May 2015 Moms

does anyone still feel like this??

I am just about at my wits end with this kid. I feel like at almost 4 months it should be getting easier, he should sleep more and his eating patterns should be consistent. I feel like I still have a newborn and I'm drowning. He wakes up every 2 hours at night no matter what. He's been wanting to eat every 2 hours ( I think, I just end up feeding him because he won't stop crying). I get one good hour if happiness in the morning where he wants to play then one good nap and its all down hill from there. I spend the rest of the day trying to get him to sleep or trying to figure out what he wants.

I should get off this board because reading about 12 hour stretches of sleep from others makes me miserable and feel like I'm completely failing. Does anyone still feel like this at all or are you all really sunshine and rainbows at this point??

Re: does anyone still feel like this??

  • I'm not getting much sunshine and rainbows except in the mornings. It takes me 60-90 minutes to get LO down for the night (usually finally by 8:30-9pm). During this time he screams bloody murder for about 5-10 minutes. Like I don't think it's possible for him to cry any harder. He's not napping well during the day with his caregivers (usually averages 2 hours instead of 4). He wakes up 2-4 times a night (usually 4 times at this point) and because he's so tired he fights it and I have trouble getting him back down for the night (another 20-60 minutes depending on how long he feeds). He eats pretty randomly still and likes to snack so I'll feed him maybe 2oz and then he won't want anything for 2 hours even though I will keep offering. It seems like the minute I stop offering, he decides that he is absolutely starving and can't be consoled. If I try to feed him at that point he refuses and still screams. Once I settle him down, he will eat. He is usually beyond grumpy by the time we get home from work so for the 2 hours after that we spent appeasing his every need and it's a constant battle of keeping him amused while he starts crying. We get lots of confusing laugh-cries.

    You are not alone!! I hope these mamas with their 12 hour straight sleeping babies know how lucky they are!!
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  • Sorry but I was laughing while reading that! This sucks so bad and I'm so exhausted I'm.glad you are too!
  • My baby was the same and it has slowly improved over the last 3 weeks, some days better than others. Hang in there! Ur doing great!
  • I still feel all over the place. Even although my baby has slept through the night since about 9 weeks she does cry ALOT especially in the evenings it has been getting better but still the odd episode. I've read all over the Internet for solutions. I tend to follow a pattern of wake, eat, play, nap throughout the day. I try to stay one step a ahead by having everything prepared, making up a feed when I know she is waking from sleep etc to avoid the crazy meltdown crying. When we are playing I look for sleepy signs I.e yawn, rubbing eyes, becoming irritable, staring into space and this is the point where I put her down for nap. If she's awake more than 2 hours I know there trouble a head. Just try enjoy the good moments as they grow so fast! I wish I'd enjoyed her first days & weeks more. She is 17 weeks & ive cried a lot
  • My sunshine and rainbows baby is starting to teeth, so he cries and fusses and needs to be chewing on something, his favorite thing being my finger, or my nipple. It is an incredible workout to keep him engaged so that he does not focus on the discomfort. I wear workout clothing now, because moving around is what he likes best. I am exhausted at the end of the day, but I look really fit! This too shall pass, and as a STM I can tell you that if it's not one thing it's another. That is why mothers are very intelligent, very organized, great managers, and all-around awesome people!
  • May be you don't to hear this, but It will get better. My first did NOT sleep at nigth( waking up 3-5 times at nigth) until he was 11 months. But. I'm blessed this time with a very good sleeper but I'm the one having trouble to fall sleep. It gets easier, you are doing a good job mama!
  • annie10annie10 member
    edited September 2015
    I felt like this with my first, too. He was a horrible sleeper. No 12 hr stretches ever and he's 5 now! This is my 3rd and I'm up 2x night with him and I think that's great! Ignore what other babies do. And I believe people can embellish on the internet. Hang in there! Its tough. Do you have a support system? That's important. Do you have mommy friends going through the same thing? Look into Le Leche or another breastfeeding support group, MOPS, MOMS or a new moms group through your hospital. Some places have night groups if you're working. You're not alone. Parenting is hard and not always fun. 
  • This thread makes me so sad for you ladies, I wish I had some advice or words of encouragement. Eventually - hopefully REAL soon - you'll look back on all this and laugh. Maybe you'll be blessed with an amazing toddlers and the rest of us with sunshine and rainbow babies will be pulling out our hair cause they are little demons.

