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March 2015 Moms
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starting school

sierrah856sierrah856 member
in March 2015 Moms
I'm freaking out about how I'm going to go to school for 5 hours while my boy friend watching our son. Let alone studying and caring for him. Am I right to be nervous? I haven't left DS for more than 3 hours

BFP 7/4/2014 EDD 3/9/2015
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Re: starting school

  • crsanchez87crsanchez87 member
    Obviously no one can tell you how to feel, and I don't think this is a right versus wrong situation. Personally, I would feel nervous to suddenly leave my son with my SO for 5 hours if i had never been away from him for more than 3. I would gradually start leaving them alone together for more and more time and then do a couple trial runs of leaving them alone for 5 hours at a time. 
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  • sierrah856sierrah856 member
    My SO hasn't been very cooperative lately with the idea of being alone with DS. SO hasn't even been staying awake when he gets home (graveyard shift) I don't know what's gotten into him. I brought up trying to find a sitter today and he got agitated. I can't leave without knowing the SO won't fall asleep before I get home

    BFP 7/4/2014 EDD 3/9/2015
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  • myjessesgirlmyjessesgirl member
    You certainly seem to have a good reason to feel concerned! My husband had to watch our daughter while I worked during the summer since he was off as a teacher. I had to surrender a lot of control when I did that! Even though I trust him entirely, it meant that I would not be around all the time to approve (or disapprove) of his actions. And he is a man, so his ideas of what is ok to do with a baby are very different from mine sometimes! But part of raising a child with two parents is giving up some of that control. I agree with PP that maybe you should slowly increase the time before officially starting, but I also think you can just dive right in and probably manage (there's not too much difference between 3 and 5 hours). You may need to simply trust that your boyfriend will stay awake to care for your son, that he won't do anything to put your son into danger, and that he will do his very best, even if it's different from what you would do. If you have any doubts that he can handle it due to his being too tired, then have a backup ready to take over that he can call if he needs some relief. Just make it perfectly clear that you do trust him but are concerned about his own welfare and that you don't want him to be overly burdened with taking care of a baby when he's exhausted because it is difficult! Hope things with out well for your family and you're able to come to a good solution.
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  • honkytonk_kidhonkytonk_kid member
    I don't think working all night and taking care of a baby sounds like a very sustainable idea. How many days a week do you have class? Maybe you could find a mother's day out type program (around here they are 9-12 or 9-2ish and very reasonably priced) so SO could get home from work, get a few hours of sleep, and then pick LO up.  
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  • soupalousoupalou member
    Thought I'd add a suggestion- I have a friend who has a 9-5 job and her SO is a bartender - so he works until 3am then comes home and sleeps. They adjusted their baby's schedule so he goes to bed at 10- 10:30pm (when my friend does and sleeps about 12 hours until 10:30 am. This allows her hubby to sleep until baby wakes up and get about 5 hours of sleep and then take care of baby until 5:30 when my friend gets home from work. He is now 20 months and it is still working great for them. many would argue you shouldn't put a baby down that late- but you have to do what you have to do.. Good luck!! I can't imagine being in school and being a mama- good for you!
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  • SharLovesAlexSharLovesAlex member
    I agree with the PP...maybe try putting your baby to sleep later. It doesn't seem feasible that your SO will be able to stay awake if he's working graveyard shift. I hope it works out for you guys!
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  • sierrah856sierrah856 member
    DS will not switch his schedule no matter what I try. He always wakes up at 6 but naps for an hour or 2 at 8 or 9. I will leave the house at 745 and be home by noon which is when SO goes to bed and sleeps until 830 and leaves for work at 930. We don't have any options for day care since none that I can find will take him because of hours age. I'm only going to be gone 3 days a week so I'm hoping this works

    BFP 7/4/2014 EDD 3/9/2015
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