Scared of labor, anyone else going natural?

kmadison70 · September 2015

33weeks and I get up at night scared of the finish line. The reason I don't want to do an epidural is I've gone through fertility treatments, IVF to have my baby girl and now I don't want to do anything to jeopardize and increase my chance of slowing down labor or having a c section, I want my uterus to be good for baby number two down the road. But the thought of going without meds during labor scares me, can anyone recommend books I can read to help with this fear? I'm not taking any classes to prepare for birth but I've read of the process and transition sounds very scary. Women have done this forever, I just need to put it in my mind that I can do this too!

Brooke&Jesse · September 2015

This is my second and I'm doing hypnobirthing because I had such a hard time with meds the first time.

I took a 4 week course on hypnosis relaxation. If you don't want to take a class you can always just order the book, it's called Hypnobirthing the Mongan Method and it comes with a CD that is great for practice.

Good luck! You can do it!

4littles · September 2015

I've labored naturally with past two,and soon to be this one. It hurts,but you can do it. Your body knows what to do,and recovery is so much quicker in my opinion.I had an epi with baby 1 and swelling etc was horrible.Try not to freak out,focus on baby

g/l

McRad · September 2015

Transition is the time when moms ask for meds because it is painful. Remember it only lasts 30ish minutes to an hour and if you can get through that you'll be pushing your little out very soon. Keep reminding yourself you can do it and during that painful stretch of time, you are so so close to the finish line! Focus on breathing- I'd practice now- focus on music if you're planning on having it, etc. In other words, practice what your planning to do in labor.
Good luck. You can do it.

april&aaron · September 2015

I've been loving the book Birthing from Within, by Pam England and Rob Horowitz. They talk about several pain relief/pain coping techniques. I'm planning an all natural VBAC with this LO. I gave in to a lot of interventions with DD, which I think directly led to my c/s. Have faith in your body and your baby. You can do it!

farwellmama · September 2015

@kmadison70 I'm reading Husband Coached Childbirth and it has helped me to feel more confident in my body's ability to do what it's designed to do. Women tend to feel like champions afterward and say that it was hard, painful, but nothing they couldn't handle.

Also, reading natural birth stories have helped me as well. I'm trying to get the "eye of the tiger" and visualize the end result: my sweet little baby in my arms!

I've also heard hypnobabies is a really good way to help with focus and pain management as well, and my midwife recommends. Hope this helps

leah665 · September 2015

Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth.

Consider getting a doula. Yes birth is painful, but remember that in the end you get a beautiful baby.

Here is a TED talk that Ina May Gaskin gave with some good points.

https://youtu.be/S9LO1Vb54yk

yashaswiniarun · September 2015

I am reading "what to expect when you are expecting" 4th edition. It's a pretty good one for first time mommies and a great companion. Well, u are still far off from ur due date, I think u should be enjoying your pregnancy rather than worrying too much about the delivery. Discuss your worries openly with ur caregiver and come to a conclusion.

Sit back and relax. Enjoy your time with ur little one inside.

meghan82 · September 2015

OP, i want to have an unmedicated birth too for many of the reasons you and others stated, but have decided it is best to go in with an open mind. as a FTM i really have no idea how my labor will go and how i will tolerate the pain. recently i have heard from several STM who had an unmedicated first birth but chose an epidural for their second and were happy with the choice, but of course there are many who do the reverse. i've taken a one day childbirth education class with my husband and have been going to prenatal yoga regularly. i found some comfortable yoga positions which allow for deep breathing which i will be using when i am in labor. i also recently got an exercise ball and have been doing some exercises with that and will bring it to L&D. the goal is to distract yourself from the pain so however you think you'll be able to best do that is something you should start planning for now. it's never too early.

however, and this is a big however, if for whatever reason my "preparations" fail and i decide to get an epidural or end up needing a c-section (which i really don't want!), i am determined that i won't let any of these things make me feel like a failure or take away from the happiness i will feel when my son makes his way into the world. please don't let this stress you out as the goal of any birth is to bring a healthy child into the world safely, which will always depend on circumstances. as someone who did IVF i am sure this is a long-awaited moment for you, don't let your expectations create anxiety!!!

kstitt0830 · September 2015

Watch the business of being born it's amazing and you realize that natural labor is not only not scary but it's beautiful

pkfinnerty · September 2015

@leah665 I love that video!! Thanks for sharing!!

