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Baby Shower Invitee Etiquette

rbourassa99rbourassa99 member
edited September 2015 in January 2016 Moms
(Sorry if this is a repeat, I couldn't find anything in the thread)

Most my family (and lots of friends) live far away from us. We are in Maryland and most are in Cali. What is the etiquette for inviting them to the baby shower? Do I invite them fully knowing they can't attend? What did everyone else do?
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Re: Baby Shower Invitee Etiquette

  • RachelM82RachelM82 member
    I'm not sure what's considered proper, but I'm in Pennsylvania and my grandma is in NC, along with my Aunt and cousins. We also have some family who, when the shower happens, will be snowbirding it in Florida. We plan on sending them an invite, even though we're sure they won't come. It only seems fair to me. But they are family, so there might be different "rules" for friends.
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  • jem8407jem8407 member
    edited September 2015
    I am in a similar boat. Most of my long distance friends have expressed that even though they can't make it, they want an invite and to see the registry link.

    I am curious about male friends (surprisingly I have many) who want the registry link since they won't be at the shower. It feels strange to send just that, ya know?
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  • neonpotatoesneonpotatoes member
    I plan on sending to out of state family and friends even though they won't be attending, just so no one feels left out or like i didnt want them there
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  • AchaeAchae member
    I still send invites. Nobody is ever offended at being invited :)
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  • cawalpcawalp member
    I sent my invites without a registry link because we live so far away and will be in our hometown for the shower then flying back home. I didn't want a ton of onesies or blankets or whatever else people want to get to take on the plane so I didn't include the registry so people don't feel obligated to get a gift. I did send them to out of town/state family and friends because even though I know they won't make it I think it's nice to be invited and be included in life events in any way possible.
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  • willashbabywillashbaby member
    I messaged my long distance relatives and asked them if they would like shower invites in case they would be able to make it or if they would just like one as a keepsake. Some said not to bother but asked for registry info and others asked for an invite even though they wouldn't be able to attend. Some are going to come, you never know!
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  • CaraBoonieCaraBoonie member
    We're sending courtesy invites, I think it's nice to say "thinking of you and wish you were here"

    @jem8407 We're just doing co-ed, it seems outdated to not invite some of our favorite people just because they happen to have penises, lol

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • JandJ62914JandJ62914 member
    Yeah, I've been trying to figure this out too.  I've decided that I'm okay with sending it to family, because they are still family and I want them to know they're included, even if they can't make it. What I'm still struggling with is that my MIL has two friends she hasn't seen in years and rarely speaks to that live several hours away in NY and Florida. (We're in NJ.)  She had us invite them to my bridal shower and our wedding, and they didn't come to either because of the distance.  Now she wants to invite them to my baby shower, and I feel like it's going to look gift grabby.  If they didn't come to our wedding events then they aren't going to come to my baby shower.  I don't think they even know I'm pregnant because she doesn't talk to them!

    I don't see anything wrong with inviting friends that live out of state if they're people that you're in touch with and close with despite the distance though.  Who knows, maybe they will travel to attend!
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  • UptownPearlUptownPearl member
    I'm sending invites to out of state family that I have a relationship with. I know they can't attend and the invitation is a curtesty
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  • jem8407jem8407 member
    @CaraBoonie I am sure that will be super fun! I have been to some great mixed showers! I would invite other dudes but my husband is not really into the co-ed shower and he won't be there haha
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  • mamakculbmamakculb member
    I sent invites and sent some maternity photos of me and hubby with them. I have heard more people complain of not being invited then being invited when it was known they couldn't come. 



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  • BlueyedskyBlueyedsky member
    jem8407 said:

    @CaraBoonie I am sure that will be super fun! I have been to some great mixed showers! I would invite other dudes but my husband is not really into the co-ed shower and he won't be there haha

    Maybe you could do another event, like out to dinner or something with coed friends? I know a lot of people say sip and see after baby is born, but I don't love that idea for January.
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  • rbourassa99rbourassa99 member
    @jem8407 We're doing a co-ed "Baby Celebration" instead of the traditional baby shower. Showers have never been my thing, but I love parties with all of my favorite people, so that's what we're doing :)

    All - Thanks for the advice on invitees! I think everyone is right, people are rarely offended by being invited, but happy to be included. Now that I think about it, I've been invited to several showers they knew I couldn't attend and I was happy just to receive them.
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