Sadness over ECV fail...

raspell · September 2015

So, today I had the ECV procedure to try and manually turn my big breech baby around. He did not even budge a little. Apparently our little guy is pretty well stuck sunny side up due to my belly dropping and him sitting too low.

I am seriously bummed. First of all, the procedure really hurt, I mean brought tears to my eyes. Not to mention I was exhausted from not getting enough sleep and then not being able to eat after midnight until we were discharged at around 3pm. Then there's that medication they give you to relax your uterus that makes you super jittery. All in all, not my favorite day. And I am super bummed that after all of that, after chiro visits and doing spinning babies and everything short of burning sage and chanting, we are still breech and having to schedule a c-section.

I know I know I know that the important thing is getting our healthy guy here safely, and that whether I push him out or they cut him out, the end result is the same. But I cannot help feeling majorly sad over this. I really want that natural birth experience, and I can't help but feel that I will be missing out on something special. I figured there might be someone here that can relate, so I wanted to share. Please no judgement about me being upset, I just need a place to grieve and rant a little.
=((

cmlsu · September 2015

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I had a c section 8 days ago after failing to progress in my induction. I understand the illogical feeling of somehow failing as a woman and mother by missing out on the natural birth. I will tell you, no matter how you see your little one for the first time, it's still pretty amazing. There's no one right way to have a child, and please try to enjoy your experience without letting the shadow of your disappointment take away from it. I'm nursing my perfect girl right now and I don't care what I missed out on because it's all about her then, now and always. Process the feelings and good luck momma!

mrscheetah · September 2015

I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you

I have also tried everything (swimming, ice packs, music, spinning babies) to get LO to turn for over a month and nothing has worked. We couldn't do ECV because there was a risk the placenta would detach. C section is scheduled for a week from today.

I don't have any advice, just know that you are definitely not alone in your feelings of disappointment and grief, and there is nothing wrong with those feelings. It's hard to let go of the vision we had for the birth we wanted. Hugs to you

FinalyFound · September 2015

I'm in the exact same position. My LO is still breech. I've done it all except the Chiro, which I'll actually be doing tomorrow. At my ECV, they would get him almost in perfect head down position and then his heart rate would plummet so the doctor would let go and he would immediately resume his breech position and return to a normal heart rate. We tried numerous times with the same result everytime. It was kind of heartbreaking.

Today at my OB appointment we decided that we should schedule a csection. It was a really hard decision and I'm still trying to process it, but if he's still breech when they do the U/S before the surgery at least I'll know I did every single thing I could to try to get this guy to turn head down.

ellebxo26 · September 2015

I had the same feelings after I had my emergency csection 2 weeks ago after my baby went randomly breech after being head down the entire pregnancy and at my final prenatal appointment just 5 days prior to going into labor. I had planned for an all natural waterbirth outside of a hospital. It actually didn't hit me how upset I was over losing my natural birth till about 5 days after he was born. Then it hit me and I cried for about 3 days straight about it. I wanted to feel everything, I wanted to feel the empowerment and catch my baby myself. I will forever be sad that he didn't come out exactly how I wanted but I've come to accept that his birth WAS beautiful..even if it was a csection. Now 15 days out I'm feeling better about it. I hated it and you do have to mourn the "loss" of your birth plan. Don't keep it in..I sobbed into my husbands arms for hours one day and he completely understood where I was coming from so him being compassionate helped. I wish you luck and know you're not wrong for feeling that way and I hope you can find the beauty in your babies birth..no matter how your baby has to get here. ❤

raspell · September 2015

Thanks ladies. I knew someone here would understand. I'm just a little tired of people telling me that it's completely fine and telling me I'm getting worked up over nothing, that a c-section is no big deal. I especially hate it when people try telling me that a c-section is preferable because I won't have to go through the pain of labor. I may seriously throat punch the next person that says that.

I WANT the pain of labor. I want to push him out. I want to feel the pain and pull him from my body. I want to be able to hold him right away. I know that no matter how he gets here it will be beautiful and I am still excited, but I am so thankful for a place to vent and find understanding.

Bat_Ish_Crazy · September 2015

I went to a chiro to turn my transverse baby, and was fortunate enough to have success. I was completely devastated thinking she may not turn. Your feelings are completely normal and justified.

If it helps, my chiro told me something that took some of the stress off. She said she couldn't guarantee that baby would turn, but she only had one patient before that she wasn't successful with. It turned out that patient's baby was all wrapped up in the cord. Baby was where baby needed to be.

FinalyFound · September 2015

@Bat_Ish_Crazy how far along were you when you went to the Chiro?

raspell · September 2015

My C-section has been scheduled for the 23rd. They wanted to do it next week, but I said that was too early.

Excuse me while I have a mini breakdown.

(

blaynehunt · September 2015

I have the same thing going.... I have a great midwife and water birth ready, but my little girl is breech and I have been doing everything I can to get her to flip! I have been seeing a prenatal chiro for 4weeks now, acupuncture, moxibustion as well as all the spinning babies suggestion... I just scheduled to see in OB tomorrow about having a Ecv, I am So sad!!!!! This was not what I pictured or wanted for either of us, and I feel so angry when people try to brush off a C-sec like it's totally good and worth it!

Prayers to you!

Bat_Ish_Crazy · September 2015

FinalyFound said:
@Bat_Ish_Crazy how far along were you when you went to the Chiro?

@FinalyFound, I was 37 weeks.

raspell · September 2015

blaynehunt said:

I have the same thing going.... I have a great midwife and water birth ready, but my little girl is breech and I have been doing everything I can to get her to flip! I have been seeing a prenatal chiro for 4weeks now, acupuncture, moxibustion as well as all the spinning babies suggestion... I just scheduled to see in OB tomorrow about having a Ecv, I am So sad!!!!! This was not what I pictured or wanted for either of us, and I feel so angry when people try to brush off a C-sec like it's totally good and worth it! Prayers to you!

Good luck to you as well! I hope the ECV works for you. I won't lie, it is quite unpleasant, but it has high success rates. Also, seems like you've had more time to work on it so you should be loose enough for it to hopefully work better than it did on me! I have high hopes for you, lady! Mine was just too little too late and he was dropped into my pelvis and stuck there.

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