Baby Showers

Sex Reveal Party

satuttle1014satuttle1014 member
edited August 2015 in Baby Showers
So I have this friend who is like I have to have a gender/sex reveal party. At first I wanted one but I think they are cute. I have my 20 week appointment all set where I will find out the sex, however now the appointment is on a Tuesday morning and the weekend of that week I will be gone with my husband attending a family wedding. Also we are dying to know and will want to tell everyone right away. I told my friend this and she is like let's do it during the week and I'm like wait, what? I don't think that it will work, trying to gather people and plus my husband doesn't get off work until 6pm and then gets home around 6:45pm, we like to hang out at home during the week and relax. 

We can have it at a restaurant but it just seems so difficult and then it is an another expense to pay for food, decorations ,etc. She says she will plan even though I don't need help with that since I'm a planner but I don't want to have to pay a lot and I'm sure she would offer to help pay which I would not let her do either. 

Is it rude of me to put my foot down and say No? I know she is excited, I'm one of the first of our friends to have a baby but now that my appointment is during the week and taking place a week later than I thought, it just seems more complicated and just too much. I don't know if I even want it anymore. 
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Re: Sex Reveal Party

  • Yea she wants us to be surprised too but I don't want to wait and it's not like people won't be surprised either way, I had an idea instead of doing a photo to reveal the sex instead of dishing out more money than I need to. I just want to eliminate being stresses even if she says she will do everything, I think it will be more trouble than it's worth type thing but I feel bad since I know she is excited but my DH and I want to know right at our appointment. 
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  • The only sex reveal party I went to, the parents already knew what they were having. It was a silly waste of my time. I wanted to see her reaction. I couldn't care less about her baby's genitalia. If you're going to find out, just do the photo shoot and post it on facebook or whatever.

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  • I would just have a hard time waiting until a party to find out because we want to know right then! I'm impatient. 
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  • I would just have a hard time waiting until a party to find out because we want to know right then! I'm impatient. 
    Seriously, then. Don't torture yourself. Just find out and post something online. People really, truly only want to see your reaction.

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  • I would just have a hard time waiting until a party to find out because we want to know right then! I'm impatient. 
    Seriously, then. Don't torture yourself. Just find out and post something online. People really, truly only want to see your reaction.


    I want to know the sex and others want to see my reaction lol I think she just doesn't get that I want to know the sex more than what my reaction is. I'm going to be excited no matter what. I will have to tell her in a way that won't totally crush her excitement that I would rather at this point just do a photo. I already have 2 photo ideas, I just have to see which one looks better. 
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    YYou don't "need" this party. Realize that first. Second, while I do enjoy finding out if my friends are having a boy or a girl, I REALLY don't need to take hours out of my life to attend a party to find out this information. A cute announcement on FB is great, or a phone call, or... what have you. But seriously- this DOES NOT require a party and $$$ to announce. It just doesn't.
  • I agree with everyone. At first I was like it would be fun but now I'm just like I just want to know and not wait any longer than I have to. As all of you have said and I realize it is not necessary, it is more money and who really cares to attend a party but maybe parents and grandparents? lol I At my 12 week I was like I will do a photo because 1. I don't need a party 2. my pregnancy announcement photo did the job and everyone thought it was cute. I have 2 ideas for a gender announcement, just have to make them :) I also told my friend last night how I was feeling about and she finally understood where I was coming from and that I just am not feeling it anymore and I was never asked if I actually wanted one, I got the "you should do a gender reveal" type thing. Thank you all for the advice :) 
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  • It sounds like you don't actually want a sex reveal party.

    Great!  Good for you!  Most people think they're tacky.  You don't have to have one just because your friend insists you should.  It's your baby, your information to find out, and your announcement to make.  Find out in the way you want and share the information in a way that makes you comfortable.

    You know how most sane, rational adults handle this?  They find out the sex of the baby, and they let others know next time they see the other person.  If there's someone who will want to know right away (parents, best friend of MTB) they call that person on the way home from the u/s appointment and just tell them.  

    For people who really want to know, just hearing the news straight from the MTB's mouth is exciting.  There doesn't need to be a party thrown for this info.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

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  • We didn't do a gender reveal party or anything, but we got an ultrasound done at a 4D ultrasound place that allowed guests to attend.  We basically invited our parents to sit in for the ultrasound so we all found out the gender together.  Afterwards I made an announcement to Facebook.  We didn't really make a huge deal out of any of it, but the future grandparents were really happy to sit in on the ultrasound.
  • We didn't do a gender reveal party or anything, but we got an ultrasound done at a 4D ultrasound place that allowed guests to attend.  We basically invited our parents to sit in for the ultrasound so we all found out the gender together.  Afterwards I made an announcement to Facebook.  We didn't really make a huge deal out of any of it, but the future grandparents were really happy to sit in on the ultrasound.

