Selfish

mlw1929 · September 2015

I feel like a complete baby i am not having a shower because i have no place to have it venues are really expensive and i cant see myself soending that kind of money. All my friends live far away so i was throwing myself a shower. Im crying just thinking about not having that experience. Most importantly there are more important things in life but i cant help but feel like im missing out.

TinyDancer51510 · September 2015

Is there a church or community center nearby? You could probably have it there and it would be free/not terribly expensive. Also, depending on how many people you think will come, you could always just have it at your house.

I'm sure there are options. You might just have to make some phone calls. :-)

Snoopylovesbelle · September 2015

If all your friends live far away why do you need to rent a venue? Out of all the people you would have to invite to fill a venue there is no one to throw you a shower?
Also if it's too expensive to rent a venue use that money to pay for the baby things you need instead of throwing a shower so other people can buy you stuff...seems like common sense.

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

Have tea and sandwiches at your house.

aphilli8 · September 2015

Public park?

BabyRut2015 · September 2015

I would start a registry (even if only for the discounts and perks) & that way if any distant friends or relatives ask what you need or where you're registered, you could tell them where to look. Otherwise, I would not bother with a shower. Plus I think throwing yourself one is SUPER tacky.

You never know, sometimes co-workers or someone unexpected will step up and do a small something. We had a girl I worked with who had little family support and was thinking of doing the same... we threw her a work shower and her family actually also ended up throwing her a shower. Plus we all gathered money for a target GC and it ended up being about 400 bucks from everyone contributing. You just never know. If star away from throwing one, and try to use your money to get what you need.

Good luck! I hope someone steps up and does something but if not, you will be okay!

DaphneMoon1 · September 2015

Please do not throw your own shower. A shower is a gift.

Also, a baby shower is suppose to be a small gathering. This isn't something you're missing out on.

I agree with PP. Start a registry and if asked, you can give that out. You never know, it's still early and you may have someone offer to throw something.

nlwz123 · September 2015

Yeah, I agree with PPs. Don't throw your own shower. A baby shower really isn't THAT big of a deal, and if you feel like you are going to spending a ton of money on it, just buy the stuff you need instead, especially if people you are close with can't attend.

stephanienjer · September 2015

I'm sorry you feel bad about this. I have a feeling this isn't about the stuff you'd get, but that you want to be able to celebrate with people that the baby is coming. I can sympathize.

My sister came for a visit cross-country when I was 16 weeks pregnant, and I asked her to do something, because it would mean more if she were there than not. (My mom also lives across the country and doesn't plan to come home until after baby.) As a matter of fact, I told her I didn't want one at all unless she could come. (Neither she or my mom were able to be at my bridal shower.) As I lose grandparents and relatives from the older generation, I feel more and more pull to be close for any reason I can to my family.

If you really want to just have a gathering, and not just a solicitation for gifts, can you reach out to just a few, and see if you can do a lunch or tea at a restaurant? That way, you feel like you've got the connection and celebration without a lot of fuss. It would be a tasteful way to celebrate. (I don't care about tacky. Every person's tacky is another person's classy.)

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