    This definitely makes me appreciate my little man a little bit more
  • MmCh said:
    Ignore what other babies do. And I believe people can embellish on the internet. 

    Eeexx-acttly.
  • Coming from someone whose baby sleeps 10-12 hours a night, there is nothing you are doing wrong and there is nothing I'm doing right. My baby just sleeps. I've never done anything to "help" her sleep. She just does her own thing. Your baby is the same. He/she just sleeps with less longer stretches. He/she is just doing his/her own thing.

    Try not to compare yourself to others. Your baby is perfect just the way he/she is. :)
  • My LO only recently started being more happy/ settled in the day, I used to also spend all day just trying to stop him from crying, it's sooooo exhausting! He will be 4mnths on Tues. He still wakes up 4-5 times a night, been that way since birth.. Im really praying he will start waking less at night as I feel like a zombie all day... I know it will get better one day but for now it feels really rough and time sometimes drags... But we must hang in there... Better times to come xxx
  • MmCh said:
    Ignore what other babies do. And I believe people can embellish on the internet. 

    Eeexx-acttly.

    I just said this to my pregnant friend over the weekend.  Everyone uses formula, no baby sleeps at night and every baby sleeps in a swing.  Everyone who says otherwise is lying.  OK maybe not ALL of them...but I definitely agree there is some embellishing going on.  Thanks for making me feel better!!
  • Are you breastfeeding?? My baby was the same way for the first 11 weeks and I was at my end of the rope!! One of my momma friends, and my doctor told me to try giving up dairy and caffeine. Within 5 days I saw improvements, and within a week and a half I had a new baby!!!! He is 17 weeks now and every single day is better than the day before- I actually enjoy being a mom now, before I was mortified, tired, stressed, and felt like a complete failure that had a child no one would watch bc he screamed and cried so much!!! He just had an 8 hour stretch last night for the first time and it was amazing! He is now laughing, smiling, and seems like he feels a heck of a lot better. It's worth a try to see if maybe your babe is allergic or intelligent to dairy or something else!! From a momma who understands, try to have a short memory for the hard stuff and remember the good moments!! Your the best momma for your baby!
  • I was talking recently with a few people that have babies much older than ours (between 6 and 12 months) and they were saying how this stage was the hardest for sleep deprivation: you expect to be up all night with a newborn but after a while you hope for more sleep. Right around this time patience wanes and the lack of sleep seems to have no end in sight.
    They told me it gets better. Which helps for a bit and then it's hard again
  • Sorry mama :/ STM here and I do feel like my baby doesn't sleep enough, but I can usually manage to keep baby from crying during her waking hours by having 0 me time and hardly any time for my tot. Imo it all gets easy once baby's crawling. Then baby can entertain its self for some time. I went though a rough patch where my baby wasn't sleeping much and cried a lot...but that seems over at 19w. Hang in there and take some time for yourself. 
  • With my first, I felt like things got way better once he figured out the napping thing. He started taking longer naps instead of those 40 minute catnaps, and at generally the same time every day.  Then I got a longer break while he was sleeping, and a longer break between feedings since we always did eat, play, sleep.  This started around 4 months, but I honestly did nothing to encourage it, he just figured it out on his own one day.  DD is 4 months old now, and we are not there yet, but I know it can take up to 6 months for them to regulate their naps.

    The first few months with a baby are SO HARD, especially your first, because it can be hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm much more relaxed the second time around because I know that it's going to get better.

    I'm sorry that things suck right now, but please know that it's normal.  Up every two hours at night seems a little extreme at this age, but all babies are different.  Maybe some gentle sleep training would help?
  • We do let him whine when he wakes up, we only go to him if its a full on cry. I don't have the nerves to let him cry. Also, if it's not been 3 hours since he last ate my husband goes to him instead of me in hopes that after a few times he'll realize he's not getting fed so he doesn't need to wake up. Last night we only had to do that once at 2am, he ate at 12am and then 5am so I feel like we're making SOME strides. But, he's sleeping in his swing. Its the only place he goes more than 2 hours. Oh well. Quantity is more important than location to me at this point!

    Thanks everyone!!!
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