SO refuses to have sex

Re: SO refuses to have sex

• WDDCH member

  September 2015

  He's probably freaked that he could touch his baby with his penis, during sex with you. And honestly I don't blame him for being weirded out about that. If I was a man the last thing I'd want to do is poke my baby in the head with that! I doubt it's anything personal against you. You can be intimate without sex so try hand-holding, massage and other ways to connect. You should also open up about how you feel if you need emotional reassurance. He's not just going to guess that you're emotional right now because he feels distant. You have to tell him.

  

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• DottieEmbers member

  September 2015

  Yes. I did tell him, and he got mad at me about it.

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• MusicEBA22 member

  September 2015

  It seems silly that he got mad about it. I said something to my hubby because we had gone 3 months without sex and I was worried that there was something wrong with us. He reassured me that there wasn't and it was just too weird for him. Though he's been a lot more cuddly with me since to try and make up for it. Maybe you could suggest something like that to help reassure you about your relationship?

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• CaboBride2015 member

  September 2015

  My DH and I are the opposite and I can tell you I sometimes find it irritating because it makes me feel guilty and like I'm not being a good wife. Which, of course, is not at all his point. Maybe he got upset because of something like that? I can totally understand him not being into it. We're to the point where it's pretty obvious there's a baby in there and her comment that she could feel his head probably put him over the edge.
  
  Try not to take it personal and find other ways to be intimate that you're both comfortable with.

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• AndieTessie member

  September 2015

  My husband is also not interested in sex right now. Last time we did it, it was during the daytime and he could very clearly see the baby moving and it totally freaked him out. It does make me feel like it's because he's not attracted to me, but I know he's just worried. I agree with PP that uping the cuddling has helped, I'm sorry he got mad when you said something about it. I don't really have other advice, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

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• mandie3548 member

  September 2015

  I totally understand this. Me and my boyfriend don't have sex very often and I always feel rejected. Even when we do I usually have to ask him. I know that he's tired a lot because he works midnight and in general he's more of a cuddler. Which seems strange to me because it's not what I'm used to in men. And being pregnant my sex drive is higher than normal while his seems to be lower. I actually catch myself feeling jealous because whenever he touches me it's to rub my belly. I've cried about it so much because I feel like he doesn't see me the same or at all sexy. But I do notice the less I bother him about it the more we just sort of naturally have intimacy. So I try to just let it happen.

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• WDDCH member

  September 2015

  I'm sorry he got mad. People usually get mad because of guilt. Just assuming and throwing that out there. He may also be getting really nervous if this is your first baby (well everyone gets nervous no matter how many you have but especially with the first!). He's not acting himself, you're not acting yourself...
  
  ... so try to go on a date this week and just have FUN together. No pressure for either of you but just have fun. Mini golf, movie and dinner? Enjoy each other.

  

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• DottieEmbers member

  September 2015

  Thanks everyone for your comments/suggestions. It really helps a lot to hear that I am not alone and also that how he is feeling is quite normal and nothing to take personally. We'll definitely try cuddling more and/or a special date, and I will try not to mention my dissatisfaction about the lack of sex because really it won't help anything.

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• cjstats87 member

  September 2015

  With baby 1 I showed my DH the cheerio-bagel scale of dilation and he was beyond freaked out about me being a "ritz" 4cm and that his tip would poke the baby's soft spot...I made him do it anyway bc we (mainly me) needed her out! Lol!!!

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• krose92 member

  September 2015

  Wanna trade? DH is as horny as ever, and I feel bad for turning him down all the time, but at 39+3, it is WAY too uncomfortable for me!

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• beckygoetz93 member

  September 2015

  My husband finds sex weird during pregnancy and at this stage I do too. Im so uncomfortable and huge that sex is the last thing I'm wanting to do haha. But I'd say don't worry. Sex will go back to normal after baby. I worried about this a lot with my first but now that I've been through it I know it's just a phase. We've probably had sex 5 times in the last 9 months haha. It sucks bc I do miss the closeness it brings but it's just too awkward right now. Try cuddling:)

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