.

HellsAngel22 · September 2015

Plusalso @PetitNightingale this is going to sound rough. But how can you give advice to someone about seeking help etc when you won't take your own advice?
Your telling someone that potentially has an illness that most days you feel to die. I'm not sure if OP wants to hear things like that.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

thefithuntress said:

I agree with the previous posters about medication. Just because you can't see your imbalances and what's going on in your brain doesn't mean you don't have an illness. Talk to professionals and make sure you are medicated if necessary. Don't blame yourself and do everything you can to prepare for your little one. A great diet, exercise, and spoiling yourself every now and then will only help the cause.
I agree with this though honestly I think it's difficult to just accept the word of some person who can't offer you any empirical evidence and willingly swallow medication. It can sometimes be a process. Usually the first step of that process is not medication---it's finding the root cause if there is one. OP I advise you to see a therapist though I hate giving that advice, especially if you are like me and have tried a dozen times only to get null out of it. But try try try again. As to that, as soon to be mums, we don't have a choice in the matter. We don't have the luxury of giving up now.
Well, I definitely don't think "some person" can help. Hence why I said professionals, plural. I've struggled with my own issues of anxiety and depression. Talking to someone and "getting to the root of it" is great but some people just can't solve their problems through talking and that's ok. That's what medicine is for. It shouldn't be taboo. It's a branch of health. And I'd rather turn to multiple health professionals and start a journey towards a solution than sit in a dark room alone and pray. But that's me.

I mention that I pray and all of a sudden everyone thinks I'm advocating tossing medicine to the wind and doing a rain dance for Jesus.

I agree it shouldn't be taboo. I was simply stating it can be hard to take to the leap of faith to start it because it can be pretty scary.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

HellsAngel22 said:

Plusalso @PetitNightingale this is going to sound rough. But how can you give advice to someone about seeking help etc when you won't take your own advice? Your telling someone that potentially has an illness that most days you feel to die. I'm not sure if OP wants to hear things like that.

I have a therapist so I'm trying to take my own advice.

I just wanted her to know she wasn't alone, I meant no harm by it. Personally it helps for me when people make me feel less crazy but I do apologize, OP, if you found that upsetting.

jscasher · September 2015

thefithuntress said:

PetitNightingale said:

thefithuntress said:
I agree with the previous posters about medication. Just because you can't see your imbalances and what's going on in your brain doesn't mean you don't have an illness. Talk to professionals and make sure you are medicated if necessary. Don't blame yourself and do everything you can to prepare for your little one. A great diet, exercise, and spoiling yourself every now and then will only help the cause.
I agree with this though honestly I think it's difficult to just accept the word of some person who can't offer you any empirical evidence and willingly swallow medication.

It can sometimes be a process. Usually the first step of that process is not medication---it's finding the root cause if there is one.

OP I advise you to see a therapist though I hate giving that advice, especially if you are like me and have tried a dozen times only to get null out of it. But try try try again. As to that, as soon to be mums, we don't have a choice in the matter. We don't have the luxury of giving up now.
Well, I definitely don't think "some person" can help. Hence why I said professionals, plural. I've struggled with my own issues of anxiety and depression. Talking to someone and "getting to the root of it" is great but some people just can't solve their problems through talking and that's ok. That's what medicine is for. It shouldn't be taboo. It's a branch of health.

And I'd rather turn to multiple health professionals and start a journey towards a solution than sit in a dark room alone and pray. But that's me.

I had a rough time getting help for my depression and anxiety because on paper everything in my life looked fine. I did a few therapy sessions. In the end, I just have a chemical imbalance in my brain, per my doctor. I saw four different doctors and tried to "fix" depression on my own before I ended up taking pills. And they helped tremendously. Because there was nothing to "work through" my brain just wasn't releasing enough feel good endorphins.

So yeah, I'm definitely team "get professional medical help" as opposed to waiting around for some miracle healing cure or whatever. Get help. No shame.

VexedMommy · September 2015

Sometimes the meds (very soon) before therapy help so that when you start therapy you are in a calm enough mental state that you can organize your thoughts, express yourself and you are able to gain something out of the therapy instead of being in a panic or so deeply depressed that you write off your first session as unhelpful and never return.