maiatene · September 2015

I agree with @meghan82 that you have to go in with an open mind. Read all the book you can about hypnobirthing and other techniques but also read up on medical interventions and pain management so you are prepared for everything. I wanted a med-free birth but my son had other plans - my water broke prematurely so I had to get pitocin to help regulate the contractions. I thought I could tough it out ( which I did for 6 hours) but then it became too much. I was hungry and tired and knew I had a long way to go so I accepted the epidural and it made a huge difference. I was able to rest until it was time to push, which ended up being 24 hours after my water broke. Without those interventions I probably would have had to have a c-section, which I absolutely did not want to do but if it had to be done so be it. My goal was to get this stubborn kid out healthy and thanks to the interventions I was able too. Was it what I had envisioned, no but the end result was the same so I was happy.

silly514 · September 2015

I second Ina May, I'm re reading it for this babe. You can do this. I ended up with an epi about 20 hours into my labor. I had spent 3 hours in transition at 9.5 but my water never broke. My husband was scared and is scared again but I'd repeat the whole process in an instant. If my water had broken and I had not been so exhausted I know I could have done it.... I will add though that I had no issues whatsoever from the epi and am certain that it saved me from a c section. If you make it to a certain point, it is very unlikely to slow you down. I slept for an hour after I got it and woke up ready to push!

littlelady52 · September 2015

Another really great book is Natural Hospital Birth. Your body and the baby will work together and the more informed you are about the process, the more prepared you'll be for making decisions when the time comes. Good luck, you can totally go all natural without interventions, Mama!

tuinstrab · September 2015

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is research the way you want to manage your pain without meds. I feel like it will give you a lot of confidence and that, in turn will help you to not be scared.

My husband and I took Lamaze classes. I know they have "classes" on YouTube that you could do. Lamaze teaches you how to focus your attention away from the pain and proper breathing technology based on where you are in your labor. It was really awesome too bc the classes really empowered my husband to know exactly what was going on and how he could be supportive.

Just remember labor is natural and normal. Its normal to be nervous of the unknown but the more you prepare yourself the better you will feel!

kayway85 · September 2015

I had my son naturally. 21 hours of labor. But honestly only the last three were rough. If you let the pain define your childbirth experience, it absolutely will. But if you make an effort to be positive and present, reminding yourself that pain is only part of the process, then it will be a powerful experience. The most important thing is having a supportive labor team, which includes your spouse and your medical team.

Try to let go of your fear and desire to control every aspect of your birth experience. I know it seems crazy, but the best plan is no plan. There are so many issues that can come up, just try to take it contraction to contraction, one phase at a time. Allow yourself permission to make decisions about pain management as you're in labor. If you have a long labor or a lot of back labor, an epidural can actually be very helpful. Try not to get caught up in achieving perfection, just be kind to yourself and know that you've already done the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby by educating yourself and preparing to the best of your ability.

meghan82 · September 2015

kayway85 said:

Try not to get caught up in achieving perfection, just be kind to yourself and know that you've already done the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby by educating yourself and preparing to the best of your ability.

So well said. This should be a mantra for all FTMs, maybe even all moms, I think! I completely agree with you. If I cross-stitched I would cross-stitch this and bring it to the hospital with me

carmv01 · September 2015

I plan on going natural as well. I'm kind of excited about it. I'm excited to see how my mind and body deals with the pain. I'm excited to have my husband involved in helping me through labor (and my doula as well!). Most of all, I'm excited to meet my little boy

I'm also reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and it's really given me confidence in my body and made me want a natural labor.

Casseylemon · September 2015

This is my first and I plan to go without an epidural if I can. The few people I've told have been discouraging so I've decided to just keep it between my husband and I

I'm taking a prenatal class and hoping that will be helpful! I'm scared but I just tell myself I can do it, women have done it for centuries!

tbasinski · September 2015

I applaud you for wanting to have a med free birth. I think that it is great that we have options and that we can pick what is best for us as individuals. Lots of women have fears in labor and it is because of the unknowns. That being said, don't get too wrapped up in the kind of birth you have (csection, epidural, med free). In this case it's the destination, not the journey. I've heard of many women who feel they have let them self down because they ended up getting an epidural or csection. That makes me so sad to hear, because they just created and birth a new life! That's an amazing accomplishment, regardless of how it was done! So keep your eye on the prize and while I encourage you to stick to your resolution to have a med free birth, please don't focus on that.
Also- they are now realizing that epidurals do NOT slow labor. In fact, they often allow women to rest and relax enough that they are able to progress more quickly. I had epidurals with both of mine and my labors were quick and very enjoyable. I look forward to this one! Good luck!

Rikki_5 · September 2015

I think fear can cause more pain because you are tense. Try to relax and allow your body to open up. And if you decide to get the epidural, just ask the doc to administer a "low dose" so you can still access your muscles to push.

kmadison70 · September 2015

Awesome advice thank you so much to everyone who replied!

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