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August 2015 Moms
jrwall09
member
DH rant
jrwall09
member
DH works evenings, 2-10 pm. He usually gets up with DS ( who is 2yo) at 7:30 or 8am. I usually stay in bed with DD for another 30 min or hour because she usually wants to have a nursing marathon in the morning when she hears all the commotion. When she is done nursing, I get up, change her and pump. I also sleep with DD and wake up every time she needs to nurse. We've had some latching problems, so sleeping while she nurses isn't really an option right now. The past few nights, she would fall asleep then wake herself up because she pooped. We're talking multiple times in the night. So I've been up almost all night for the past few nights getting very little sleep. I never ask DH to get up with her or change her or anything. This morning he wanted me to get up when DS got up. So I did. When DH woke up 3 hours later, I told him I didn't mind getting up with DS if he could take over a diaper change or two at night with DD. He told me that he needed more sleep than me because he has to work and I can just "sleep all day" if I want to. I told him there was absolutely no way I could sleep all day, even if I wanted to, because we have a 2yo and a 3 week old that need to be taken care of. He told me I don't do anything all day so he doesn't feel bad that I don't get sleep. I told him I am nursing his daughter on demand and she is very demanding all while taking care of a toddler and trying to keep up with laundry and meals. He told me I don't even clean even though I just cleaned the house yesterday.
So I basically just learned that my husband, who I thought respected me, only thinks of me as a lazy piece of sh** who does nothing but sit around all day. Nevermind that I worked 40 hours a week right up until my due date at a very demanding job and I am only off for a short while for maternity leave. Not only that, but I'll be getting another job soon that pays more but is not something that I even want to do just so we won't have to live on such a tight budget. Nope, I'm just a worthless waste of space. I have been a total wreck all day and I just read the post with all the caring husbands who take care of their wives and I am so jealous
So I basically just learned that my husband, who I thought respected me, only thinks of me as a lazy piece of sh** who does nothing but sit around all day. Nevermind that I worked 40 hours a week right up until my due date at a very demanding job and I am only off for a short while for maternity leave. Not only that, but I'll be getting another job soon that pays more but is not something that I even want to do just so we won't have to live on such a tight budget. Nope, I'm just a worthless waste of space. I have been a total wreck all day and I just read the post with all the caring husbands who take care of their wives and I am so jealous
Re: DH rant
I am NOT justifying him in anyway, but my DH says some pretty stupid $hit when he isn't getting enough sleep or is really stressed at work. Hopefully that is the case here and will realize the error in his ways and apologize (with wine and/or chocolate if he know what's good for him
If he does not realize how stupid he's been, I highly recommend showing him what would happen if you were as "lazy" as he thinks and just don't do all those things for a day or 2. It's funny how much their opinions change once they are left to handle the things we do.
OP sorry your husband is being such a deuche right now. I would stop making meals and tell him you needed to sleep since he thinks that's all you do anyway.
On a more helpful note, could he be jealous that you get to stay home right now and he doesn't? I know my DH acted this way when he was jealous for this reason. Good luck and I hope he realizes it's hard work to take care of two kids!
I'm really sorry your h is being stupid right now. Hopefully you can talk to him and help him understand better. Like others have said, props for not killing him.
Sure I feel like my DH is a Dbag when he says it. and it makes me feel like shit when he does, but once we have time to decompress, he apologizes.
I still take it to heart each time he does say things like that because I DO bust my butt around this house, but our DD has other plans for when I clean "you clean, I destroy!" And I give up trying to make it pretty by the time DH arrives home usually. So I do get where he can think I haven't done anything all day. Even if it's hard, try yo realize he probably didn't mean what he said, even if it's a crappy thing to say what he did. This stage will pass soon and you both will forget all the tough, exhausted, fights you have soon
Ps. Even if men don't get up with baby, my husband informed me he still wakes up when I get up. Then gets up at the Buttcrack of dawn for work
That said, I'm not sure I'd let tiredness excuse those comments unless the OP's husband independently realizes what a douche he was being and grovels HARD, which it does not sound like he's done. Sure, we all say things we don't mean sometimes, but if we know we didn't mean them we apologize!!
My husband sleeps through it completely. He decided to keep LO for a night so I could rest on the other side of the house. I woke up to my newborn's blood curdling scream. I get there and DH is sound asleep. He doesn't wake up. He did roll over once, asked if he could help, and started snoring in the same breath. He doesn't recall that though.
But if my husband talked to me like that, he wouldn't be sleeping in our room anyways. Disrespt like that impacts the entire family. I would need a major apology and for him to apologize to DS for acting that way towards the person who takes care of them and that they love. He needs to realize he is setting the example for how to treat people.
Hope he has already apologized, though, and he doesn't get sentenced to the couch!