    Sadly my parents don't live in the same state as me but I figured have my husband, too much to be asking so many people to come, I would rather just announce in a photo like I did for our pregnancy. It went over well. Everyone keeps asking me if I will have a party and I just want to know right there since I'm already waiting forever! :) It will still be exciting even without a party, some have still get it through their minds a little. 
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  • I posted a picture on FB of the baby's face that said "I'm a boy". Saved time and money. Lol. I did throw a reveal for my brother and SIL. It was my parents' first grandchild with whom they were present through pregnancy, as both my of older nephews came to us through marriage. So, it was a special event and very sweet to see the reaction and excitement from my family. It was a small gathering with no games or registry. We basically just ate pizza in a park shelter house and watched my brother help my nephew cut open a cupcake to find pink icing. Nothing glamorous. But if you don't want one, then don't have one. Especially if you plan to find out for yourself and then have everyone be surprised at the party. Don't feel obligated to do something like that.
  • sarahgn said:
    I posted a picture on FB of the baby's face that said "I'm a boy". Saved time and money. Lol. I did throw a reveal for my brother and SIL. It was my parents' first grandchild with whom they were present through pregnancy, as both my of older nephews came to us through marriage. So, it was a special event and very sweet to see the reaction and excitement from my family. It was a small gathering with no games or registry. We basically just ate pizza in a park shelter house and watched my brother help my nephew cut open a cupcake to find pink icing. Nothing glamorous. But if you don't want one, then don't have one. Especially if you plan to find out for yourself and then have everyone be surprised at the party. Don't feel obligated to do something like that.

    Thanks. Everyone keeps bringing it up to me but I'm just dying to know. I already made the photos 1 for boy and 1 for a girl and just send out the photo for whichever it is (I like to get things done way ahead).  I think friends want me to do one more than I do. I thought about having one way at the beginning but now a photo will do the trick and it definitely saves money. 
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  • If your friends want to do something for you, it doesn't have to be a reveal. They could do a shower just as easy and you wouldn't be left with not finding out what your baby is. You're the mother you have the right to find out for yourself at the ultrasound. Elaborate reveals are a little overdone, anyway ;)
  • I think that sex reveals are annoying (unless I am close with the person and they aren't doing something over the top). If it isn't working out for your schedule and such, just politely decline and stay with your decision. 

    A friend of mine did a sex reveal that I thought wasn't that big of a deal, but still nice. She just had her husbands family (which is small), her family (which is small), and two friends over for spaghetti dinner and then they just announced what the baby was. It was the first grandkid for both sides, so she wanted to see their reactions in person....but didn't want to be all crazy like some of those sex reveal parties you see nowadays. There was no elaborate cake or anything, no invites, no decorations. Just a small spaghetti dinner with some chocolate chip cookies for dessert, stating "We found out today it is a boy!", passing around the latest ultrasound pictures, and thats about it. 

    I think that you are right, that your friend seem to be wanting the sex reveal party more than you want it. 
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  • If you don't want it, put your foot down. But, I don't get people who so passionately hate them. If you don't want to go to one, decline. I'm having one this weekend. I invited my immediate family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, first cousins) and two best friends. I didn't invite my other friends because I figured they wouldn't care as much and didn't want to feed 50 people when I already have 25 in my family alone. But all my family and friends have been dying to know the sex. They make guesses every time they see me and keep telling me they can't wait til the party to find out. Even the ones I didn't think cared, keep bringing it up. I think it's nice to reveal it in a fun way. I got a cake from the cake boss and am half cooking / half catering dinner, got some cute decorations from etsy, etc.

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  • suteki325suteki325 member
    edited September 2015
    We're just having a dinner with parents/siblings/grandparents and cutting open a cupcake that will either have blue or pink in the middle (my friend is baking them, so the sex will be a surprise to my husband and I as well). I think having a big party with friends and extended family is a bit over-the-top. But something smaller and more intimate might be more your style.
  • I dont think these parties are dumb, but I've only been to one. My cousin had one, they already knew the sex but it was a surprise for the rest of us. It was just close family: the grandparents, aunts and uncles and some cousins.she had some refreshments and they asked us all to either wear pink or blue depending on our guesses. It wasn't a very long party. They announced, we ate some snacks and chatted, then everyone went home.

    I've been thinking about having one. At first I wanted to have just my parents and brother over and cut into a cake or something. But my aunts and cousins have asked if I'll do a reveal party, and I think it could be fun. So I think I'll throw a party and serve fun goodies and do a cute annuncemnet, either with cake or maybe balloons. My whole family doesn't get together as often as we would like, so it would be just another excuse to get us all together to visit. I certainly have never thought of any party my family members have thrown as a waste of my time, especially if they have gone to the effort of serving food and drinks. But I assume the idea of reveal parties its different in different social circles.

    And if you don't want to do a party OP, you shouldn't feel guilted or pressured into it! Do what makes you happy! :)
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