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August 2015 Moms
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DH is gone and family has just announced they are arriving...

nakoppelnakoppel member
edited September 2015 in August 2015 Moms
So my DH had to leave for the weekend for some training for his second job. My family is getting ready to leave after a two week visit but my mom is staying a few extra days so I'm not alone with LO while DH is away. Well my MIL and BIL (who is a felon btw yay -_-) were suppose to come visit next weekend. Well my MIl simply announced to DH (and then to me) she will be arriving between today and tomorrow. DH doesn't understand why this stresses me out. There is no changing mil's plans because she already took the time off work. Without getting into the weeds about it my MIL means well but she doesn't have normal social graces so she can be quite offensive and annoying. Her and my DH have an odd relationship because she only came into his life when he was 17. I'm just so angry and feeling so unprepared. My family I don't have to entertain and they are super helpful (super annoying but helpful). I have NO IDEA how dh's fam will be. I'm so upset and angry. Now my mom wants to leave today since my in-laws will be here....I Don't know what to do
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Re: DH is gone and family has just announced they are arriving...

  • ChanelLovesBChanelLovesB member
    Welp tell her that won't work. I've gotten a lot better at being direct with ppl after DS was born. Ppl can be too much. I'd tell them your visit next week will work much better and we would love to see you then. This weekend will NOT work.

    Ppl are bold as hell. It only works to be bold back I've learned. Bold but respectful
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  • marievamarieva member
    nakoppel said:
    So my DH had to leave for the weekend for some training for his second job. My family is getting ready to leave after a two week visit but my mom is staying a few extra days so I'm not alone with LO while DH is away. Well my MIL and BIL (who is a felon btw yay -_-) were suppose to come visit next weekend. Well my MIl simply announced to DH (and then to me) she will be arriving between today and tomorrow.
    I had this same scenario play out last week while my husband was gone.  Here's a lesson for that ordeal--stick to your guns.  Also after that I told my hubby I want to start limiting visitors seriously.  Tired of playing the entertainer while juggling my baby. If you don't want them to come tell them so.  Like someone else mentioned I too have been very direct now--you gotta be because people will try to do anything they think is right with your baby -_-.  Anyways, Good luck :) 
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    She already took the time off work so no telling her no...
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    She's like already on her way she and BIL are driving here (NC) from michigan. I'm also more mad at DH because he pretty much just passed the issue off to me instead of dealing with it.
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  • ChanelLovesBChanelLovesB member
    @nakoppel they shud turn around
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    Idk why I just can't bring myself to just say flat out no. I know because I can't tell her no I'm kinda bringing it on myself but it will be such s huge drams if I just tell flat out tell her no
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    JNOVA2015 said:
    If you feel like you can't tell her no, can you at least tell them they should stay in a hotel until your mom leaves? Just say "we already have houseguests this weekend because we weren't expecting you until next weekend, so we can't accommodate you overnight until they leave." It will at least take off some of the pressure of houseguests while making the point to them that they need to clear future visits in advance.

    My mom isn't staying with us and I know they can't afford a hotel. Otherwise I would say stay some where else. I have a three bedroom house one of those rooms is my BIL who lives with us, and then obviously our room. So my babies nursery is having to be a guest room :-/
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  • cseley321cseley321 member
    IMO there isn't much you can do at this point without causing problems. If you say no, it will probably cause a huge problem between your husband, his mother, and you. I would just go with it but after they leave I would have a serious chat with my husband for putting me in that position.

    I wouldn't tell them no or to turn around. Even though it sucks, they are still his family... keep an eye out on the BIL too.
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  • JNOVA2015JNOVA2015 member
    nakoppel said:


    JNOVA2015 said:

    If you feel like you can't tell her no, can you at least tell them they should stay in a hotel until your mom leaves? Just say "we already have houseguests this weekend because we weren't expecting you until next weekend, so we can't accommodate you overnight until they leave." It will at least take off some of the pressure of houseguests while making the point to them that they need to clear future visits in advance.



    My mom isn't staying with us and I know they can't afford a hotel. Otherwise I would say stay some where else. I have a three bedroom house one of those rooms is my BIL who lives with us, and then obviously our room. So my babies nursery is having to be a guest room :-/

    That's too bad. If it were me, I'd probably pay for the hotel myself just to have them not in the house! But I don't know if your finances can accommodate that.
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    Crystal321 said:
    IMO there isn't much you can do at this point without causing problems. If you say no, it will probably cause a huge problem between your husband, his mother, and you. I would just go with it but after they leave I would have a serious chat with my husband for putting me in that position. I wouldn't tell them no or to turn around. Even though it sucks, they are still his family... keep an eye out on the BIL too.

    ^ this @Petunia21 I'm not trying to box myself in or be difficult. It's just at this point there's not much I can do without causing problems. Also I'm sorry if my complaining bugs you, I just feel it's a more precarious situation. I believe in setting boundries but if the communication had been better that would be easier to do. I just feel as though at this point straight up saying no turn around will just cause more problems than it solves. I'm more mad at DH for kind of passing the buck to me when it's his family. I let him know I was very upset and I do plan to have a long talk with him when he gets back.
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  • nakoppelnakoppel member
    JNOVA2015 said:
    JNOVA2015 said:
    If you feel like you can't tell her no, can you at least tell them they should stay in a hotel until your mom leaves? Just say "we already have houseguests this weekend because we weren't expecting you until next weekend, so we can't accommodate you overnight until they leave." It will at least take off some of the pressure of houseguests while making the point to them that they need to clear future visits in advance.

    My mom isn't staying with us and I know they can't afford a hotel. Otherwise I would say stay some where else. I have a three bedroom house one of those rooms is my BIL who lives with us, and then obviously our room. So my babies nursery is having to be a guest room :-/
    That's too bad. If it were me, I'd probably pay for the hotel myself just to have them not in the house! But I don't know if your finances can accommodate that.

    If I coukd do that I would!!!!! But we can't swing it. If they weren't stsying with us I think I would be more okay with it.
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