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July 2015 Moms
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Am I horrible

MaddyZ15MaddyZ15 member
in July 2015 Moms
I tried the breastfeeding for about two weeks after I gave birth and I didn't enjoy it. So, I went to formula.

My husband told me, it's not about how I feel, it's for the benefit of the child.

So, the baby is a month old and I am dried up. Am I so horrible. There are lots of people who use formula. People are saying, the child has a better chance of being healthy, less diseases and now I feel so down about giving up.

I feel emotionally forced to buy all the formula needed for the child since I am the one choose not to breastfeed.
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Re: Am I horrible

  • randa923randa923 member
    Wow that was terrible of your husband to say. As long as baby is fed and happy it's all good. Breastfeeding is extremely stressful and painful! Mom needs to be happy too. You are definitely not horrible!!
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  • tasharchibaldtasharchibald member
    Not horrible at all! But I have read that you can get your milk back if you choose. Supplements and pumping... But regardless as long as baby is being fed and taken care of it doesn't matter if their getting breast or formula.
    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • eclohoecloho member
    Well you love your LO & are keeping him/her well fed right! So don't beat yourself up about it now. On the other hand 2 weeks is a "blink of an eye". My LO is 6 weeks today & I do find myself enjoying the feedings more & aside of middle of the night, looking forward to them. I also love that I feed this little guy all day & night for free! Formula is expensive!
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  • eclohoecloho member
    ...I should also say, that although I feel so fortunate, I know not all breast-feeding experiences are the same
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  • kamio92kamio92 member
    Don't feel bad! It's about the mummy being happy just as much. You can't look after the baby if you aren't looking after yourself. I've got a friend who did the same thing at week 7. She's been cut up about it or feels guilty but some of us can't breastfeed even if we wanted to.

    I can't exclusively breastfeed and bubba gets 80% of her needs in formula.

    Just remember breastfeeding isn't everything your baby needs your love and comfort just as much if not more.

    Your love for them is what lasts.
    [color=purple]Married July 2014[/color]
    [color=pink]First Monkey July 2015[/color]
    [color=green]Baby No2 March 2018
    ~Team Green~[/color]

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  • nmfranklin00nmfranklin00 member
    I say to each their own!! It's a terribly hard decision to make, but stand by what you decide. Shoot I was formula fed and am a perfectly healthy, intelligent adult. People need to back off when it comes to this PERSONAL decision! My body, my choice! I have the guilt coming from the other direction...he's not getting enough, he's still hungry, I gave him the extra milk you sent, because he was crying, formula would fill him up and be easier on you.....trust me, as soon as I get a good bill of health at his 2 month checkup this week- I'm going to tell people he's fine and to back off. Stand by your decision-- it's your body.
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  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    Wow, that was not supportive of your husband. But you shouldn't worry :) I stopped breastfeeding after 3 weeks because my production couldn't keep up with the baby. You tried and that is great :) you gave your baby the best part, the colestrum.
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  • jmucc421jmucc421 member
    I read a post like this on the formula feeding board. I absolutely cannot fathom why any man would think its ok to give you that guilt trip. As I said on the other board, men wouldn't make it through the first trimester of pregnancy, let alone breastfeeding. My husband would be out on the streets if he would have said word one about me switching to formula.
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  • LSquared3960LSquared3960 member
    You gave it a shot, and it wasn't for you. You shouldn't feel bad about that! I too tried for 2 weeks and found myself stressing and feeling really down. I made the switch to formula because I felt like I could be a better mother to my child and I know he's still getting what he needs. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your decision! 
    image
    Mom to AJ: 2/16/2012

    Elliott Woodson due 8/2/2015!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • MaddyZ15MaddyZ15 member
    Thanks to all!!! I needed to hear some supportive words. I have been mixed with emotions lately.
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  • MaddyZ15MaddyZ15 member
    randa923 said:

    Did you see this yet?

    Thanks:-)
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  • sarahsairsairsarahsairsair member
    Wow, my DH would be able to have an opinion like that, when he can start lactating
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  • rachiec773rachiec773 member
    You are definitely not horrible!! I didn't even try to breast feed, just started straight out with formula because I knew I would only be with her for a short time before going back to work and once back at work pumping would be very difficult (I'm a special Ed teacher and am with children pretty much all day). Good for you for trying and poo poo to your husband for making you feel bad about stopping.
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  • VTomanVToman member
    Your husband obviously doesn't understand, otherwise he wouldn't have said something so insensitive. I gave up after two and a half weeks because I was basically starving my child because I couldn't keep up production. And after visits to the lactation clinic, buying a very expensive pump and constant nursing and pumping to the point where I didn't have time to do anything else and STILL having to supplement with formula, I decided to stop nursing.

    I was heartbroken and felt like a failure. My husband basically said that as long as our baby is healthy, it didn't matter if she was eating breastmilk or formula. His support made all the difference.

    The goal is a full baby belly, a healthy baby AND a healthy mom. Whatever you have to do to accomplish those things is the right thing to do for you and baby. It's different for everyone, and it's an extremely personal decision for every woman.

    Until he can start lactating and produce enough to support life, your husband needs to keep quiet on this particular issue.
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  • acciocoffeeacciocoffee member
    That is super inconsiderate of him to make you feel guilty. Breastfeeding is hard! My first couple of weeks were terrible! My husband was always supportive of me trying, but he also told me it didn't make me a bad mom if it didn't work out. If your baby is being fed and loved, you are doing your job.
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  • bridgitdbridgitd member
    I'm at week 6 of EBF... The first 2 weeks were horrible and I wanted to quit so many times. The only thing stopping me from quitting was the cost of formula and the guilt I knew I'd feel. My hubby urged me to push through and while I'm happy I did, I even now sometimes want to yell at him whether he'd like having someone sucking on his f$&!ing nipples for hours and hours every day for months on end. You made the best decision for you both. As pp said - an unhappy mommy does not = a happy baby
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  • confuegosuzyconfuegosuzy member
    My LO is mostly breastfed. I had 1 week where he was EBF. I had 2.5 weeks where I was crying when he nursed or I pumped because it hurt so much. I don't feel guilty when he gets formula. For instance, DH is up working, baby is wide awake, so I put him in the bouncer next to DH, said, "give him a bottle." and went to bed. That's the best for him and me. I'm rested and he's fed. Plus next time he wakes up, my boobs will be happy to see him!

    My older son didn't ever latch, so I pumped until I lost my milk at the end of 3 months. Most days he got 1-2 bottles of breastmilk. He's totally healthy. And honestly? I feel like feeding him was more bonding than when I nurse this one.
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  • MaddyZ15MaddyZ15 member
    :-) thanks again all
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