The most helpful form of treatment has been shown by multiple studies to be medication in conjunction with therapy. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I went off of my meds when I discovered I was pregnant and it has been incredibly difficult. I'm not 100% sure it was the best choice for myself and my family, you never can be. However if my symptoms worsened, I would absolutely go back on meds. I spent many years being told I just needed to suck it up and get over myself or that I needed to pray away being sad or stop being a control freak. These are not helpful things to hear or say.

HellsAngel22 · September 2015

PetitNightingale said:

HellsAngel22 said:

Plusalso @PetitNightingale this is going to sound rough. But how can you give advice to someone about seeking help etc when you won't take your own advice?
Your telling someone that potentially has an illness that most days you feel to die. I'm not sure if OP wants to hear things like that.

I have a therapist so I'm trying to take my own advice.

I just wanted her to know she wasn't alone, I meant no harm by it. Personally it helps for me when people make me feel less crazy but I do apologize, OP, if you found that upsetting.

I just think abit of sensitivity will go a long way. Especially when OP is trying to reach out.

Gapeach83 · September 2015

Depression can be cause a chemical imbalance. You can have the "prefect" life and suffer from depression. You are sad for absolutely no reason. A therapist can't help if you don't exactly have a reason. This is where medicine can and will help talk with your dr and see what medicine is best what works for Joe Bob might not work for Sally Sue. Sometimes you are depressed for reasons (death Of loved ones, money, work etc) these can be helped with just therapy but even then sometimes need medicine to help. I suffered from depression in my teens was on meds that helped. In my early 20s was able to come off them luckily. Do what's best for you and sometimes in meds and that is what's best for the child. You being depressed can hurt the child more than medication. Never be ashamed to take depression meds there is nothing wrong with it. Your doctor's will work with you because they understand your child comes first and apart of that is getting you physical and mentally healthy for them.

MercyC1130 · September 2015

So much good advice and thoughts here! I feel the underlying message being that you don't have to suffer and have the right to seek help in whatever way you feel comfortable and safe with. Don't let others make you feel differently!

Pontot31 · September 2015

PetitNightingale said:
^^ Very good advice. Careful not to slip into the mentality that the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. I have never taken medication and continue to suffer in silence, if you will, partly because I've just seen so many of my friends have drastic personality changes on meds, get addicted etc.

But if you are really hurting that much it's silly to rule out trying.

You. Need. To. Stop.
You are giving out horrible advice.
You do not know her situation and should not be telling her to avoid drugs.
Does she need them? None of us can tell! What we can tell is that she needs to go seek medical advice.

You yourself have posted too many crazy stories about all your medical "issues" for anyone to be taking advice from you.

OP- please do not listen to her. Talk to your doctor and let them guide you from there.

indulgentgypsy · September 2015

Dirty lurker addingy 2 cents. I suffered PPD with my second child child. I waited a YEAR to get help. My house was filthy, it looked like an episode of hoarders, I thought my family would be better off if I was dead, including my 2 beautiful sons. My primary care physician saw me for something unrelated and immediately prescribed antidepressants. She knew what I was going through wasn't normal and wasn't me.

OP, reaching out here is a good start. Talking to your midwife is a good start. Getting on meds NOW is a smart move. If I get pregnant again I will go on antidepressants again prior to giving birth. I am high risk for PPD and I know that being proactive will be best for me and my family.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

Pontot31 said:

^^ Very good advice. Careful not to slip into the mentality that the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. I have never taken medication and continue to suffer in silence, if you will, partly because I've just seen so many of my friends have drastic personality changes on meds, get addicted etc.

But if you are really hurting that much it's silly to rule out trying.
You. Need. To. Stop. You are giving out horrible advice. You do not know her situation and should not be telling her to avoid drugs. Does she need them? None of us can tell! What we can tell is that she needs to go seek medical advice. You yourself have posted too many crazy stories about all your medical "issues" for anyone to be taking advice from you. OP- please do not listen to her. Talk to your doctor and let them guide you from there.

I told her to talk to a doctor....honestly....I just said don't rule them out...

Ugh.

Pontot31 · September 2015

PetitNightingale said:

Pontot31 said:

PetitNightingale said:
^^ Very good advice. Careful not to slip into the mentality that the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. I have never taken medication and continue to suffer in silence, if you will, partly because I've just seen so many of my friends have drastic personality changes on meds, get addicted etc.

But if you are really hurting that much it's silly to rule out trying.
You. Need. To. Stop.
You are giving out horrible advice.
You do not know her situation and should not be telling her to avoid drugs.
Does she need them? None of us can tell! What we can tell is that she needs to go seek medical advice.

