NERVOUUUS!

nannerslovee · September 2015

So I am already a mother. I am 19. I have twins in heaven and I have my 2 year old daughter. My fiancé and I were thinking of doing a home birth but I am very nervous and scared. And if anyone on here has lived in barstow,ca... you know how hard it is to find a midwife! So I'm literally scared for my life and would feel better just going to a hospital but at the same time I want to try the home birth. But, my fiancé doesn't understand these feelings that I'm having and I don't know how to explain them, I just don't want him pushing me into a type of labor I won't feel comfortable with. He's just really excited and doesn't understand. Plus, I don't know about the whole procedure! Someone please help me!

kimey1 · September 2015

Im a first timer so I have no idea but I think you should prepare for the birth you want, while having a backup hospital/clinic in case things don't go as planned/expected.
I did a quick search and it seems like there are midwifes about 30-60miles from you. Going to their websites might help you learn about their scope of work too. Hope this helps!

SisterMaryNapalm · September 2015

If you are committed to a home birth, then go for it but make sure your midwife is prepared for any emergencies that crop up. There is an increased risk for home births so do your research but that's not to say don't do it. There are different certifications of midwifery in the US and they are not all trained to the same standard or have the same governing of experience, different types of birth etc so do your research there as well.

If you feel in your heart that it's the wrong decision, though, please don't allow yourself to be pushed into it. I say this because you need to feel as safe as possible when giving birth and not second guess your care. If you feel it's the wrong decision, this won't help.

Good luck!

Snoflakes4eva · September 2015

SrMaryNapalm said:

If you are committed to a home birth, then go for it but make sure your midwife is prepared for any emergencies that crop up. There is an increased risk for home births so do your research but that's not to say don't do it. There are different certifications of midwifery in the US and they are not all trained to the same standard or have the same governing of experience, different types of birth etc so do your research there as well. If you feel in your heart that it's the wrong decision, though, please don't allow yourself to be pushed into it. I say this because you need to feel as safe as possible when giving birth and not second guess your care. If you feel it's the wrong decision, this won't help. Good luck!

She doesn't have a midwife.

OP, why don't you want to deliver at a hospital? You know you can have a birth plan anyone where you choose to deliver. But its just a plan, and sometimes things don't go as planned.

spatter1 · September 2015

I'm a first timer as well so don't know all the ins and outs. I will say that I think labor is probably stressful enough without the added discomfort with your birth plan so it seems very important to have a plan that makes you feel as comfortable as possible. Personally I plan to deliver in a hospital. Of all my friends who have had children, only one of them had an experience that went "as planned" without complications and the others are lucky they were in hospitals able to act quickly to ensure their and their baby's safety. I have nothing against midwives, I think I'm just hyper sensitive to the idea of things not going as planned.

I hope you're able to come up with a plan you are both happy with!

Jizzill · September 2015

What do you and your partner see as the benefit(s) to a home birth?

Ultimately, if you would feel more comfortable with a hospital birth, you should go to the hospital. You are the one whose body will be doing all the work, so I believe your opinion weighs a little more heavily on this issue than his.

AnnikaD20 · September 2015

When you picture a low stress, comfortable, safe birth situation for yourself, what would that look like? It sounds like maybe you get mental comfort from the quick access to advanced care that a hospital can provide if complications arise. A common theme with people who choose homebirths is that they don't like hospitals for one reason or another or just feel more relaxed in the safe familiar surroundings of their own home.

This isn't your first pregnancy, so you have some experience to draw on as far as what feels right to you.

runlong3 · September 2015

Are there any birth center options around you? That could be a good compromise between a hospital and home birth. You are still in a medical facility, but not exactly a hospital - usually they aren't quite as pushy about interventions as a regular hospital.

chantzies · September 2015

My grandmother delivered all her 4 children at home. Her reasoning was that she didn't want the hospital to mix up babies and end up with one that wasn't hers. LOL. Times have changed. The advantage of a home birth, as I see it, is being able to deliver in the comfort and familiarity of your own home. The body can relax and the delivery is more natural. I had my last at the hospital, after 46 hours of labour (he was going nowhere). I must say, I REALLY appreciated being catered to at the hospital after he was born, having meals brought to me and not having to worry about cooking and cleaning.

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