You yourself have posted too many crazy stories about all your medical "issues" for anyone to be taking advice from you.

OP- please do not listen to her. Talk to your doctor and let them guide you from there.

I told her to talk to a doctor....honestly....I just said don't rule them out...

Ugh.

Ugh is what I say when I see you give horrible advice over and over and share your never ending drama.
Honestly half of what you post can't be true. It just can't. And then you play the victim card any time someone disagrees with you. Even if you weren't the original poster! Is it really necessary to hijack every post and make it about you?

kbonel · September 2015

eamarat said:
@thegingeravenger has nailed it on the head.

A lot of us have been through issues of anxiety and depression, it's real and difficult to handle by yourself, and it's not always possible to take it a day at a time.

You need a good support system, the worst thing in the world is to have your mother (or brother, or cousin, or friend) tell you it's just a lack of: god, exercise, healthy foods, etc. Because that brings you to the conclusion that this is your fault and it is so not. Most people still don't believe depression is an illness, a serious one if left unrecognized and untreated. You need people that understand what you're going through, even if they may not have gone through it themselves, and that it's something you truly can't help.

I suffered silently through most of my teenage years and only started looking into get treated at 19. The first year or so was the hardest, trying to find the right medication and dosage for me. But my future husband was my rock, he was patient when I got upset or frustrated and would sit by me and rub my back when I cried. I have several other friends around me that I know I can be completely honest with and not have to hide this part of me and that has made a world of difference.

You need to speak with your doctor about this and also mention your concerns about medicating while pregnant, a good doctor will listen and help you find the best route for you. But there are safe meds during pregnancy you just have to find what works best for you. And seek out a counselor, being able to talk to someone unbiased is great and can work wonders.

Do not let previous history with certain medications rule out all medication for you. Because taking care of yourself is the first step in taking care of your unborn child.

This. Is so spot on. It's not your fault and you deserve to be happy. We all do. Emotional security is a basic need, they actually have specialist that can prescribe the right medication. And I am sure there is something out there that is safe and effective. You have to do what you need to to feel whole again, especially for your kiddo.

Edit: therapy is a great idea but medication is also a great idea if a Dr thinks it's necessary. Just like pregnancy hormones, women's hormones (and men's) can get out of whack. Chemical imbalance is a very real thing. You can do this, get yourself to a Dr.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

I wasn't trying to do that, I was just trying to help! Jesus on a cracker.

I'm done. OP, good luck.

jscasher · September 2015

You may have to try different drugs too to find which one works best for you. Everyone reacts differently to medication. I was put on effexor (venlafaxine is generic name) and I had zero personality changes. Coming OFF of them can be difficult, and missing a dose has some not so fun side effects, but I was able to taper off over the course of 4 weeks in the early 2nd trimester fairly easily. Don't ever quit cold turkey! Slow and steady is best.

I was put on a low dose of 75mg and it worked wonders. It doesn't have to be as scary as everyone makes it sound. And googling the drug will only pull up horror stories, so be careful of that too. I was terrified when I made the decision to come off of effexor from all the stories I'd read and how I'd feel missing a dose, but by simply cutting off millimeters of a pill a day over a few weeks, it was nowhere near as bad as I thought.

Just wanted to throw more 2 cents into the pot and hopefully put your mind at ease, since you've got some conflicting advice coming your way. Big pharma CAN actually help, I promise.

Squirtgun · September 2015

First off: most of the advice on here is spot on! The only thing I want to add-- it sound like from your original post that you're only wanting to avoid medication because 1. You're afraid of side effects for baby and 2. You've had medications that didn't work so well in the past.

As long as your OB is in the loop on the prescription, I wouldn't worry about effects on baby. There are medications which are fine to take during pregnancy, and your OB can confirm that they are fine for you to take.

As for medication not working in the past-- there are many options out there! I'll preface this by saying that I personally have not had any anxiety or depression issues, but my sisters, husband, and close friend all have. Each person actually had to go through a few different medications and dosages to figure out what works for them. If you don't feel right when taking a certain medication, be sure to talk to your doctor, and they should be able to adjust it or change it to the proper balance.

semulcahy · September 2015

I really appreciate all of your love and support. Knowing I'm not alone has definitely made it easier to think more clearly about what is best for us. Thank you, everyone.

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